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Oh -so WOMEN are the problem? Men are incapable of controlling themselves, I get it.
OP - who know what he wants, he's a douche. Either way, decide what YOU want; stop reacting to him.
PS: Many people like having backups and/or harems. I doubt his intentions are worthwhile, whatever his reasons.
And what is she? An innocent princess? They used each other voluntarily so he is no worse than she is.
So as you all know I was in a fwb arrangement with this guy and it just got ugly. He got back with his ex while he was sleeping with me. And he ended things when things were getting serious with his ex gf. The only things is he won't leave me alone. Last week he texted me "do you wanna later tonight?" Clearly he meant sex. I replied to him saying "I thought you were getting serious with your girl." He then replied saying oops I meant to text that to my buddy. I don't buy the whole accidental thing but I just let it go.
And then this week he texted me again saying he misses sex with me. I replied to him "I don't know what to say." he then said "I'm really debating if I want to see you again because we are not together"
What is this guy trying to get at? What is his goal? I literally don't understand anything he is saying.
He chose to be with someone else. If he's trying to get back to you, it's just to keep you around as a sidechick, which is not a good position to be in. Block him.
FWB is when both people are unattached and in it for the fun and pleasure of it. When it stops being pleasurable or fun or when one of the participants gets serious with someone else, then it ends. See, I take the "friends" part of FWB pretty seriously. As I told my own FWB a while ago, "You get the same emotional commitment I give any of my friends, but I'm not gonna rearrange my life for you because this is a non-relationship. We hang out and we have fun together, and then we go our separate ways until we meet up again." He got that and seemed to agree. We text each other about the same "friend stuff" I text my other friends about. It's just that when we get together, instead of watching movies or going to brunch or whatever, we have a tendency to rip each other's clothes off.
IMO, a friend wouldn't treat you like this guy is treating you. You deserve more than being some would-be cheater's dirty little secret.
What's she guilty of?
Princesses can enjoy sex as much as anyone.
No reason to suggest that she's not an innocent princess.
Sleeping with him. A princess can enjoy sex. But unless she's being raped, she's choosing to sleep with a man who's emotionally unavailable, and seeing someone else. In addition to not using birth control while sleeping with him.
So he's not innocent in this, since it was very clear that this guy doesn't care anything about her, and just wants her around for a booty-call.
So as you all know I was in a fwb arrangement with this guy and it just got ugly. He got back with his ex while he was sleeping with me. And he ended things when things were getting serious with his ex gf. The only things is he won't leave me alone. Last week he texted me "do you wanna later tonight?" Clearly he meant sex. I replied to him saying "I thought you were getting serious with your girl." He then replied saying oops I meant to text that to my buddy. I don't buy the whole accidental thing but I just let it go.
And then this week he texted me again saying he misses sex with me. I replied to him "I don't know what to say." he then said "I'm really debating if I want to see you again because we are not together"
What is this guy trying to get at? What is his goal? I literally don't understand anything he is saying.
Unless one is a sociopath, there's no such things as friends-with-benefits no-strings sex.
It is a myth, a lie, a belief that is not supported by anything. Why? Because bumping uglies is an intimate act, no matter how people want to rationalize that fact away. Do it once? Maybe you can walk away. Do it three, five, ten times? Someone is going to get emotionally involved. It's unavoidable.
Your post is proof of that, for you are actually getting jealous.
If this were a true FWB situation, you wouldn't care. Seriously. As long as the guy was practicing safe sex and not infecting you with some virus that made body parts fall off, you shouldn't care one whit.
And yet you do.
Do yourself an enormous favor and discard the entire FWB mentality, for it's not only self-destructive, empty and devaluing who you are as a person, but it's ultimately a lie that will mess you up emotionally. It will cause you to go on message boards parsing every single text and phone conversation with the question, "What does this mean?" You're doing it already. Which means that you've slipped into a relationship, albeit a dysfunctional one, without realizing it. You're having a relationship without the benefits of a relationship, namely security, trust, and mutual respect. It's the worst of both worlds, and you don't even realize it.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 05-05-2017 at 07:40 AM..
Sleeping with him. A princess can enjoy sex. But unless she's being raped, she's choosing to sleep with a man who's emotionally unavailable, and seeing someone else. In addition to not using birth control while sleeping with him.
So he's not innocent in this, since it was very clear that this guy doesn't care anything about her, and just wants her around for a booty-call.
Still don't understand why any of those things have any guilt attached to them?
Consenting adults are allowed to sleep with who they want to. There was no deceit going on, that I'm aware of. It's only now, since the guy got back with his ex-gf in what I'm assuming is a monogamous relationship (not that it has to be), that there's any problem. And the OP seems to be handling it appropriately by not agreeing to sleep with the guy.
Two unattached people slept with each other. What's the problem (other than the OP not understanding what seems pretty obvious - that the guy wants to sleep with his ex and the OP (which isn't an actual problem as long as all 3 parties are aware))?
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