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I doubt the person will be devastated if you don't call them again for a second date. People in the dating scene, who have been at it long enough, get used to that.
I've casual dated my friend Patty occasionally since the 1980's when I wasn't in a long term relationship. I've stayed at her house a couple times. We've been on ski trips together. She was out sailing on my boat a couple years ago. We're long time friends but I have no real attraction. Too bad. She made $25 million in the Dot.Com bubble and I'm sure that is a much bigger pile now.
The handful of dates I've been on were mostly to get my well-intentioned, if somewhat deluded, friends off my back. Coming back for more would have made a mockery of my 'I told you it wouldn't work, now stop bugging me' response.
The one that didn't fit that category happened thanks to an OLD profile I put up for research purposes with no intention of actually dating. I made it as long winded and pompous as I could and didn't expect any response. When I got one it caught me me so far off guard that I couldn't talk or outright lie my way out of it. The resulting lunch was like pulling teeth. I made sure to lose her number immediately afterwards.
The handful of dates I've been on were mostly to get my well-intentioned, if somewhat deluded, friends off my back. Coming back for more would have made a mockery of my 'I told you it wouldn't work, now stop bugging me' response.
The one that didn't fit that category happened thanks to an OLD profile I put up for research purposes with no intention of actually dating. I made it as long winded and pompous as I could and didn't expect any response. When I got one it caught me me so far off guard that I couldn't talk or outright lie my way out of it. The resulting lunch was like pulling teeth. I made sure to lose her number immediately afterwards.
Hehehe, thats a good one. C'mon, we all know youre looking for love. You dont have to lie to kick it in here.
I'm not do or die on instant chemistry. All I am looking for in terms of appearance is not to be repulsed. If I like someone as a person, the bar for physical attractiveness is fairly low. If you have respectable hygiene and aren't obese, I was likely to try to get to know you better.
The kind of guy who wouldn't get a second date (if he asked) would be one where the first meeting revealed significant dishonesty or character issues. One guy hit it out of the park in terms of the first meet being something other than the stereotypical coffee, and we moved on to a nice meal that wasn't initially planned for.... but when I did my due diligence and found he'd lied about his age, I was done. Another who had cheated on his wife, but made a ton of excuses for it? Nope.
I occasionally was a sucker if character issues weren't revealed until a physical attraction had already developed. So I do take it slow physically, because I know my weaknesses in that area. I have probably been dumped because I wait on a man to make the first move, and I haven't yet done third date sex. Oh well... I need to protect myself emotionally. Someone who valued me for more than just sex would wait.
As far as the paying for dates angle? If I was meeting for an initial coffee, I made it a point to arrive early and get my beverage before my date arrived. I would generally let him pick up the check on a date after that, if there was one. But I would grab the check on the next meeting, as a rule. I wasn't dating for free meals, I wanted to find someone to stay home with.
My current SO was a chatterbox on that first meet. But I'd noticed he was reading an author I liked, and he was man enough to admit his verbosity was due to nerves, so we met again.... and again... and I was repeatedly impressed by how real and honest he was, even if he was a little rough around the edges. I stopped seeing anyone else within a couple weeks. The manner in which he expressed interest in continuing to see me wasn't based on my appearance (which he made clear he liked, but not to an obnoxious extent) but on things we had in common, activity-wise.
So far, so good. I'm glad I gave him a second chance after he yammered on and on that first meeting.
I wanted to write something with a similar vibe. They say everyone does a sex monster story eventually and I figured I was due, but first I needed to gather some information on how to make it work in the age of OLD. On my mother's life that's all I had in mind. What you romantic types would call 'success' never occurred to me. Heaven knows the legions of functionally illiterate single parents' profiles I came across was punishment enough.
I wanted to write something with a similar vibe. They say everyone does a sex monster story eventually and I figured I was due, but first I needed to gather some information on how to make it work in the age of OLD. On my mother's life that's all I had in mind. What you romantic types would call 'success' never occurred to me. Heaven knows the legions of functionally illiterate single parents' profiles I came across was punishment enough.
Lol, Im not good with dating profiles, because I never really dated online.
As for X-Files, Ive watched a dozen episodes in the past and even saw the movie, Lol.But I'm no fan However, my family, specifically my brothers are staunch X-files fans and was reminding me (via emails) this afternoon that the new X-flies starts 2moro, yada yada cigarette man, etc, Lol I told them Id program the DVR
No new X-Files on free to air TV in Australia unfortunately. I shall have to resort to unofficial channels for my fix.
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However, my family, specifically my brothers are staunch X-files fans and was reminding me (via emails) this afternoon that the new X-flies starts 2moro, yada yada cigarette man, etc, Lol I told them Id program the DVR 
