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Guys, the main thing is asking a girl out isn't to be taken so seriously or so nervously.
Girls in their twenties get asked out all the time, by men of all ages.
Without sounding cold, it does become no big deal. Women at that age are at the peak bloom of young adulthood and fertility. Men are going to be attracted to that.
So if you ask a young woman out and she says she's too busy it's probably because she's too busy and she's got a lot going on. Things at that age can get hectic.
And I'm just talking about social life. Add in school, work, and family on top of that.
So an "I'm too busy" doesn't mean a personal rejection of you necessarily, it just might mean she has no more room in her life at the moment to fit someone else in.
Yup. No guts, no glory. If you ask and are rejected at least you know you're in the friend zone. Isn't it better to be sure? If everyone is afraid of rejection how can anyone get together?
I would think asking someone to meet for drinks is pretty clear that it is more than "hanging out". Then again, I'm not in the game anymore. Thankfully! Good luck!!
Go for coffee & conversation the first couple times, find common ground and build trust at first, let the "date" happen naturally. and never underestimate the power of romance.
Send a simple bouquet of flowers and a simple card with "Thanks for a wonderful evening !" after the first date, even if you think it didn't go well. Give her a day or so to think before calling, don't text. good luck.
Well. She did agree. I am meeting with her for drinks, but as you guys suggested ( unfortunately) I did not specify that this is going to be date. But she did make it clear that this is not going to be a sort of romantic evening. Because when I made an offer, she agreed, but then suggested that we could hang with friends, and I was like no no. As I am not in a sweet spot at the moment of my life, and she knows about it, we are just going to talk about it. I am thinking, if I tell her everything as it is, I will have to tell her that I can't be an actual friend with her as I can't perceive her as one, so I will have to cut all the contacts with her. Anyway, I have no idea how things will work out, but I am pretty certain they won't work out :d
Hello folks. Possible one of the most overasked qeustion, but I am genuinly interested if I should ask her out second time after first refusal?
Well baisically, she did not straight up said no. After I asked her out in a possibly the most moronic way “ hey do you want to hang out?” She replied that she was verg busy that day but eventually said yes, that we could grab a coffee or lunch together, but unfortunately that very day she wrote that she can’t meet me due to her schedule and maybe this week we could. All I said was okey, as you have free time just message me. Obviously she did not write me that week, but kept messaging me on a random things. Even to this day we have very good relationship. But the thing is, once, she refered me to, as a “friend”. I was going through a tough time and she said, I’ll be with you friend. That’s understandable that she does not see me anything more than a friend, but I want to make clear of my intentions that I like her. Now I was thinking of asking her out on a drink, not on a coffee or a lunch, but straight up for drinks and speak with her. I am just interested if it’s a good idea or not. I know first time she politely refused and I most certainly don’t want to seem like a creep, but is it worth? If she says no this time a well, well I will be certain that we will stay just “ friends”
Sorry for such long as* post and for my English
I feel your angst, but I’ll stick my neck out and give you my thoughts based on my experience years ago.
Whether you’re a guy or a girl, attracted to whomever at whatever age… I think the worst thing you might do to make future chances worse is to force - anything. It can suck to be the friend, but I’d say - don’t give up on being the friend of someone you really like (hey, if you like them, you want them to be happy - I know, I know… it’s a real test on your part).
Please make sure you take care of yourself. Quite often dating others can bring your love interest like a moth to a flame. Just never, ever use folks. Be gallant and flirty - that’s fun… just don’t hurt anyone. There is a dance folks do. One is lovely and gracious, even when it doesn’t work out, and another that is mean, harmful and painful.
If this lovely person isn’t interested, the faster you look elsewhere, the less risk you have in being pulled into a vortex of obsession that will hurt you and the person you like.
Well, she couldn't be more clearer that she has zero romantic interest in the OP. She already told the OP she considers him a friend before, and now she specifically states that this 'date' is not going to be a romantic one.
If I were in the OP's shoes, I would just go on this 'date' and keep it simple and never ask her out again.
I would NOT lose my self-respect by telling her the classic ultimatum of rejected people: "If we can't be in a relationship, then we can't be friends and I don't want to see you again."
That's really trying to put subtle pressure on the other person to change their minds, but it never works and ends up making you look like a creep and loser. Even worse, it backfires since the other person will be more than happy to drop you like a bad habit and it further shatters the illusion and ego one had about that person.
So, to sum it up, go on this date, keep it simple, NO mention of your feelings for her or wanting to be more than friends, no ultimatums, and never ask her out again. And stop texting and contacting her (without telling her why of course), and don't think that eventually you'll win her heart.
If she has said that it should just be friends, then it has to just be friends. If you keep asking for a date, you're going to run her off and lose that friendship. However, if you have feelings for her, you may not be able to have a healthy friendship so it's probably best to just back off and don't act interested. Turn her down a time or two and see what happens.
If she has said that it should just be friends, then it has to just be friends. If you keep asking for a date, you're going to run her off and lose that friendship. However, if you have feelings for her, you may not be able to have a healthy friendship so it's probably best to just back off and don't act interested. Turn her down a time or two and see what happens.
Being "just friends" isn't bad; I met my wife through someone I dated a few times and was then "just friends" with.
If she has said that it should just be friends, then it has to just be friends. If you keep asking for a date, you're going to run her off and lose that friendship. However, if you have feelings for her, you may not be able to have a healthy friendship so it's probably best to just back off and don't act interested. Turn her down a time or two and see what happens.
It was never said to be “friendly”. It’s just she refers me to as a friend. We went for drinks, and I eventually asked her out again on which she agreed. But I may have regreted that dicision. She told absolutely everything about her in a very open way. Even told me about the person who acutally she likes and was going to date him, but turned out to be an arshole, but still kept talking about him in a present tence that she likes him. Anyway, it’s pretty obvious that I am just a friend to her. That’s why I wanted to take her out second time and tell her that I actually like her. But now I am not sure if its a right choice. It’s all going to go down in vein, telling her how I feel, won’t change a thing
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