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Sadly, my girlfriend of nearly 9 years, has had a rough upbringing. Her father is not in her life and her mother is a barely functioning alcoholic who puts herself above her 2 kids( girlfriend's younger brother is 16). Having been with her for awhile, I've just adapted to this role that I'm not only a boyfriend to her, I put the pressure on myself to be a stable part of her brother's life as an older brother type or a role model or whatever. Anytime we fight, even if she's in the wrong, I end up giving in or apologizing because I feel the need to be un both of their lives. There's also an abundance of times where I feel that she takes me for granted.
Am I doing too much or do I need to keep doing all of this?
Do what you can do, but you can't save the world. It's admirable, but don't get lost in this care taker role that you're assuming. Do some thinking on that and see if you can figure out where that's coming from....
Last edited by Chowhound; 07-17-2017 at 07:53 PM..
and I'll just add here that it's not just me stepping up in this kid's life, my girl has really taken steps above and beyond a normal " older sister" role and really is a motherly figure to him, not like 100%, but, its there, if he gets in trouble, she's the one giving the big lecture, doing the punishing, etc
not necessarily fix, just help. She's fine despite everything, we just both worry about him
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