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I agree with both of you. Also keep talking to other women and if you can arrange a date with one of them do so. The two of you are not in a committed relationship. This woman may or may not be that into you. She also may not have that much time for you. What we do know is that you seem a lot more into her than she seems into you, so emotionally back off a little and keep your options open and possibly look for your next best alternative.
actually her shot should be over, as in not communicate with her ever again, she is obviously not into him and nobody is THAT busy. and if they are, then they should not be seeking a relationship because it is clear they don't have time for one.
I hope OP has been attempting to date other women during this time period. I think he should wait until a couple days before their scheduled date and then ask for confirmation as to whether or not they are still on. If she wants to reschedule yet again he should decline. If she says she has decided she doesn't want to date him he could tell her he thought that was the probably the case but thinks a person with good manners would have told him sooner. Block and delete.
I am already doing that, but finding someone with that has much similiar interest &common the chance is so low that I don't think it's going to happen within a month.
I am normally a very confidence man, I was borned like that, but now I can't stop regretting something I can't change.
I am also seeing how she changed from admired me to stop commuication with me. This also hurt my ego pretty bad, seeing how fast people can change.
I am really in pain, can't stop blame myself for everything that I have done during third date. although I know I shouldn't. This is the first time I ever felt so defeated.
Bold part - My advise is to learn how to not link your self worth and ego to whether a woman likes you or not.
Not saying it is easy, but it is a worthwhile skill to learn, and one that can be learned.
I hope OP has been attempting to date other women during this time period. I think he should wait until a couple days before their scheduled date and then ask for confirmation as to whether or not they are still on. If she wants to reschedule yet again he should decline. If she says she has decided she doesn't want to date him he could tell her he thought that was the probably the case but thinks a person with good manners would have told him sooner. Block and delete.
I agree with both of you. Also keep talking to other women and if you can arrange a date with one of them do so. The two of you are not in a committed relationship. This woman may or may not be that into you. She also may not have that much time for you. What we do know is that you seem a lot more into her than she seems into you, so emotionally back off a little and keep your options open and possibly look for your next best alternative.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChileSauceCritic
actually her shot should be over, as in not communicate with her ever again, she is obviously not into him and nobody is THAT busy. and if they are, then they should not be seeking a relationship because it is clear they don't have time for one.
I hear you. There is an excellent chance this woman isn't interested.
I guess my thinking here is this. The OP likes this woman a lot. I know for myself its easier for me to accept rejection when I feel like I have made all reasonable efforts. The last reasonable effort here for me here would be to call to confirm the last date she previously agreed to. This way the OP is not putting himself in a situation where he is thinking if only I did x. He has done his due diligence, she is just not interested. There was nothing more else to do. So its just easier for me in that situation to just let it go.
The second reason is that I don't believe in standing people up. I just think that is rude. If there was ever a situation to firm up plans one way or the other, its here. There is a good chance this woman is not going to show up and I would much rather talk through that as adults. I think that is kinder to this woman, I think that is kinder to the OP. I wouldn't be trying to do a hard sell of pushing to meet up, instead it would be a very soft sell. "Hey we had previous plans to meet up, do you still want to do that or not? If not, I completely get that." Something along those lines.
I think that there is a remote chance here that this woman might actually give him one last bite at the apple. Between using this very soft sell approach and just giving this woman some space, the OP is demonstrating that he can pursue this woman without being quite so pushy. Is it it too little, too late? Probably. That said I still think that is his best chance here.
There is also a good chance this woman doesn't answer his call and will not call back. That too is an answer for the OP. She just isn't interested.
Something I would think could be an issue is that maybe the OP hasn't initiated any romantic or physical contact. Maybe the girl doesn't want just a male friend or a surrogate girl friend and is looking for romance. Her comment that if he was a girl he would be a show off might have been an attempt to discern if he was gay. Some people expect some physical display of affection (hand holding, a good night kiss) by the first or at least second date and some serious making out by the third or fourth date. If they don't get that they don't continue seeing that person.
Something I would think could be an issue is that maybe the OP hasn't initiated any romantic or physical contact. Maybe the girl doesn't want just a male friend or a surrogate girl friend and is looking for romance. Her comment that if he was a girl he would be a show off might have been an attempt to discern if he was gay. Some people expect some physical display of affection (hand holding, a good night kiss) by the first or at least second date and some serious making out by the third or fourth date. If they don't get that they don't continue seeing that person.
And here I thought getting your car towed and running into a pillar on two of your three dates might have been it.
I'm guessing this girl must be hotter than fish grease in a frying pan. the only thing that would make most guys put up with a woman being so inconsiderate is if the woman in question is way hotter than the guy can normally attract. there have been studies on how above average looking people get away with behavior more average looking people could not.
Like in that movie "click" where he was pissed at his wife and thought about leaving her, then had a flashback of the women he dated before his wife (mostly ugly or fat and one of whom he was not sure was born a woman) and was then determined to get his wife back.
Though that scene was an exaggeration, it is a dilemma many men go through at some point.
And yes the same thing happens to women but it usually takes a different form, and is not as bad (the good looking, charming, great personality guy who is chronically un or under employed still living with his mom or in a crappy 1 bedroom apartment with 4 roommates.)
Last edited by ChileSauceCritic; 10-08-2021 at 01:26 PM..
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