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Strangely I celebrate V-Day almost every day of the year EXCEPT on Feb 14. Your SO shouldn't only be celebrated one day of the year, plus easier to eat in on V-Day since everyone is out trying to make up for the rest of the year that they don't profess their love.
The distinction is that no one is forcing MEN to put forth expense or effort in most families' Thanksgivings. Since the women do it, no one in fact does it, it just magically happens while the real humans are watching football.
$20 worth of chocolate, oh, howl to the heavens. $100+ worth of food, a day (or two) worth of cooking, and doing the dishes like a dozen times...invisible. Because it ain't their problem. So hey. No expectations. No gifts. Wonderful holiday! Magical!
Generalization much? I make a killer smoked turkey and my bacon maple brussels are nothing to sneeze at.
It ranks well below most of the holidays in terms of expense and no one else is receiver of gifts and no one person is expected or pressured to give.
It is a family affair.
Its been said many times... It's the expectations that kills V-day.
The pressures and commercialization occurs right after starting with black Friday and cyber Monday which sucker consumers into the worst one.. Christmas holidays.
Thanksgiving ranks BELOW in expense?
Have you ever actually "done" the T-giving yourself?
As I said...there are TONS of expectations of Thanksgiving. It is supposed to be a Norman Rockwell affair and "images" all over the froggin' media leap at us everywhere. We are supposed to love an honor even people we otherwise avoid all year. Not to be gross about it but there are people who cook T-giving and Xmas every year for people who molested them as children. Who beat them. For kids who say "I hate you" the rest of the year...these holidays are notorious for dysfunction but forcing oneself to try to "make" them perfect anyway. Be. Cause. Expectations. If you, the holiday cook, maid and organizer, screw it up then woe is you, it "only comes once a year" and you failed, go to your corner. We all know this, come on now. You see "the media" push as well as anyone else does. Every single year.
Again, as I said, I love doing T-giving. But like most people I know, I have to start at least a week in advance, fight other people for a reasonably priced turkey and a thousand trimmings, start cooking a couple days in advance as I don't have a separate convection oven, clean the entire house top to bottom for company, sit across from my mother-in-law who will once again get in a thousand snarks, serve everyone, then wash dishes and clean up after all the guests for a couple of hours.
"The pressures of commercialization..." Hey wait. Can we say "Thanksgiving and Christmas season" again? It's the ONE time of year where you "come together" and if you screw it up woe is you.
The difference if there is one, is that some of us try to make these holidays wonderful anyway. Yeah. That's right. For other people. At our own expense and a HUGE amount of effort. Just to make people besides ourselves smile. Imagine that! On this thread, a group of got-yer-back dudes are complaining that the ONE holiday is one they just won't bother with. I'll bet they'll sit down to a meal that took two weeks to plan and cook and will need cleaning up ater, though. 'Cause yeah. THAT'S meaningful.
Right? It hit me reading that post that the only people for whom Thanksgiving has "no expectations" are the people not expected to purchase ingredients for and prepare a multi-course meal for a large group.
Speak for yourself... Cooking is a hobby of mine and I always bring food. The family contributes to the table. People aren't measured against the gifts they carry.
It isn't Men giving to Women. It is family giving to family.
Have you ever actually "done" the T-giving yourself?
As I said...there are TONS of expectations of Thanksgiving. It is supposed to be a Norman Rockwell affair and "images" all over the froggin' media leap at us everywhere. We are supposed to love an honor even people we otherwise avoid all year. Not to be gross about it but there are people who cook T-giving and Xmas every year for people who molested them as children. Who beat them. For kids who say "I hate you" the rest of the year...these holidays are notorious for dysfunction but forcing oneself to try to "make" them perfect anyway. Be. Cause. Expectations.
Again, as I said, I love doing T-giving. But like most people I know, I have to start at least a week in advance, fight other people for a reasonably priced turkey and a thousand trimmings, start cooking a couple days in advance as I don't have a separate convection oven, clean the entire house top to bottom for company, sit across from my mother-in-law who will once again get in a thousand snarks, serve everyone, then wash dishes and clean up after all the guests for a couple of hours.
"The pressures of commercialization..." Hey wait. Can we say "Thanksgiving and Christmas season" again? It's the ONE time of year where you "come together" and if you screw it up woe is you.
The difference if there is one, is that some of us try to make these holidays wonderful anyway. On this thread, a group of got-yer-back dudes are complaining that the ONE holiday is one they just won't bother with. I'll bet they'll sit down to a meal that took two weeks to plan and cook and will need cleaning up ater, though. 'Cause yeah. THAT'S meaningful.
Nice try... But i still disagree. And I do cook..
Most stats either show Thanksgiving is not ranked in expense or clumped in with xmas and winter.
