Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I’m 46 and make 42K. My marriage is pretty much nothing now but my mother says I can’t afford a divorce. Couldn’t live with them and couldn’t afford my own place. So do you just stay in an unhappy marriage for that reason? He isn’t abusive or controlling. He just never wants to do anything and makes me feel guilty about things that aren’t my fault.
You could look into what a divorce would cost what your living expenses would be on your own, rather than take your mother's word for it.
This. OP, do your own research. Who knows what your mother's motives are, for saying what she did? Maybe she fears. you'll move in with her if there's a divorce, and she likes being an empty-nester. Maybe she would be embarrassed for her social circle to know that you got a divorce. There's no way to know what she's really thinking.
Be your own person, and decide on your own what you can and can't afford.
I’m 46 and make 42K. My marriage is pretty much nothing now but my mother says I can’t afford a divorce. Couldn’t live with them and couldn’t afford my own place. So do you just stay in an unhappy marriage for that reason? He isn’t abusive or controlling. He just never wants to do anything and makes me feel guilty about things that aren’t my fault.
Did you do your own research to see if you can afford a divorce ? Rent your own place ?
You are 46 years old...grown up enough to find out that information for yourself.
I’m 46 and make 42K. My marriage is pretty much nothing now but my mother says I can’t afford a divorce. Couldn’t live with them and couldn’t afford my own place. So do you just stay in an unhappy marriage for that reason? He isn’t abusive or controlling. He just never wants to do anything and makes me feel guilty about things that aren’t my fault.
Depending on yr state & the simplicity/complexity of yr divorce you might not even need an attorney. Is it that yr mom is worried about or the actual living afterward?
Truthfully $42k is not much, @ least where I live. You can’t live on that here but possibly in some places you can. As a single person with no kids, probably do-able but with kids I don’t think so .. & if so, it won’t be easy.
But you shouldnt stay in a marriage that you’re not happy in. That makes me sad for you, OP!
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,585 posts, read 81,243,006 times
Reputation: 57825
My mother (or father) have never known how much I made, it's not something that we would ever discuss. A divorce costs money (lawyers) and the spouse that can afford the best attorney usually comes out ahead. No one can tell you whether the relationship is broken enough to justify a divorce, but if it is, there is no reason you couldn't make it on your own, as long as the divorce settlement is equitable.
Don't you have any savings? What about house equity? Generally things will be split in a divorce. Maybe you will have to live in an apartment or otherwise downsize your life. Maybe you could get a second job.
How long have you been married? You must have loved him enough to marry him. What has changed? Has he changed or are you just bored? You can do things without him. You aren't joined at the hip. What does he make you feel guilty about?
My mother (or father) have never known how much I made, it's not something that we would ever discuss. A divorce costs money (lawyers) and the spouse that can afford the best attorney usually comes out ahead. No one can tell you whether the relationship is broken enough to justify a divorce, but if it is, there is no reason you couldn't make it on your own, as long as the divorce settlement is equitable.
You dont always need an atty. i did my divorce by mail, no atty. NY state diy divorce kit - fill out paperwork, both ppl sign, mail it in & voila you’re divorced! But it only works if its uncontested, no children, no assets & both parties are in agreement - mutual divorce & it needs to fall under certain reasons such as “irreconcilable differences” … more compex divorces require attornies. Simpler ones usually not
I’m 46 and make 42K. My marriage is pretty much nothing now but my mother says I can’t afford a divorce. Couldn’t live with them and couldn’t afford my own place. So do you just stay in an unhappy marriage for that reason? He isn’t abusive or controlling. He just never wants to do anything and makes me feel guilty about things that aren’t my fault.
You are the only person who can say if your marriage is over.
You earn over twice how much I bring in and I support two of us.
I wish you luck
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
