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I am 32 year old who made some dumb mistakes in his youth that led to two fantastic boys who have recently left the nest to travel the world for 1 year before they start engineering school abroad.
So i am now dating and i am getting a lot of hits(tinder bumble etc) but the dates never lead to second dates because i am honest and let a lady know that i don't want anymore kids. I spent 19 years taking care of and raising two boys and i am sort of over that at this point, just over a year ago i got a vasectomy .
I don't want to end up alone for the rest of my life but i haven't dated in a nearly a decade so i could use some advice.
How would you best bring up the point of not wanting kids
Wait, what? You are 32 with two sons who are 19 years old? I will be honest here, you will have a hard time finding a top quality woman. The fact you have 2 twenty year old kids at your age is a huge red flag.
Most women want kids, there are some of course that don't want any. If you date a super young girl, they usually haven't felt the biological clock yet, no matter how convinced they think they are that they don't want kids they will hit their 30s and leave you because most likely they will change their minds. You can meet someone older who has their own children or has a similar history, that will be better for you. But honestly finding someone high quality, will be super hard. You will most likely need to find women most top quality men do not want. It is harsh I know, but I am just being honest here.
You're doing everything right by being honest but I'd just accept that your options are going to be fewer because 1. You have kids and 2. You don't want more. There are women out there that will be a match though, but a lot of 20 and 30-something women of childbearing years are going to want a family with someone they're dating. Like someone else said, maybe older women would be a better bet because they might have kids themselves already or they are past that point in life.
Unfortunately, I can't be shocked any more by such things. The youngest father I've met was 14 (15 tops). To be honest, I don't even think I could respect a 'dad' who could just as easily be my older 'bro' in age...... but I digress.
OP you'll find someone. I see plenty of women on OLD who are your age and say they are done having kids too. So you'll have that in common, although they may not have 'finished the task' as quickly as you did....
But if I'm a woman on a date, and I hear him state this fact about having twin 19-year olds at 32, I'm sitting there doing the math in my head and wondering what the heck was going on in his life back in the day and how those circumstances affect other parts of his personality and character.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 02-03-2019 at 04:28 PM..
Reason: Orphaned.
I dunno, two sons who are going abroad to college? As a child-free woman (and setting aside the age of the OP when "he" had the kids) I'd say not a big deal. First, fathers typically have a more laissez faire relationship with their kids and we're also talking sons, not daughters.
I'd imagine not much impact at all and there are plenty of women who don't want kids of their own. Mod cut. I'd tell him to do what everyone does with online dating - check the "don't want any kids" box and see what you get.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 02-03-2019 at 04:31 PM..
Reason: Rude and off-topic.
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