Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Aw, I'm glad my point struck home enough for you to write a whole post about it.
The fact of the matter is, women receive much more attention than men in OLD. If you truly believe it doesn't affect your sense of self, or that you don't give guys the time of day that you actually might have in real life, well then more power to you.
Why do you assume that receiving attention - any kind of attention - is a good thing?
So if some creepy person at work started telling you how he noticed what time you got to work, and what you ate for lunch, and you wore that same shirt last Thursday, and you always park your car in the same place, but yesterday you didn't, hmm....I wonder why, and he checked your Facebook and saw that you spend weekends at this bar - would you find that sort of attention "charming?" Would it inflate your ego? Doubt it.
And I only quoted you because it was the most recent one I could find. Don't let your EGO get the best of you.
So, Red, you'd be totally flattered by dozens of messages from women you were completely uninterested in?
Of course not. He's like the guys who complain loudly that women never approach them, then, months later, they mention on another thread that they're not into the women who do approach them.
What the OP means is that there's no way to get through to the guys who post on here that women on OLD get inflated egos from "all the attention", EXCEPT to demonstrate to them what it's like, in their message in-boxes on C-D. I think it's a good idea. And the message-bombing should continue for a whole week, to realistically simulate the experience.
But then the whiners will probably insist that no, no, that's not what it's really like for women on OLD, they get "real" messages, too, flattering them, and chatting them up like real people do. It's part of that belief system that insists that women literally have men lined up asking them for dates every day, wherever they go in public. It's unshakeable, irrational as it is.
Why do you assume that receiving attention - any kind of attention - is a good thing?
I want to know the answer to this as well.
I went through a point in my life where I was ignored and no guy paid any romantic attention to me. You know what I did? I adapted and learned to receive my confidence from somewhere else. I realized I didn't need anyone's validation or "compliments" to make me feel good. I can go on being completely ignored in a romantic sense and not get all bothered about it at all. If someone gives me a genuine compliment of course I'll appreciate but I don't NEED it.
This assumption that everyone feels the same when it comes to being "wanted" is just simply not true. I don't get why that ruffles some guys' feathers.
So, Red, you'd be totally flattered by dozens of messages from women you were completely uninterested in?
This is interesting. I was in a relationship with a guy I met on OKC. He had a pretty decent experience before we met. He received messages, went on several dates, and dated a woman for a few months, whom he also met on OKC. Then we dated, and things ended. He joined OKC again and was surprised by the lack of messages he was receiving. Like, really at a loss, and when we talked about it he revealed he received messages, but "didn't care about those" because he wasn't attracted to or interested in them. I think most would say he was an above average-looking guy. A guy accustomed to dating attractive women may not even "see" the messages he receives that may not be matches. They aren't even on his radar.
And he's not the only one. I've spoken to other men who had similar experiences. When they say "no messages," what they really mean is "no messages from the women I'm into." I guess messages from undesirable women counts as "no messages."
The point is you're not interested in a lot of these men precisely because your inflated sense of self tells you you can do better
The point is you're not interested in a lot of these men precisely because your inflated sense of self tells you you can do better
So it has nothing to do with personal preferences, or looking for someone they have something in common with? Someone who actually read their profile and chimed in on some common interests?
Why do you assume that receiving attention - any kind of attention - is a good thing?
So if some creepy person at work started telling you how he noticed what time you got to work, and what you ate for lunch, and you wore that same shirt last Thursday, and you always park your car in the same place, but yesterday you didn't, hmm....I wonder why, and he checked your Facebook and saw that you spend weekends at this bar - would you find that sort of attention "charming?" Would it inflate your ego? Doubt it.
And I only quoted you because it was the most recent one I could find. Don't let your EGO get the best of you.
Lol drop the chip.
I never said any attention at all is good. And you're being completely intellectually dishonest if you are saying you don't like the sweet, complimentary messages, even if they aren't from the sexy stud you think you deserve.
So it has nothing to do with personal preferences, or looking for someone they have something in common with? Someone who actually read their profile and chimed in on some common interests?
Why is assumed that personalising messages with common interests or whatever automatically means connection and rapport? That's not how this works. Those messages can be met with ghosting as well.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
