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Agree 200%! He doesn't want to lose this "hot young thing". Once again as I already said in here, I wish men would all stop thinking that just because a woman's older, doesn't mean she's better.
What you've written doesn't make sense. Just because a woman's older, doesn't mean she's better? Maybe you meant just because a woman is YOUNGER, doesn't mean she's better?
For starters, I am 44 and my girlfriend is 25. And have been together for 10 months. We met online and at first everything was great, we did fun activities together, had great conversations, had great chemistry, etc etc. She moved in with me and things were fine... At first.
I have helped her with some things, some of which many may consider excessive. For example, her car was having some bad engine trouble so I bought her a new car, she didn't have much so I have bought her some clothes, jewelry, etc. I have also helped pay her tuition as she is trying to get a veterinary degree and since she had a crappy phone that was bad and constantly had problems, I bought her the new iPhone X. She always seemed appreciative of it all. But three weeks ago she got fired from her wal mart job, for not coming in and had used all her sick days.
She has said she has been looking but I haven't seen her go to any interviews or anything like that and she keeps telling me that she is still looking. Meanwhile she spends most of her time on her phone, talking with friends, watching youtube/Netflix etc.
When I ask her how her job hunt is going she gets defensive. Yet she has asked me to buy her new clothes and such. We still do things together, including sex which is pretty good I wont lie, I still feel as if she is taking advantage of me.
To be blunt, there's cheaper ways to do what you are doing.....it is called trips to Brazil, The Dominican Republic and Tijuana, Mexico.
What you've written doesn't make sense. Just because a woman's older, doesn't mean she's better? Maybe you meant just because a woman is YOUNGER, doesn't mean she's better?
He's not "allowing" it, as if she started it. He volunteered for it; he set the tone of the relationship, himself. Or so he tells us, anyway. Who knows; maybe she kicked the whole thing off by complaining strategically about her car, then her phone, being unreliable, or the car chronically needing repairs, or something. Maybe this is how she supports herself. She sure doesn't support herself by working at Wal-Mart. They don't even guarantee their cashiers full-time work. They cut back their hours with no notice, from time to time.
Sure he is allowing it. You set boundaries in relationships. I don't know the specifics of this one but I would never allow something like this to be part of my lifes dynamic. There's 2 girls I'll give and spend money on in my life (currently) and I raised them. He strikes me as being resentful of the situation, he should know what the situation is and know what to do about it. This thing has been dragging on too. WTH? This stuff is weird.
he should know what the situation is and know what to do about it. This thing has been dragging on too. WTH? This stuff is weird.
It's been dragging on because the OP stopped dropping by a while ago, but posters keep replying to the thread. And before that, he wasn't responding to the difficult questions.
True most would not but 44 year old males can be very sexy and very enticing.
He did mention she came from a very dysfunctional upbringing and this can set her apart from her peers and cause her to be attracted to an older male. Perhaps she subconsciously views him as a father figure that she never had and keeps that part separate from her romantic relationship with him...that is if it's even romantic and just not purely sexual in nature.
Since the OP won't give me the time of day with respect to answering my questions we can only speculate and to me that's a waste of time.
OP can you please answer my questions? I am not here to chew you up and spit you out for whatever answers you provide.
Is she still attending classes?
How does she treat you on a daily basis?
Does she seem truly happy to see you when you come home?
Does she want to engage with you as a romantic partner?
Does she clean or help with the cooking or any house chores?
Do you see patterns of behavior that indicate she's still affected by her dysfunctional upbringing?
To answer your questions:
1. Yes.
2. Pretty well, if a little distant.
3. More or less.
4. Depends what you mean.
5. Every now and then when I ask.
6. Her depression which she takes medicine for.
1. Yes.
2. Pretty well, if a little distant.
3. More or less.
4. Depends what you mean.
5. Every now and then when I ask.
6. Her depression which she takes medicine for.
Thanks for the responses.
What I meant on question 4 is: Does she initiate loving touches/hug's/intimacy?, do you see signs that she shares with her friends that she's into you romantically or introduces you to them as her romantic partner? Does she surprise you with romantic home meals? Does she enjoy dates with you?
Why do you think she treats you distant? What do you by that. I would imagine all of my questions above are "no" based on her showing distance when you come home for the day.
This is such an old saying but it's true...you can never be in a healthy love with someone when you are not happy yourself. If she is taking meds for her depression she has a lot of inner work to do and being in a "romantic" relationship is not the best approach to work on depression.
1. Yes.
2. Pretty well, if a little distant.
3. More or less.
4. Depends what you mean.
5. Every now and then when I ask.
6. Her depression which she takes medicine for.
Trust your gut instinct, she is absolutely using you. Dump her on the street before days end.
Yeah, that will be the day. He needs to.
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