You just arguing now... It's the expectation of men and women in set roles that you fail to comprehend.
Typical... Some one observes or questions. People make a response... And you spend a ton of effort telling them how they are wrong.
I am not saying that everyone experiences Thanksgiving like I do. I simple agreed with another that it is my favorite as well.
You just arguing now... It's the expectation of men and women in set roles that you fail to comprehend.
Why do you keep saying "nice try"? Not sure what this is? Anybody who does Thanksgiving knows all this.
"Fail to comprehend" - it's the expectation of Thanksgiving that you fail to comprehend.
Nice try, usayit...but repeating yourself doesn't make your argument reasonable. "And I do cook..." The ENTIRE meal, for 15-30 people, with all the buying too, and the prep? You know. The "expectations" part? You clean the house top to bottom for company first? You arrange the table? Invite everyone?
If so and you don't consider that work or expectations, v. buying a few friggin' flowers, then it's not a case of you not understanding V-Day. It's a case of you wanting excuses not to like V-Day. I'm guessing, because as you said, your wife never once did it for you. But that's you, and that's your wife. That's not everyone, and your wanting to dislike something doesn't make your arguments reasonable. In this particular case, your assertion that there aren't expectations, expense, work, etc. to Thanksgiving is quite unreasonable. I'm sorry.
Why do you keep saying "nice try"? Not sure what this is? Anybody who does Thanksgiving knows all this.
"Fail to comprehend" - it's the expectation of Thanksgiving that you fail to comprehend.
Nice try, usayit...but repeating yourself doesn't make your argument reasonable. "And I do cook..." The ENTIRE meal, for 15-30 people, with all the buying too, and the prep? You know. The "expectations" part? You clean the house top to bottom for company first? You arrange the table? Invite everyone?
If so and you don't consider that work or expectations, v. buying a few friggin' flowers, then it's not a case of you not understanding V-Day. It's a case of you wanting excuses not to like V-Day. I'm guessing, because as you said, your wife never once did it for you. But that's you, and that's your wife. That's not everyone, and your wanting to dislike something doesn't make your arguments reasonable. In this particular case, your assertion that there aren't expectations, expense, work, etc. to Thanksgiving is quite unreasonable. I'm sorry.
However, nice try!
Again.. Typical. I am not saying that everyone has to like or experience Thanksgiving the way I do. I simply agreed with another poster that it is my favorite as well and why.
I don't agree. Simple as that. Others have similar opinions. Why can't you leave people with their own experiences and opinions alone and not make it into a reason to prove yourself right.
Speak for yourself... Cooking is a hobby of mine and I always bring food. The family contributes to the table. People aren't measured against the gifts they carry.
It isn't Men giving to Women. It is family giving to family.
The last thing I said in my "ugh Thanksgiving" post?
You have this. It is wonderful. Please do not take this for granted.
And there are men who love to cook, who really get into contributing to this holiday. Just like there are women who totally give their men gifts on Valentine's. And there are women who in fact take great joy in doing Thanksgiving, much like there are men who take joy in a special opportunity to show love to their partners.
And then there are many men who (I guess) would rather not be bothered by V-Day, yet do it anyways because they feel like if they simply DIDN'T then their partner would be upset.
And guess what? There are women (Hi!) who would really rather not spend over a hundred dollars on Thanksgiving, and work our butts off, clean the house, cook the feast, and clean up after it, while our families (who never thank us) sit around on their backsides... But we do it anyways, because we feel like if we simply STOP, then we will be judged for that.
I related what happened the one time I tried to take my family, last year, to a potluck gathering. My son gave me hell over it. Before that, my family would spend the day off on their computers or napping or watching TV (because we didn't have football fans in the house) while I worked. They'd come out to MAYBE sit and eat for half an hour, would not want to talk or smile, and would leave as quickly as possible, or they'd grab food and run off with it.
I remember living where I had extended family, I remember what it was like to get together with people who enjoy being together, who appreciate each other...I have not had that for a long, long time.
Not everyone does.
And just as Valentine's Day can feel like a bummer to those who are unhappy in love, Thanksgiving can feel miserable for those who are estranged, abused, or unappreciated by their families, or those who simply don't HAVE family.
But I promise you. Many, many women in this country work our butts off to make Thanksgiving happen, way more than men do for Valentine's, on the balance. And yes, T-G is ABSOLUTELY a contrived and made up holiday.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I don't get the "contrived and made up" holiday thing. ALL holidays are "made up" by humans. That's the way it works. Even the ones based on natural calendars (solstice, etc) are "made up" in that a society chooses to celebrate them.
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We all know this, come on now. You see "the media" push as well as anyone else does. Every single year.
It's the ONE time of year where you "come together" and if you screw it up woe is you.
