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The difference, of course, being that the other men were her choice, vs. her friend who wanted to decide *for* her who she was going to send pictures to; not to mention the weirdness of wanting nude pictures of a platonic friend. But let's not let something silly like a woman's autonomy get in the way of anything, right?
disclaimer- what I'm about to share was in my pre Christian days and I don't advocate for this sort of behavior anymore.
When I was in college and for a couple years after that, I had several female roommates. I hooked up in some way with just about all of them. So to me its very weird for a male and female roommate to not hookup/ have sex. Back then if my female roommate started talking about sending nude photos, the words wouldn't even be out of her mouth before I'd be propositioning her for sex. Do I think any of them would have been offended? No way, because it's all about attraction. If they are attracted to you, the attention is welcome and appreciated. If not, it's creepy and offensive. And that's not right.
edit to add- I do want to add a comment on women's behalf. Many times when a woman is not interested she will give clear indications of such, but nuanced social awareness like reading queues has gone the way of the dodo bird it seems. Meaning if she gives those queues and the guy still pursues, at that point I can understand the woman being offended to a degree. However, talking about nude photos is def NOT a clue that you aren't interested in someone.
Reading all the replies and then re-reading your post, maybe you should have gone with your first instinct and deleted the friend request. Anyone I don't want to reconnect with, I don't engage in the first place.
I dont think he is creepy. He is trying to reconnect. No harm in that. And who cares if he just broke up with someone and is looking for someone new. Don't we all do that?
But he is boring and he works nights and there was a reason why you did not go on a second date with him before. I would just not respond and unfriend him and block.
I had something like that happen and he reached out to me again and I did not remember either. So we went out again and it was great. Another date, also great. Then we wanted to meet in the evening, spoke in the morning, agreed on time and place and then he just vanished from earth. And then I suddenly remembered - same thing happened the first time, too. And I was angry at myself for falling for this BS again.
I dont think he is creepy. He is trying to reconnect. No harm in that. And who cares if he just broke up with someone and is looking for someone new. Don't we all do that?
But he is boring and he works nights and there was a reason why you did not go on a second date with him before. I would just not respond and unfriend him and block.
I had something like that happen and he reached out to me again and I did not remember either. So we went out again and it was great. Another date, also great. Then we wanted to meet in the evening, spoke in the morning, agreed on time and place and then he just vanished from earth. And then I suddenly remembered - same thing happened the first time, too. And I was angry at myself for falling for this BS again.
It seems he took the hint when she stopped responding to him too. This situation seems to have resolved itself.
Right, but.... men are men, regardless...getting your male room mate all horned up whilst discussing your deep sex life with him will result in consequences such as what happened here.
Not sure of the outcome, did she move out of the apartment? lol
Oh boys will be boys.
Women should have to hide who they are as to not horn up the boys (men).
Sorry, a roommate might see you naked accidently, or hear you having sex with someone, it's the nature of living in such close quarters. Gabby roommates might talk about their sex life. If you decide to room with someone you might be attracted to it is on you to behave, otherwise it is creepy. Everyone should feel safe and comfortable in their own home without having to change who they are. So guys who would hit on their female roommates because boys be boys should only live with guys OR make it clear from the beginning they are open to having some kind of thing with their female roommates.
Women should have to hide who they are as to not horn up the boys (men).
Sorry, a roommate might see you naked accidently, or hear you having sex with someone, it's the nature of living in such close quarters. Gabby roommates might talk about their sex life. If you decide to room with someone you might be attracted to it is on you to behave, otherwise it is creepy. Everyone should feel safe and comfortable in their own home without having to change who they are. So guys who would hit on their female roommates because boys be boys should only live with guys OR make it clear from the beginning they are open to having some kind of thing with their female roommates.
Well, really the dude should outright say, "Listen, this is TMI, I don't feel comfortable with you sharing this with me", so it's on her to shut up her prick-teasing conversations. She's doing it to get a rise out of him...and then acts shocked.
You're making it sound like he was overhearing the conversation, when the conversation was directly with him.
Eh conversations about sex lives should be kept to a minimum, roommates or not, and no matter the gender. If I was living with someone and I brought a guy home, it shouldn't be anything more than a "keep it down." I get feeling comfortable in your own home and being who you are, but you can be who you are without oversharing certain details about your life. I'm your roommate I can see it, but I don't care to know about it. So in my opinion, it's weird she spoke to him about that. And he should've stopped her if it was going to turn him on.
Eh conversations about sex lives should be kept to a minimum, roommates or not, etc. If I was living with someone and I brought a guy home, it shouldn't be anything more than a "keep it down." I get feeling comfortable in your own home and being who you are, but you can be who you are without oversharing certain details about your life. I'm your roommate I can see it, but I don't care to know about it. So in my opinion, it's weird she spoke to him about that. And he should've stopped her if it was going to turn him on.
You could say he could have been making a point by saying, "Show me the photos you share with your other male buds!" Probably used that as a method of shutting her up.
Well, really the dude should outright say, "Listen, this is TMI, I don't feel comfortable with you sharing this with me", so it's on her to shut up her prick-teasing conversations. She's doing it to get a rise out of him...and then acts shocked.
You're making it sound like he was overhearing the conversation, when the conversation was directly with him.
Probably saw him as no threat to hitting on her, and so when he did she was shocked and possibly offended. In my experience, a woman will talk openly about her sex life with you if she’s absolutely sure she doesn’t want you in it. I’ve had women tell me things along those lines...they weren’t interested in me, they were interested in spilling things to a “safe” friend.
Well, really the dude should outright say, "Listen, this is TMI, I don't feel comfortable with you sharing this with me", so it's on her to shut up her prick-teasing conversations. She's doing it to get a rise out of him...and then acts shocked.
You're making it sound like he was overhearing the conversation, when the conversation was directly with him.
Yes that's another option. But in real life people don't want to seem "prudish", I suppose. Or maybe he was enjoying hearing this.
I had a roommate (female) who was not quiet with her boy-friends. We would laugh about it and I could have done without it but I would have felt weird telling her to keep it down and never talk about it, she was a good roommate and pal and in the scheme of things it wasn't a big deal. I think it would have been weirder if my roommate had been male but I could handle it because it's real life and sharing the same apartment.
I don't know about teasing, I've had male friends try to get me to talk about pretty personal things, and they have told me personal things. So I've never thought talking about sex with a male friend or acquaintance was teasing, it's just talking about something. I am a private person so generally not into it, but some gabby people will talk about anything without a filter or any kind of negative intentions behind it.
It isn't an insult or trickery if a woman feels comfortable/safe talking about nude pictures to someone she trusts won't turn it into something about himself.
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