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Well, maybe, but the fact that women haven't approached him is a big red flag. By that age and with a good job, he should be generating a lot of interest- even being overweight.
Most men don't get approached by women. It's just reality nothing wrong with that.
OP, have you ever been screened for Autism Spectrum Disorder?
You seem to spend a lot of energy scientifically gathering evidence about human behavior and erroneously applying it to all scenarios. That's not how it works. Are you aware that everyone's thoughts, reactions, experiences, opinions, insights and ways of processing are vastly, VASTLY different?
Never been screened by a professional. Read a book in high school in which a character described the characteristics of Asperger's Syndrome. I remember thinking, "That sounds a lot like me." Throughout my life I've done reading on it. I've suspected I might be mildly autistic (since Asperger's is no longer a thing in psychiatric circles), but never gotten screened.
Of course I'm aware that people are different, think and feel differently, etc. For a very long time, though, I was convinced that they didn't think or feel differently about me. It took the woman who asked me on a date last year telling me that she found me interesting and sexually attractive...and then showing me physical evidence of that...for me to believe differently. (I was still extremely skeptical until 3rd base.) She was the first person who unequivocally showed me that I was capable of being attractive.
I don't have natural social skills. I've developed some for every-day friendly types of interactions. I've done that by studying, researching, observing, and practicing through trial and error. Romantic skills are even further behind because it's very rare for me to have an opportunity to practice them at all. For years all I had to base my observations on was: watching other guys have an easy time, and watching myself be miserably nervous and doubtful.
As I said, the first time a girl gave me any sort of intimate physical attention (the above incident, we were 15, went to school and church together) it went poorly for me; that was the base romantic experience for me, and I based everything after that on it, because that's how I process things that don't come naturally to me. So, when I had a girl attack-hug me and get in my bubble on a daily basis, I assumed she was being like the guys who did the same thing, trying to get a rise out of me. When another girl stroked my inner thigh when I was sitting beside her in a class, I assumed that she was just practicing...most every other girl ignored me, the first girl who appeared to be interested in me wasn't, so I didn't believe that it meant that this girl was interested in me.
Only in the last year has my thinking started to change. But I'm still 20 years behind in terms of developing these skills, with a lot of mental and emotional baggage to unpack and file away to boot. For the first time in my life I'm doing the absolute best I can at this, but it's very, very frustrating to be this far behind, to be this bad at something that everyone else has figured out years ago.
Only in the last year has my thinking started to change. But I'm still 20 years behind in terms of developing these skills, with a lot of mental and emotional baggage to unpack and file away to boot. For the first time in my life I'm doing the absolute best I can at this, but it's very, very frustrating to be this far behind, to be this bad at something that everyone else has figured out years ago.
Stop comparing yourself to other people then. It's a simple fix. Just. Stop. You have no clue what other people struggle with, and it's arrogant and ignorant to assume you do.
Maybe 'approach' is the wrong word...how about 'hit on'?
Asks you out, gives you her phone number, tries to kiss you, propositions you, etcetera.
Asks me out- Once, I’ve talked about it here already.
Gives me her phone number- Once. I was in a bad place when that happened, did nothing with it.
Tries to kiss me- Unless you count the woman who asked me out, no. Well...maybe once. High school. She had a pair of hard plastic lips in her mouth, covering up her actual lips (like a toy of some kind, the sort that might come in a fast food kid’s meal). She came up to me, very close, pointed at them and looked at me quizzingly. I thought she was joking around, maybe messing with me.
Propositions me- You mean sexually? No. Once had someone offer to find me a hookup if I wanted one. I didn’t (and don’t).
The last time I had a woman interested in me was five years ago. I’d known her in college, she worked in the same profession but in a different town. Circumstances put us together 3-4 times over the course of a few months. We exchanged numbers, texted each other job-related questions. On the occasions circumstances put us near each other we’d stick together, sit together. Got to where we’d hug hello and hug goodbye. I think she would have been receptive if I’d asked her out, but I was still in a bad place emotionally from something that had happened in college (same as when the girl had given me her number above). So, I did nothing.
To my knowledge that’s the last time anyone was willing before I was asked out last year.
Edit: And there’s my literal brain. You listed four examples, so I parsed all of my experiences through those like they were criteria.
But in this case I can’t think of anything more recent than that.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dysgenic
Maybe 'approach' is the wrong word...how about 'hit on'?
Asks you out, gives you her phone number, tries to kiss you, propositions you, etcetera.
Except for OLD, I can't recall a woman giving me her number (without me asking), or propositioning me, etc. I'm a fairly well educated, in pretty good shape dude with a advanced degree, decent job, own my own place. It's not a common thing at all.
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