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Old 09-18-2017, 03:11 AM
 
8,238 posts, read 6,585,544 times
Reputation: 23145

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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post

Well I hope we managed to clear things up for you. If you're still not convinced, why not ask your own children and grandchildren for their perspective?
You'll get an answer more tailored to your particular socioeconomic and geographic community.
I don't think dating and sexual behavior are carried out differently in various geographic areas of the U.S. Nor are dating and sexual behavior all that differently carried out by various socioeconomic groups.

I guess none of you have read many of Curmudgeons posts for a number of years - or you'd know his children and grandchildren do not live anywhere nearby to him in the Ozarks. And he's repeated many times that he's not interested in dating or a new partner especially since his wife passed away only very recently, but he's said not ever too.

Last edited by matisse12; 09-18-2017 at 03:21 AM..
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Old 09-18-2017, 04:24 AM
 
Location: Deep Dirty South
5,189 posts, read 5,338,397 times
Reputation: 3863
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
You'll never convince me that chivalry is dead, or should be!
Not as long as I draw breath, good sir! I will gladly carry that mantle, or try, bygod.
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Old 09-18-2017, 06:22 AM
 
437 posts, read 336,408 times
Reputation: 483
For me its friends first with a girl. Which possibly can lead to romance.

I like to talk, chat, laugh and form a bond and friendship first before any romance.

Im Not just into hooking up without that. Im 30 btw.

But like someone else said everyone is different.
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Old 09-18-2017, 07:16 AM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,758,476 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayden87 View Post
For me its friends first with a girl. Which possibly can lead to romance.

I like to talk, chat, laugh and form a bond and friendship first before any romance.

Im Not just into hooking up without that. Im 30 btw.

But like someone else said everyone is different.
All I can is you may as well build up a house in the friendzone because you will be there a long time. With a girl I like, it's romance or no chance, no friends.
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Old 09-18-2017, 07:22 AM
 
437 posts, read 336,408 times
Reputation: 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
All I can is you may as well build up a house in the friendzone because you will be there a long time. With a girl I like, it's romance or no chance, no friends.
Im not worried if shes only a friend.

All i need is one at a time for romance. Even one every year or two. Im not a guy that needs to be screwing a new girl every week to be happy.
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Old 09-18-2017, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,398 posts, read 14,673,179 times
Reputation: 39507
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76 View Post
I believe we were talking about not devaluing women that don't put out, not devaluing women that do put out. That would be two different discussions, yes/no? If a guy didn't devalue a woman for not putting out how is that bad? That would seem honorable to me.
I would say don't devalue women for their sexual choices, period full stop.

If you encounter one who seems too free with her favors and you have concerns about health, then either pass on her respectfully or ask for testing. Don't call her names over it. If you want a "hookup" then negotiate that at the beginning, don't be deceptive, and if she isn't down for that, then try your luck elsewhere. If you want a relationship and like to "woo" a woman, then look for a woman who wants to be wooed.

I don't think that tying a woman's value to whether she wants the same things at the same pace as a man who is interested in her, is something we need to be doing at all these days. Being on the same page about where a thing is going and at what pace is a simple matter of compatibility or lack thereof, not values or morals.

The only thing I guess I find kind of annoying about the concept of "wooing" someone, is that I prefer honesty, and pulling apart the various aspects of a relationship thing and talking about them...not just assuming that the package deal you're after is "how it's done" and not gaming somebody to get what you want. I dislike the assumptions and deceptions all too common to the "game" of dating. I don't need the process to be shrouded in mystery and unknowns, to make it more fun, or whatever. I don't want to deal with men who profess love just to get laid, or who come in with a spirit of fun and adventure only to want to get all possessive and try to put me on "Serious Relationship Lockdown" even if I've clearly said I'm not trying to do that, just because that's what THEY want. And sure, my whole "cards on the table" routine has spooked some guys who think I'm too forward or who need to chase a shy little bunny across a meadow, but that just tells me we're not playing the same game. We are not compatible, good luck and have a nice day.

But then some folks seem to live for opportunities to devalue others, for whatever reason. I don't waste my time wringing my hands over their opinions, and I don't lose any sleep for not being able to please everyone.
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Old 09-18-2017, 11:02 AM
 
276 posts, read 178,858 times
Reputation: 478
Why not both!!!
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Old 09-18-2017, 12:32 PM
 
1,519 posts, read 1,337,025 times
Reputation: 2183
I prefer old fashioned romance - love letters,rides through the woods,dancing under the stars,hooking up is definately not for me,and it all just reminds me of everything I dislike about our nothing is sacred,everything is disposable culture.I find it very empty.
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Old 09-18-2017, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Deep Dirty South
5,189 posts, read 5,338,397 times
Reputation: 3863
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayden87 View Post
For me its friends first with a girl. Which possibly can lead to romance.

I like to talk, chat, laugh and form a bond and friendship first before any romance.

Im Not just into hooking up without that. Im 30 btw.

But like someone else said everyone is different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayden87 View Post
Im not worried if shes only a friend.

All i need is one at a time for romance. Even one every year or two. Im not a guy that needs to be screwing a new girl every week to be happy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiethegreat View Post
I prefer old fashioned romance - love letters,rides through the woods,dancing under the stars,hooking up is definately not for me,and it all just reminds me of everything I dislike about our nothing is sacred,everything is disposable culture.I find it very empty.
Hear, hear! These posts do my heart good.
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Old 09-18-2017, 03:41 PM
 
Location: Jacksonville
2,822 posts, read 1,929,778 times
Reputation: 3074
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
All I can is you may as well build up a house in the friendzone because you will be there a long time. With a girl I like, it's romance or no chance, no friends.
Quoted for truth. Forget the chance of keeping yourself in the friend zone, you risk the chance of someone else asking them out before you do. Then you miss out on something that could have been, because you felt like you had to be ''Friends first''. I think it's okay to date someone who you were friends with first. I just think it's stupid to become friends first, in order to date someone. That's one of the lamest concepts, ever.
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