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Old 09-18-2021, 08:31 AM
 
5 posts, read 2,659 times
Reputation: 15

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Hello folks. Possible one of the most overasked qeustion, but I am genuinly interested if I should ask her out second time after first refusal?
Well baisically, she did not straight up said no. After I asked her out in a possibly the most moronic way “ hey do you want to hang out?” She replied that she was verg busy that day but eventually said yes, that we could grab a coffee or lunch together, but unfortunately that very day she wrote that she can’t meet me due to her schedule and maybe this week we could. All I said was okey, as you have free time just message me. Obviously she did not write me that week, but kept messaging me on a random things. Even to this day we have very good relationship. But the thing is, once, she refered me to, as a “friend”. I was going through a tough time and she said, I’ll be with you friend. That’s understandable that she does not see me anything more than a friend, but I want to make clear of my intentions that I like her. Now I was thinking of asking her out on a drink, not on a coffee or a lunch, but straight up for drinks and speak with her. I am just interested if it’s a good idea or not. I know first time she politely refused and I most certainly don’t want to seem like a creep, but is it worth? If she says no this time a well, well I will be certain that we will stay just “ friends”
Sorry for such long as* post and for my English
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Old 09-18-2021, 10:02 AM
 
29,513 posts, read 22,641,616 times
Reputation: 48231
Sure, you should try asking (or should I say texting) her to see if she wants to go out for drinks. If she hesitates once again and doesn't offer any alternatives, and never gets back to you about it, then you have your answer.

It's pretty obvious she sees you only as a (texting/online) friend, but if asking her out again means you'll have closure, then do it.
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Old 09-18-2021, 10:03 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,866,909 times
Reputation: 28563
Ask her is she wants to go on date. Use the word date. Do not say hang out or meet up. Make it abundantly clear what you want.
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Old 09-18-2021, 11:15 AM
 
2,967 posts, read 1,642,545 times
Reputation: 7316
Call her (or text *sigh*) and ask her if she'll go to (place) with you on (day). Specifically.

Her: Yes

You: Great! Pick you up at (time)?

Go out and have fun.

Or

Her: Oh sorry, can't, busy that night.

You: Okay

And get on with life.
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Old 09-18-2021, 11:17 AM
 
5 posts, read 2,659 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Ask her is she wants to go on date. Use the word date. Do not say hang out or meet up. Make it abundantly clear what you want.
I don’t really want to use word date at this moment really, if she agrees I’ll tell her in person as it is. I’ll ask her out
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Old 09-18-2021, 12:17 PM
 
415 posts, read 545,641 times
Reputation: 1519
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Ask her is she wants to go on date. Use the word date. Do not say hang out or meet up. Make it abundantly clear what you want.
Agreed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liuns fork View Post
I don’t really want to use word date at this moment really, if she agrees I’ll tell her in person as it is. I’ll ask her out
She is treating you as a friend right now and you need to change how she is percieving you. You are trying to figure out if this woman could see you as a potential romatic partner. You need to ask her out on a date to both clarify both your intentions and her's.
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Old 09-18-2021, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,742 posts, read 34,376,832 times
Reputation: 77099
Quote:
Originally Posted by Damnitjanet View Post
She is treating you as a friend right now and you need to change how she is percieving you. You are trying to figure out if this woman could see you as a potential romatic partner. You need to ask her out on a date to both clarify both your intentions and her's.
And she should know from the start that OP is asking her out on a date. It's not cool for her to think she's grabbing a drink with a pal, only to have him drop that his intentions were always romantic while she's sitting there. Let her know upfront so she can make an informed choice.
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Old 09-18-2021, 12:30 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,243 posts, read 52,655,546 times
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Move on. She's not intereated in in that way.
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Old 09-18-2021, 12:37 PM
 
6,863 posts, read 4,860,189 times
Reputation: 26406
Do you ever see her in real life? That would be a good time to ask her out. But have a plan. Example: I would like to try _____ restaurant. (or golfing, a movie, dog show, whatever) Would you be interested in going with me? If she says yes, the ask her what day would suit her best. If she says no, or otherwise expresses being busy forevermore, accept your spot in the friend zone.
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Old 09-18-2021, 01:13 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,395 posts, read 24,447,211 times
Reputation: 17472
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liuns fork View Post
I don’t really want to use word date at this moment really, if she agrees I’ll tell her in person as it is. I’ll ask her out
I don’t know… my future husband formally asked me on a “date”, which seemed awfully old fashioned at the time. My friends sort of swooned at the romance of it, LOL.
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