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There is an unspoken bond here, a deep passion, a frenzied lust, and a solid serious relationship that started somewhere when we were in our 'coma stage' of life. We would have divorced each other several times, he slaps me hard on the face when I say 'divorce' and he says NO D word in this house. I love getting slapped hard by him, which he rarely ever does. It's kind of a craziness. It takes him months to forget such an episode where he hurt me.
He pampers me like crazy. I have scratched him like a wild cat all over, and he sports it as a winning badge. As crude as we can sometimes be, the relationship has everything in it. Sometimes I am his cute daughter in pink jammies, the next I am his mom feeding him, literally in his mouth, then I am the hottest thing alive. This is a crazily beautiful realtionship. So I was wondering if such relationships exist still, and everlasting, until one's last breath??
Frankly, your whole relationship sounds creepy to me. But to each her own.
Sierra, I agree with you on tons of things but not on your last post of saying it's none of our business. Then why did she even post anything? By posting here she makes it our business. She should have known that she would get the reactions she is.
Getting slapped in the face during an argument and her scratching her husband is obviously a vicious cycle of mental and physical abuse that continues and will continue and that their children are being forced to watch and endure. Something is definitely not right in that house and in those parents heads.
That relationship is NOT something to brag about at all and in fact she should be ashamed knowing she's putting her kids through that. I hope she's happy knowing that her children will probably end up in abused relationships in the future. Good job parents-set that great example for your kids. Pathetic.
She just described her marriage, himain. I don't remember her saying it's exemplary or that others should follow in her footsteps. It just happens to work for her. They're consenting adults and can do as they please in their own home. Now, you do have a point about the influence on the kids, but the children are also theirs and people raise their kids to the best of their abilities... however good their best is. I personally believe any parents short of those physically abusing their children (and no, spanking is not abuse to me) are better nurturers for their kids than CPS and the foster care system, if that's where you're going with that...
There were some folks in my former that were swingers, would get physical with one another when they were upset, had non stop drama and everyone loved them.
Somehow they seem to make it work without the children being more screwed up than anyone elses children. This is not how I want to live or how I want my children to live but somehow these two fractured people are happy. Maybe this is more normal than the way they were raised. Who knows???
It actually sounds no different than the folks who get into some of the strange sex stuff... no one judges them.
All I know is I am too lazy to have to spend time trying to cover up the bruises someone left on me. I would rather be doing other things.
Chi; this is utter BS. All of it. Physical violence and disciplining children are two very different things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by amy234
I am the wild one, swinging in wild moods. Any other man would have run away a long time back. It takes a real MAN to take care of his lady. I have driven him to that extent and I earned, because I wanted that. Anyways, I will not explain anymore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
She just described her marriage, himain. I don't remember her saying it's exemplary or that others should follow in her footsteps. It just happens to work for her. They're consenting adults and can do as they please in their own home. Now, you do have a point about the influence on the kids, but the children are also theirs and people raise their kids to the best of their abilities... however good their best is. I personally believe any parents short of those physically abusing their children (and no, spanking is not abuse to me) are better nurturers for their kids than CPS and the foster care system, if that's where you're going with that...
I can't fathom how I absolutely agree with sierra on something, but this time I do. It does not sound at ALL to me like there is either abuse occuring, or child abuse, or that the children are going to grow-up screwed-up. It's just one of those relationships that has a lot more emotion and physical elements. It's too hard in today's society to slap someone without getting slapped with a lawsuit or divorce papers, but this couple actually seems to enjoy it. More power to them? Less power to them? I say leave them alone. The poster was asking: "True to just one person? For a lifetime?" And then she went on to explain a bit about the dynamics of her long-term marriage. She likes the way it is, and she's not divorced, and both parents seem to be raising their children and loving them. Leave 'em alone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil
You folks might want to consider an alternate explanation - there are people that ENJOY physical striking, scratching, etc. I know it probably disturbs a lot of people to find that out - usually they just deny, deny, deny.
But it exists. And it works for the couple involved, IF they're honest with themselves and each other. On the journey toward a relationship, there are many possible paths, not all of which may conform to one's idealizations.
