Cat dilemma (kid, advice, relations, dumped)

[Levels77]

Originally Posted by canadiangirl_2015

I totally get it, I am on 3 different types of asthma inhalers just day to day, but I am lucky in that insurance covers about 70 percent of it. I know how awful it is to walk around with asthma symptoms being bad all the time.


I really think you only have two options here. The cat goes to the basement, and the son and his dad spend time down there with the cat playing video games or doing whatever they do. Or you end this relationships. It doesn't sound like getting rid of the cat is an option, and it kind of shouldn't be since this 9 year old loves the cat and would be incredibly upset ( not to mention probably hate you when you move in)

This is pretty much the bottom line. And if the dad isn't being flexible then I don't see this relationship succeeding. I'm glad she asked before getting married and selling her home.

[MisterShipWreck]

I dated my first wife for a year and a half back in the early 1990s. Her mother had 2 cats. We tried to "cat proof" one room, but it did not help. Cats are the one thing I am most allergic to over anything.

It affected my asthma horribly for about 3 years... Even after we got our own place and I quit going there.

At the time, my allergist told me that cat dander can bother a person with allergies for up to 12 years. And he said that even if you took a water hose and washed out the entire house (not something really possible), you would still have some. It will be in the a/c ducts and other places.

I was also on allergy shots at the time, but it still bothered me that much.

Now, I enter no one's home who owns a cat.

I would be careful. Even keeping the cat in 1 place will bother you.

But it is sad you are less important than the cat.

[old_cold]

Originally Posted by JerZ

This is so sad.

Can't you just get rid of the child?

Spoiler

You guys know I'm kidding.

When I told my daughter we had to get rid of the cat because of her brother's allergy, that's what she said.

[LowonLuck]

Over time you do adjust to your own cats. I rarely have issues with ours but I have flare ups when exposed to other cats.

You need a good allergy medicine

[Debsi]

My husband and I spend more than $300/month on necessary prescriptions. It sucks, but it is what it is.

If you're going to marry your fiance, you will have to put this medicine in your budget and also get the allergy shots. (I'm gathering you only have the asthma if exposed to the cat?)

I do think since you were already engaged that it was not cool of him to get a Maine Coon for his son if he knew you were allergic to cats. He should have at the very least read this article and selected one of the breeds from the list: https://www.petmd.com/cat/wellness/e...nic_cat_breeds

Is he insensitive to your needs in other ways?

[RamenAddict]

Originally Posted by LowonLuck

Agreed. We have a houseful of pets. Anyone that dates or lives with me has to accept that we are a pet household.

The OP is getting married next month. They got the cat six months ago. The medicine for the OP is $300 a month minimum plus the cost of the shots. Even with good insurance, that is usually another $1-2k a year minimum plus you need to be able to take time off work to go get shots once or twice a week during the first year. They may not work and/or the time commitment might not be feasible for the OP. I think it is unreasonable to expect that sort of commitment when they were together before the fiancé got one of the worst types of cats for people with allergies.

[Petunia 100]

Originally Posted by redplum33

I disagree. She is refusing to try the shots (they may or may not work) because it's a big time commitment, and she ruled out the prescription inhaler due to cost. IMO, the OP is being selfish.

You obviously have no experience with allergy shots, or allergies in general. As long as she is being exposed to her allergen, her body will continue to signal that it objects. Asthma is already no joke; as her reactions evolve, future symptoms may be even more severe.

And again, it will be MONTHS at best before ANY relief is possible from shots. Meanwhile, she needs to breathe.

[Petunia 100]

Originally Posted by redplum33

I don't know. And neither do you.

Wrong. Any immunologist will tell you there is no cure for allergies.

[Petunia 100]

Originally Posted by Starwars19

The house is kept reasonably clean but the cat sheds a lot . He’s a Maine coon. Not sure if the shedding is typical of the breeed.
He is on grain free food (Canidae brand)
Will try the coconut oil.
My prescription was for Symbicort (the $300 inhaler) and Albuterol and I was asked by the Dr to only use the Albuterol for emergencies and not regularly.

Symbicort did diddly squat for me; Albuterol works well in a pinch.

[Petunia 100]

Originally Posted by RamenAddict

The OP is getting married next month. They got the cat six months ago. The medicine for the OP is $300 a month minimum plus the cost of the shots. Even with good insurance, that is usually another $1-2k a year minimum plus you need to be able to take time off work to go get shots once or twice a week during the first year. They may not work and/or the time commitment might not be feasible for the OP. I think it is unreasonable to expect that sort of commitment when they were together before the fiancé got one of the worst types of cats for people with allergies.

It's not just the first year. The doctor will periodically draw blood and create new serum as your needs change over time. (Once per year is typical). Each time you begin a new serum, you are back to twice per week, then once per week, then once every two weeks, then once every four weeks.