do feminists prefer pretty boys over rugged guys? why or why not? (women, love)

[Tex?Il?]

I haven't posted in awhile, but I'm curious to hear insights.

For those of you women out there on this forum, especially (though not limited to) who to whatever extent identify with modern 21st century feminist viewpoints, I'm curious to hear your thoughts:

If you identify with the current 21st century third wave feminism (as opposed to classic 2nd wave/70s feminism see below for how I see the differences) . . . do you tend to be more attracted pretty boys vs rugged guys?

I fully respect anyone's personal preference without question however I tend to see aspiring to be a pretty boy (taking the advice

Whereas I see women who are libertarian/conservative women (see below for explanation) are basically truly giving their blessing to men to be manly and rugged.

I think society expecting men to cultivate certain more traditionally feminine qualities (such as being empathetic over being rational, being a team player vs being independent) but not in other ways (still wanting confidence in a man, and that men shouldn't be pretty/flamboyant or "peacock" with their appearance) just feels . . . controlling, confusing, and manipulative to me.


Now for my footnotes. And please understand that these are generalization not meant to categorize women, I'm actually all for individualistic minded women who don't follow any particular package of views:


21st century, 3rd wave contemporary feminism - the kind that is confusing, complexes, and feels scapegoating and that might make a guy want to go in a more metrosexual, ambiguously gay, unisex route:

actually use words like mansplaining, manspreading, partriarchy, toxic masculinity, rape culture, identify with the women's march on inauguration with the pink hats, think Lena Dunham, Amy Schumer, and Samantha Bee are funny, statements like "the future is female" etc.

2nd wave/70s feminism the kind that I'm 100% have always been supportive of, the kind that makes sense to me, and is not hostile:

you know that women can do anything, baby boomer feminists like Christina Hoff Sommers and Camille Paglia. This kind of feminism would like upon former late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in the 80s as the epitome of a strong woman and would make unequivocally clear that majority Muslim countries are where REAL mysogyny.

Young Libertarian/conservative women (like Youtubers Julie Borowski or Roaming Millennial) - they make me feel good to be a man.

who basically believe that feminism has largely achieved its goals, that sexism and misogyny is a result of INDIVIDUAL sexist jerks, and not at all institutional anymore, and that one should look outside western nations, particularly Middle East and Africa if one is to be sincere about helping to empower women



Bottom line: Hearing modern feminist talking points, make me think: well lets just switch gender roles then, I'm not going to sort this all out - make me want to be "pretty"/flamboyant. Libertarian/conservative women inspire to bring out my more masculine side.

Thoughts?

[Metaphysique]

Ignoring your spiel on feminism, "rugged" has never been my thing, even when I was conservative and libertarian, but neither was "pretty boy" or whatever you term it, my type. The men I've dated long term have similar personality types (INFP and INTP) with mild-mannered and relaxed demeanor with particularly nerdy and geeky traits and characteristics. They're the studious types and most aren't sports enthusiasts (bank geeks, artists, writers, musicians/instrumentalists, etc.) I admire empathy and compassion alongside rational and logical. I wouldn't have taken an interest in a man who didn't exhibit these necessary attributes, and a host of others. My husband isn't rugged by any means, nor is he a "pretty boy," he's just who he is, empathetic, compassionate, kindhearted, sincere, logical, rational, nerdy/geeky, hopeful romantic, independent, dependable, affectionate, etc.

And would make a good Batman/Bruce Wayne and kick ass doing it. Move over Affleck.

[sholomar]

Feminists still have their base animal urges in place which take priority over any societal programming they have. They're ultimately going to want a man that's more confident, edgy, funny, etc. than they are. They might not go for the men who are quite as overconfident, loud, overbearing (and obnoxious imo haha) Mostly it just comes down to stimulating their emotions and giving them new experiences and fresh perspectives. As mentioned by meta, women of this sort will be attracted towards the artists, musicians, hippies, etc. but a lot of women are.

If you are not confident or interesting, they are not really going to love you in the way you want to be loved, in most cases. This has always been my problem. I'm the logical stock broker type who doesn't have a lot of interesting stories to tell that draw at her passions. haha. I suppose I could just make them up like a lot of people do. I was raised to be honest, but most of society really isn't that honest, and there are various levels of honesty, some more harmful than others.

[rocky1975]

Women want men who are better than them.

[Chowhound]

These attemps to put people in certain boxes based on some general ideas never really work well. People like what they like, Idealogies aside.

[TabulaRasa]

My husband is probably on the rugged end. My ex was pretty metro. I have no type.

[Harpaint]

It's the total package that matters, not just one thing. Besides, I've known several guys who may qualify as pretty boys facially, but physique, carriage, and interests were pretty rugged.

[ellie]

I like men who vote left of center.

[Mikala43]

I've never really had a "type."

[RbccL]

Rugged type. Aren't most women feminists? Some have low self esteem and don't think they deserve equality? The ones who don't want to to be treated fairly, they might like pretty boy /girly men?
Hmmm...