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I married someone who looks strikingly like my father. I'm not sure I would qualify either one as rugged or a pretty boy. They're both somewhere in the middle.
I haven't posted in awhile, but I'm curious to hear insights.
For those of you women out there on this forum, especially (though not limited to) who to whatever extent identify with modern 21st century feminist viewpoints, I'm curious to hear your thoughts:
If you identify with the current 21st century third wave feminism (as opposed to classic 2nd wave/70s feminism see below for how I see the differences) . . . do you tend to be more attracted pretty boys vs rugged guys?
I fully respect anyone's personal preference without question however I tend to see aspiring to be a pretty boy (taking the advice
Whereas I see women who are libertarian/conservative women (see below for explanation) are basically truly giving their blessing to men to be manly and rugged.
I think society expecting men to cultivate certain more traditionally feminine qualities (such as being empathetic over being rational, being a team player vs being independent) but not in other ways (still wanting confidence in a man, and that men shouldn't be pretty/flamboyant or "peacock" with their appearance) just feels . . . controlling, confusing, and manipulative to me.
Now for my footnotes. And please understand that these are generalization not meant to categorize women, I'm actually all for individualistic minded women who don't follow any particular package of views:
21st century, 3rd wave contemporary feminism - the kind that is confusing, complexes, and feels scapegoating and that might make a guy want to go in a more metrosexual, ambiguously gay, unisex route:
actually use words like mansplaining, manspreading, partriarchy, toxic masculinity, rape culture, identify with the women's march on inauguration with the pink hats, think Lena Dunham, Amy Schumer, and Samantha Bee are funny, statements like "the future is female" etc.
2nd wave/70s feminism the kind that I'm 100% have always been supportive of, the kind that makes sense to me, and is not hostile:
you know that women can do anything, baby boomer feminists like Christina Hoff Sommers and Camille Paglia. This kind of feminism would like upon former late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in the 80s as the epitome of a strong woman and would make unequivocally clear that majority Muslim countries are where REAL mysogyny.
Young Libertarian/conservative women (like Youtubers Julie Borowski or Roaming Millennial) - they make me feel good to be a man.
who basically believe that feminism has largely achieved its goals, that sexism and misogyny is a result of INDIVIDUAL sexist jerks, and not at all institutional anymore, and that one should look outside western nations, particularly Middle East and Africa if one is to be sincere about helping to empower women
Bottom line: Hearing modern feminist talking points, make me think: well lets just switch gender roles then, I'm not going to sort this all out - make me want to be "pretty"/flamboyant. Libertarian/conservative women inspire to bring out my more masculine side.
Thoughts?
If I had a woman use any of those words, i would not date them. I want to date a woman, not someone who has made themselves into a professional victim.
I've been told I have pretty boy looks, and I can see that. A lot of the women who went for me were non-feminists, I would say, but not sure if it was cause of my pretty boy looks. Probably something in my personality that they were attracted to.
I've been told I have pretty boy looks, and I can see that. A lot of the women who went for me were non-feminists, I would say, but not sure if it was cause of my pretty boy looks. Probably something in my personality that they were attracted to.
How would you define that? Not being cutesy, just curious.
Someone who listens and tries to understand, without feeling like they have to solve whatever my problem is because their job is to fix me. As a starter suggestion. Those two things:
1. listens
2. tries to understand
By the way, I don't like pretty boys. I don't even like boys. I go for adults. Just the way I swing. And you want to know what's sexy? Intelligence, compassion, and the ability to be present in the moment.
I've been told I have pretty boy looks, and I can see that. A lot of the women who went for me were non-feminists, I would say, but not sure if it was cause of my pretty boy looks. Probably something in my personality that they were attracted to.
I always thought it seemed like it was the other way around non-feminists usually like more rugged men. Most women are feminists though I just consider a non-feminist to be a more conservative leaning woman that doesn't really talk about it or make a big deal out of it.
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