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I would be embarrassed to use an online dating site to meet a woman so I don't go on them. I am old fashioned and prefer getting dates in real life. I would rather go dateless if that was my only option.
There are a lot of people who still hold this view today in 2020. To some degree, the stigma around online dating will never die. I think younger people (20s-early 30's) don't care so much.
For people who are older, there was a time not too long ago, when online dating/apps were thought to be for weird people, and it was definitely taboo/creepy to be on them. I don't care anymore, although, I would probably still be embarrassed to answer the "how did you meet?" question that comes up often whenever you are out.
It's just cooler and less embarrassing to have a cool story of how you met the traditional way if you get married (for wedding invites, telling friends/family, etc.), and a lot less embarrassing when answering the "how did you all meet?" question. Although, that is just my personal opinion.
I met my fiancée on an online dating site. So, I'm 100% happy and not embarrassed. When people ask us how we met we tell them and they usually think its cool or so.
I think today it's widely accepted. I loved it because it cut through the BS. I could talk to someone on a site and if it wasn't going anywhere, either of us could just dip out easier. No need to physically go out to figure that out. Plus, it was just more comfortable. My fiancée is shy so she felt more comfortable talking on the site before exchanging numbers and such.
Sure, I guess its not for everyone. But for me it worked! No embarrassment!
Wow, old thread brought back. I probably posted 4 years ago here. Who knows. I met my fiance on an International dating site, but before that I was done, at least done with it in the U.S. I was just sick of it, but not embarrassed about meeting anyone that way. Its mainstream now.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Originally Posted by geminigirl7
Anyone else feel this way about online dating and did you go through with it anyway? Did anyone you know ever see your profile somewhere and call you out on it? Did you care? Did most dates go pleasantly enough? Help I'm new to dating!!
It's super common for ppl in their 20s & 30s to be online for EVERYTHING........but I know that older ppl still have problems with it...like there's a stigma to it. Like divorce used to have a stigma too. Chances are half of your friends will be using it tho..or did at one time if they are under 40. A quarter of marriages now are from ppl that met online! I remember in college Hot or Not was super popular.
It's just the new way of meeting ppl & doing things........like paying bills, taking classes, or talking to somebody in another state. So....you have to have a new way of thinking IMO if you are older & you aren't used to it.
It's super common for ppl in their 20s & 30s to be online for EVERYTHING........but I know that older ppl still have problems with it...like there's a stigma to it. Like divorce used to have a stigma too. Chances are half of your friends will be using it tho..or did at one time if they are under 40. A quarter of marriages now are from ppl that met online! I remember in college Hot or Not was super popular.
It's just the new way of meeting ppl & doing things........like paying bills, taking classes, or talking to somebody in another state. So....you have to have a new way of thinking IMO if you are older & you aren't used to it.
You are completely correct. Based on my observation, the cutoff is about at 35 years old, give or take, right now. Many people that age or older find OLD/apps a little weird, although I don't think it necessarily holds a super negative stigma in the mid 30's- early 40's age group since many have friends who met on these sites.
People in their late 30's and older (I am in my late 30's) remember when online dating (there were no apps then), was considered really weird and there was a stereotype of people that used them. Not to mention that when it first came out, the media made it taboo and published headlines about any violent crimes, stalking, catfishing, extortion etc. that occurred from people who met online. So OLD not only had a stigma for the reputation of weird people, but it was also considered dangerous/risky.
These stigmas are completely played out now and people in their 20s-30s likely never even are aware of them. But those who are slightly older remember them. Also, older people (50+) find the whole idea really weird. So there is a large segment of the population that still holds some stigma to online dating, although, among the younger generations, there is likely very minimal stigma. I'm sure not all people like it, but there is not the creepy/weird stigma that some of us remember.
I think people were embarrassed by and lightly made fun of for online dating 15-20 years ago, but its becoming very mainstream in the past 10 years. I don't think anyone is embarrassed by it anymore. Its become probably the most common way to date this past decade.
