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Imo, most feminists that I've met so far are single because their position makes most guys uncomfortable especially if it's someone who is extreme. My wife knows several feminists in her Facebook connections and they're all single.
Imo, most feminists that I've met so far are single because their position makes most guys uncomfortable especially if it's someone who is extreme. My wife knows several feminists in her Facebook connections and they're all single.
Oh okay, I see what you're saying, "those feminists" are single because guys don't want them, it's not their choice.
Oh okay, I see what you're saying, "those feminists" are single because guys don't want them, it's not their choice.
Well, at least he didn't say they also all wear their hair short/wear men's clothes/"let themselves go"/drive Priuses/voted for Hillary/no makeup/no bras/dine at the y
But anecdotal stuff just provides such compelling information.
I find it unfortunate that when men wish to discuss feminism they often want to go by their own interpretation and then attack that strawperson.
I live in a rare, liberal community. Most women I know are feminists. Many are married or in long term relationships. The men range from burly outdoorsmen to bookish intellectuals. They support equal rights for women, which is essentially what feminism is all about.
Imo, most feminists that I've met so far are single because their position makes most guys uncomfortable especially if it's someone who is extreme. My wife knows several feminists in her Facebook connections and they're all single.
Well some are more vocal about feminism, and seem to have a chip on their shoulder about it. The ones I have dated that were like this wanted to turn me into a Metrosexual, and I didn't want any part of that. These were also women that lived in, and loved the inner city, which also isn't me. Just my experience though, and I don't think we can generalize.
Rugged type. Aren't most women feminists? Some have low self esteem and don't think they deserve equality? The ones who don't want to to be treated fairly, they might like pretty boy /girly men?
Hmmm...
In response to your first question? In a word: No.
In a recent poll, 85% of American believe in gender equality, but only 18% identify as feminists. A quick google search leads to tons of articles discussing this, such as:
Probably the most reasonable explanation? Perhaps a lot of people, including women feel that what began as a necessary movement for social justice has achieved a lot of its goals, and has now turned into something more radical.
Here's a brief exaggerated and humorous video made by Youtuber Julie Borowski illustrating the difference now and then:
The point of all of this, is that in the mid to late 2010s, with words and statements, that include:
"Check your privilege"
"stop mansplaining"
"dismantle the patriarchy and toxic masculinity"
One can easily conclude that it might be best overall to be more unisex/metro/pretty boy/ambiguously gay, etc.
All these talking points run contrary to things like "confidence is sexy", men taking the initiative, and "lumbersexuals"
Again, yes I believe in absolute freedom, and never to generalize. Which I guess I'm guilty of. But once anyone suggests that men as a whole need to be re-educated, and sexism, misogyny, harassment, etc. as opposed to only the responsibility of those men actually committing these acts or institutions (such as Hollywood) that are perpetuating this, then it only invites a counter-generalization.
Bottom line: If "dismantling gender roles" and "dismantling the patriarchy" "smash rape culture" and "mansplaining" are all things to be taken seriously, then these have to be
1. VERY SPECIFICALLY defined, and if they aren't very specifically defined then either:
A. Then the message is understandably to men: be more like women (hey I'm open minded)
B. No, all this postmodern, 21st century gender studies has it wrong. Lets go back to late 20th century definitions of all this stuff that everyone understands and agrees upon.
21st century, 3rd wave contemporary feminism - the kind that is confusing, complexes, and feels scapegoating and that might make a guy want to go in a more metrosexual, ambiguously gay, unisex route:
actually use words like mansplaining, manspreading, partriarchy, toxic masculinity, rape culture, identify with the women's march on inauguration with the pink hats, think Lena Dunham, Amy Schumer, and Samantha Bee are funny, statements like "the future is female" etc.
2nd wave/70s feminism the kind that I'm 100% have always been supportive of, the kind that makes sense to me, and is not hostile:
you know that women can do anything, baby boomer feminists like Christina Hoff Sommers and Camille Paglia. This kind of feminism would like upon former late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in the 80s as the epitome of a strong woman and would make unequivocally clear that majority Muslim countries are where REAL misogyny.
Thoughts?
Facts: the terms "patriarchy" and "rape culture" were very much part of 2nd wave feminism. Pick up some old Ms. Magazines, if you can find any. The term "rape culture" back then referred, in part, to the fact that it was "just the way things are", when the boss would chase his secretary around his desk. This type of scene was included on the cartoon page in the newspapers, and in films, and was considered funny. That much has changed, at least, thanks to 2nd-wave feminism. We're seeing the last bit of it being rooted out as we speak, with the "me too" movement. Weinstein even defended himself, when the revelations first came out, by saying that he came up through the ranks in the industry back when having sex with hopeful job applicants was considered men's prerogative, so gee, it's not his fault that society changed at some point, halfway through his career.
You're putting Maggie on a pedestal? You're not aware that she was a female Ronald Reagan? Oh, I get it...you think that's a good thing.
The idea that men, along with women, could cast off the straight jackets of stereotypical gender behavior expected of them started with 2md-wave feminism. Those feminists believe, as feminists still do, that "women's lib" should also be "men's lib".
OP, your definitions are your impressions only--your poorly-informed impressions.
Feminists still have their base animal urges in place which take priority over any societal programming they have. They're ultimately going to want a man that's more confident, edgy, funny, etc. than they are. They might not go for the men who are quite as overconfident, loud, overbearing (and obnoxious imo haha) Mostly it just comes down to stimulating their emotions and giving them new experiences and fresh perspectives. As mentioned by meta, women of this sort will be attracted towards the artists, musicians, hippies, etc. but a lot of women are.
If you are not confident or interesting, they are not really going to love you in the way you want to be loved, in most cases. This has always been my problem. I'm the logical stock broker type who doesn't have a lot of interesting stories to tell that draw at her passions. haha. I suppose I could just make them up like a lot of people do. I was raised to be honest, but most of society really isn't that honest, and there are various levels of honesty, some more harmful than others.
I find this to be a strange idea. Many women enjoy being confident, edgy and funny, and would like to have a SO who appreciates that side of them. Just finding someone who will listen to, and enjoy, a woman's banter, her quirky stories about adventures, amusing or unusual people she dealt with at home or abroad, or her work achievements, is one of the Holy Grails for many women. IDK about women looking for men who outdo them in that regard. I've never heard of that. Do women like funny guys? Definitely. Who doesn't appreciate someone who can make you laugh? And how many times has it been said on this very forum, that men look for confident women? Countless times.
And Joe Stockbroker type, don't worry! You don't have to be her court jester. There are women out there just looking for a solid, reliable, easygoing guy. A slow-and-steady-wins-the-race kind of guy, not a flamboyant Bugs Bunny. There are all types out there, with all kinds of preferences. You just have to find the right one for you, or--she has to find you, and catch you off guard, since you're convinced that your type isn't in demand by anyone. It happens. More than a few married couples started out that way.
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