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An evening involving wine, smooth jazz, and mood enhancing elements is not corny. There's an element of romance and eroticism.
Frankly, the way you keep saying "smooth jazz" is extremely corny. But the manipulative way you describe "using a line" to "get into her place" is just disturbing:
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Originally Posted by RJ312
The classic maneuver to do this is to ask to use her bathroom. It will get you in. OP-I wouldn't recommend doing this. There are better ways than having to resort to this maneuver.
Yeah, even the word "maneuver," which means to carefully guide or manipulate (someone or something) in order to achieve an end, is objectionable. That's definitely what you were suggesting.
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Originally Posted by RJ312
If one is to use the bathroom line and successfully get into a woman's place, he would use the bathroom and then keep talking, kissing, and seeking to escalate the interaction into sex.
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Originally Posted by RJ312
A woman is to let a man know where her limits are. Men do keep pushing forward for sex. Consent needs to occur.
Well, yeah, thank goodness you included that.
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Originally Posted by RJ312
That whole scenario that the OP is planning is so stressful and not worth it.
You know why? Because it's so rapey.
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Originally Posted by RJ312
It is a better seduction scenario to start an evening. like a 2nd or 3rd date with the man inviting a woman over to his bachelor pad for a home dinner date. Light food served with a fantastic alcohol selection like a wine or a good cocktail. Then perhaps have some smooth jazz on in the background. Something instrumental and erotic. Kissing on the couch or straight back to the bedroom. That's a much more serene seduction.
I know (am pretty sure) you didn't mean it that way, but surely you see the problems with what you've written here.
I guess the thought that a "seduction scenario" needs to be spelled out is what's so weird here. If the two of them can't figure that part out, then it isn't meant to happen.
At this point, you will be so turned on by this night of dancing and lobster that you will be dying to sex me wild. But instead of taking you to my bedroom to knock boots, I will build your desire even more. I will do this by leading you to my living room, where I will light a fire and hand-feed you the finest strawberries available. If you do not enjoy strawberries, I will have other types of berries at my disposal that can be fed to you in a sexy manner. Between bites, I will offer you sips of champagne in a glass made specifically to maximize your champagne-drinking pleasure.
I guess the thought that a "seduction scenario" needs to be spelled out is what's so weird here. If the two of them can't figure that part out, then it isn't meant to happen.
We have an extreme crisis in masculinity. We have so many absent fathers. We have Baby Boomer fathers who were able to put together long lasting relationships in a time where traits that were appreciated in the 1960s and possibly early 1970s are no longer appreciated by the modern, young single woman. Men need more guidance than women perceive men need. There's an expectation among women that men need to know it all, and lopsided sex ratios in the younger singles population do not help the problem we have. Spelling things out in great detail is helpful to many men who never received guidance and are expected to know a lot.
Of course I do. I use the term female and woman interchangeably. I see your point though.
If one is to use the bathroom line and successfully get into a woman's place, he would use the bathroom and then keep talking, kissing, and seeking to escalate the interaction into sex. A woman is to let a man know where her limits are. Men do keep pushing forward for sex. Consent needs to occur.
That whole scenario that the OP is planning is so stressful and not worth it. It is a better seduction scenario to start an evening. like a 2nd or 3rd date with the man inviting a woman over to his bachelor pad for a home dinner date. Light food served with a fantastic alcohol selection like a wine or a good cocktail. Then perhaps have some smooth jazz on in the background. Something instrumental and erotic. Kissing on the couch or straight back to the bedroom. That's a much more serene seduction.
"Bachelor pad"? A la Austin Powers with a round bed and animal fur rugs? We HAVE entered the 21st century.
She insisted that it's NOT a date, thus you need to split the bill.
Totally wrong approach! If OP asks to split the bill that officially turns it into not-a-date. ThisTown, you're turning this into a battle or a contest.
If I were the OP I'd treat her to a good time, lose the bottle, be gentlemanly, try to attract her and entice her into a second date. From that a romantic relationship might evolve.
My experience is that most women feel that giving sex on the first or second date cheapens them and turns them into a tramp. That causes the woman to put the brakes on the relationship when you try to force their decision to your favor. You need to find what accelerates her interest.
The bottle is actually symbolically trying to get her inebriated so she might do something she wouldn't do otherwise. Any but a stupid woman would see through this.
We have an extreme crisis in masculinity. We have so many absent fathers. We have Baby Boomer fathers who were able to put together long lasting relationships in a time where traits that were appreciated in the 1960s and possibly early 1970s are no longer appreciated by the modern, young single woman. Men need more guidance than women perceive men need. There's an expectation among women that men need to know it all, and lopsided sex ratios in the younger singles population do not help the problem we have. Spelling things out in great detail is helpful to many men who never received guidance and are expected to know a lot.
OK, so if you're gonna take on that mantle, at least spell out details that will help and not harm.
And honestly, since you're decided to get all existential about it, to me this is a "survival of the fittest" kind of thing. If a person NEEDS it spelled out to that degree, they shouldn't be doing it.
If one is to use the bathroom line and successfully get into a woman's place, he would use the bathroom and then keep talking, kissing, and seeking to escalate the interaction into sex. A woman is to let a man know where her limits are. Men do keep pushing forward for sex. Consent needs to occur.
The more the man tries to hit her accelerator the more she feels like she has to put on her brakes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ312
That whole scenario that the OP is planning is so stressful and not worth it. It is a better seduction scenario to start an evening. like a 2nd or 3rd date with the man inviting a woman over to his bachelor pad for a home dinner date. Light food served with a fantastic alcohol selection like a wine or a good cocktail. Then perhaps have some smooth jazz on in the background. Something instrumental and erotic. Kissing on the couch or straight back to the bedroom. That's a much more serene seduction.
Good advice. Except I'd start on the couch and hope it reaches a pitch that it becomes obvious to move to the bedroom.
Find out what kind of music she likes and play HER music!!!
This may be the first time I've ever seen a topic where all the replies are 100% in agreement!
Oh, and it's nice to see so many of my friends in on this topic!
OK, so if you're gonna take on that mantle, at least spell out details that will help and not harm.
And honestly, since you're decided to get all existential about it, to me this is a "survival of the fittest" kind of thing. If a guy NEEDS it spelled out to that degree, he shouldn't be doing it.
I advised OP not to go through with the evening. I thought that he would be disappointed on many levels. I did offer some suggestions if he chose to go down his original stated path.
I agree that we have a "survival of the fittest" thing going on. Because of the lopsided ratios in the United States, other Western nations, China, and India, men need immense guidance. I fail to see why it is unpalatable for you to have men attempting to achieve self-improvement while at the same time women tend to be voracious consumers of self-improvement materials. Men should take the initiative towards helping themselves. This current environment is very male-unfriendly and men need to strive for achievement.
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