When I first tried it in 2003, yes it was considered something that only socially awkward people did.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Originally Posted by personone
People in their late 30's and older (I am in my late 30's) remember when online dating (there were no apps then), was considered really weird and there was a stereotype of people that used them.
I'm in my early 30s & I don't ever remember a stigma. IMO you have to go older than 40s for a stigma...like 50s & older because it's not how they learned easily to meet ppl. Lots of my friends were on Hot or Not in college....& there were campus online groups too. It was an easier way to connect...you didn't have to be in classes edit: or run into them to meet them. That's how Facebook got its start....it used to be just for college students.
IMO the stigma is with older ppl that didn't grow up doing everything online. When you are on a computer & talking to friends in high school or college & using it for school AND... everything else....you don't think anything of using it as a way to meet ppl that live far away. It's almost second nature.
Last edited by TashaPosh; 07-21-2020 at 07:27 PM..
Yes, us “older people” do not go to work in the modern world, with computers and electronics either. In fact mostly we write each other letters in cursive, and wait by the door for the postman. Maybe he will bring the new Sears catalogue so we can finally pour over it by candlelight and send away for a new brassiere. The last one accidentally fell in during a long sojourn in the outhouse. The catalogue that is, not the brassiere. Hee.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Originally Posted by RbccL
Yes, us “older people” do not go to work in the modern world, with computers and electronics either. In fact mostly we write each other letters in cursive, and wait by the door for the postman. Maybe he will bring the new Sears catalogue so we can finally pour over it by candlelight and send away for a new brassiere. The last one accidentally fell in during a long sojourn in the outhouse. The catalogue that is, not the brassiere. Hee.
Hee. Since we're talking about dating online & some ppl that are embarrassed about it tho, going to work with computers is a lot different than meeting ppl to date across the country. It's an idea they have to get used to & learn how to screen dates or how it works........AND since a lot were already married & they weren't dating, lots of them never got used to it. So......ofc there are fewer numbers of older ppl that ever got comforable with online dating. They are the ppl that get "embarrassed" by it & they are less comfortable with putting themselves out there online IMO.
For ppl that were used to meeting friends through college meetups & chats online tho.....it's just normal. So are pictures.....Hot or Not was based just on a picture...like an earlier version of Tinder. It was super popular when I was in school & it wasn't "embarrasing".
I am in my early 40s and I think with my peers it is considered kind of awkward to admit you met online. Most of my friends usually meet guys by going out, having parties, going to events. Most of the relationships I had in the past decade were people I knew from high school or people I met at my friend's party.
I have done some OLD as well (I did a lot of dating off of myspace when myspace was big, and before that, mIRC chatrooms--and the mIRC chatroom thing is embarrassing to admit because I think it does make me sound socially awkward and its because I was socially awkward at the time, and possibly a lot of the people on there also were).
My experience with OLD dating mostly, was that it almost always ended up being shady. Like, the guy was usually lying about something, like he was married, or he had kids I didn't hear about until two months later, or he was leading a double life, or had a harem of women he was all hiding from each other. Many of them ended up being "off" in some way. Narcissistic, possibly.
Then again I didn't use paysites like eHarmony because it was way too much effort. I put up a profile on POF once but lost interest in it after a few days of chatting with a few guys from there and just feeling "meh" about it all.
I don't know, I still prefer the organic way. It seems people are more likely to be kind of pre-vetted if you meet them through friends or if you knew them from way back in school. Who knows what or who you will dig up online, and there is just a ton more vetting and worrying you have to do about who it is you are talking to and what their intentions are with you.
Just the POV of a 40s something and how I think most of my peers see it too.
Last edited by moongirl00; 07-22-2020 at 08:52 AM..
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Hee. Since we're talking about dating online & some ppl that are embarrassed about it tho, going to work with computers is a lot different than meeting ppl to date across the country. It's an idea they have to get used to & learn how to screen dates or how it works........AND since a lot were already married & they weren't dating, lots of them never got used to it. So......ofc there are fewer numbers of older ppl that ever got comforable with online dating. They are the ppl that get "embarrassed" by it & they are less comfortable with putting themselves out there online IMO.