Exactly. It's a minority, but it happens. Who are we to judge what two consenting adults do in their own home? If they tie eachother up when the kids are at school and do some freaky bondage and slap-fest, that is up to them. Again, as long as she LIKES the slap here and there, I don't see how everyone has their panties in a twist.
Again, as long as she LIKES the slap here and there, I don't see how everyone has their panties in a twist.
For me, it's not so much about that. I think it's odd that she enjoys being hit and being a possession of her husbands, but whatever. I just feel bad for the kids if they have to watch this violence take place.
My real issue with you chiaroscuro is when you say things like this:
"Let's bear in mind that until recently (Think: Women's Movement), men kept their women 'in line' by yelling, and if that didn't work, then by physical force (since men are generally much stronger and meaner). Ok, so we had literally thousands of years of this as the norm."
Um - could you be any further off base? It worries me that you are under the impression that this stuff is true. The attitude towards women you display in a number of threads is a concern.
For me, it's not so much about that. I think it's odd that she enjoys being hit and being a possession of her husbands, but whatever. I just feel bad for the kids if they have to watch this violence take place.
My real issue with you chiaroscuro is when you say things like this:
"Let's bear in mind that until recently (Think: Women's Movement), men kept their women 'in line' by yelling, and if that didn't work, then by physical force (since men are generally much stronger and meaner). Ok, so we had literally thousands of years of this as the norm."
Um - could you be any further off base? It worries me that you are under the impression that this stuff is true. The attitude towards women you display in a number of threads is a concern.
Ok. I don't punch or slap women or yell at them, if anything I'm too nice. I'm just saying that women and men take for granted today the 'no touch' lifestyle which we have thanks to all the liberation that has taken place very recently. Yes, it's a good thing, and hopefully we can end all forms of violence and sexual abuse in any family. But I just want to point out that violence and abuse, though not always condoned, were generally 'behind closed doors' and not punished or even talked about. And... It's still that way in many countries, even america to an extent. Yet! Humanity has not dissolved into a bunch of frothing zombies just punching and scratching the **** out of eachother. It happens, but we have more options for victims nowadays.
It's certainly not a good thing, but I think relationships in many parts of the world and in all previous time periods, were much more physical than they are now, simply because they could be. Not every man would hit his wife or yell at her, but I'm sure it happened more often before divorce was an easy thing to acquire. I wasn't trying to shed a POSITIVE light on it, but pointing out that relationships that functioned in such a way still produced upstanding children! Even more so than today, I would reckon!
Children recognize abuse between parents. They feel bad and internalize it. UNLESS THEY DON'T RECOGNIZE IT AS ABUSE. For example in this woman's marriage, it doesn't result in her freaking out and calling the cops when her husband slaps her, she enjoys it (and I enjoy that mental image, it makes me shake my head in amazement every time). So the kids don't think "Why is mommy crying that daddy hit her?" It's more like "Mommy and daddy still love eachother and now they are hugging like crazy." As long as children are constantly loved by both parents, and they see both parents loving eachother, the details don't matter as much.
In the recently held Martial Arts Tournament, my oldest won 2nd and 3rd place Trophies.
My little one won 2nd and 3rd place trophies.
In Kumon, my 7 year old is doing 5th grade reading, and 4th grade math.
My 5 year old is doing 2nd grade Math and 3rd grade reading.
My husband is 6 ft tall, and I am 5 ft tall.
My kids don't remember one instance where dad ever even raised his voice at mom.
They have seen mom cry sometimes thinking about her childhood or missing her dad. They have all comforted me, and before I get that monthly female stuff, they all know I get a little crazy. Dad handles mom so lovingly and helps mom get through the tough times. It is a known fact that MOm is the BOSS of the house. My husbands collegues know me as my husband's original CEO. My husband recently got a promotion and a raise. My children know that after they become doctor's or scientists, they are going to get married and the stork will bring home their own babies!!! They just don't know what happens on Saturday morning at between 4 AM and 8 AM. It is our secret! shhhhhhhhh..
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