Would you settle if your options dried up (2013, attractive, ugly)

[augiedogie]

I think you are being wise and sensible to not settle. You would be miserable if you did.

[LowonLuck]

Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar

I sympathize. I don't know the specifics of your situation, but if you want to be in a relationship that badly, then yes, you might have to settle for a decent guy who you aren't really physically attracted to. Couldn't be me though. I'd rather die alone with a house full of cats, and that's probably what will happen. lol

I am not sure that is the solution either. I had to lecture my one cat for leaving his hair all over the bathroom sink this morning. Same conversation I have had with every man before him.

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by LowonLuck

I am not sure that is the solution either. I had to lecture my one cat for leaving his hair all over the bathroom sink this morning. Same conversation I have had with every man before him.

LOL...the only issue I have with my cat is that she likes to make noise and wake me up in the middle of the night, but I'd still prefer to have her in my bed over a man who I "settled" for and who I'm silently hoping won't want sex tonight. Different strokes for different folks though.

[back2MD]

The issue being a single mom. It's like I'm a pariah.

[Amelie90]

Originally Posted by back2MD

The issue being a single mom. It's like I'm a pariah.

I don't see why you would be when so many men have children too.

[LowonLuck]

Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar

I don't see why you would be when so many men have children too.

Well with single men that have kids, they either have their kids all the time and do not want to deal with more kids. Or they never have their kids and they expect the single mom to have endless amounts of time being kid free.

I will not date single dads any longer. It never ended well and my best relationships have been with child free men.

[MrRational]

Originally Posted by back2MD

The issue being a single mom. It's like I'm a pariah.

It can make finding a match tougher.

But usually that difficulty is related to out of context parenting age ranges.
Such as when the kids come earlier or later than the "norms" in your world...
and of course how well fixed you each are regarding the costs of parenthood.

eg: a 50something woman with middle school age kids she had later in life
and represent no less than another ten years of commitment and responsibility
and expense before the Mom is available for the sort of post parenting empty nest
lifestyle that most of the age appropriate men would be ready for then.
(my personal dilemma btw)

The alternative is finding new partners in a similar set of commitment and responsibility
and expense circumstances that they can hunker down with for the duration.

These men are easier to find at 30something than 50something...
but each one is likely to be financially stretched, emotionally worn and time limited...
just like the women they mirror.

The pariah isn't the person... it's the circumstances of their reality.

[jgn2013]

It really depends on what "settling" means.

For men: settling typically means not being able to land the hot girl you've always wanted. You end up with an "average" looking/chubby etc. woman instead of the Instagram model.

For women: settling typically means a man with baggage (kids, ex-wife etc.) who is pretty good looking or a man with no baggage that you never would have given the time of day in your 20's. Women don't typically settle for the ugly guy with baggage...it's one or the other.

[Londoncowboy30]

Originally Posted by back2MD

The issue being a single mom. It's like I'm a pariah.

Of course that would put off a good few but not all

[MinivanDriver]

Originally Posted by back2MD

Options dry up, it's a reality.

No, it's not. It's a lack of imagination and courage.