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Whether he seems to have really changed for the better, who wants someone w/ a FELONY on his record? how much trouble will a felony be to do the following even if it was 20 yrs ago? (I have no idea since I never knew anyone w/ a felony.)
He's probably OK for casual dating. Not for marrying or living with. Felons have a lot of extra hardship in their lives because of the felony on their record and, seriously, you don't want to welcome that hardship into your life voluntarily. You get guilt by association when you live with a felon.
This guy might be as honest as they come, but I talk to more felons than your average lawful person and I have never in my life met a felon who will admit it was his fault. There are always lots of excuses about why they didn't do it, or they got a raw deal, or some sort of rationalization. They all have a story that minimizes the crime.
I also think the story is a little bit implausible. Not impossible, but a bit iffy. It would probably be easy for you to look it up in the court records to see what the real story is. Who knows? Maybe you will find it is 100% the truth.
One thing to watch out for. He's a felon so it is difficult for him to rent a nice place to live. He may think he can weasel his way into your house if he is charming enough. Just be aware.
Last edited by oregonwoodsmoke; 08-29-2022 at 11:35 AM..
So I met this perfect southern gentleman, he is very smart, works with his hands, outgoing, never met a stranger. Easy on the eyes. Today on our second date we had sushi for lunch, then went to a park and sat on a blanket in the shade and fed the ducks. THen he tells me he has something he needs to say and I have an omg moment wondering what shoe is about to drop.
About 20 years ago he was working as a bail bondsman. He was chasing a guy who skipped out on his bail and during a scuffle he shot the guy who then bled to death. He was charged with involuntary manslaughter and served 6 months. So he has a felony on his record. This was the nail in the coffin of his marriage and he suffered some hard times as a result but seems to have come out of it just fine.
He was concerned I would find this to be a deal breaker. It seems like ancient history to me and I was not bothered by it at all.
Should I be?
I would not be bothered by it.
20 years ago is a long time. I like how honest he is.
Not quite sure why some people wonder about his temper - this was not a barfight, it was a job where he chased and tried to retain a criminal.
20 years ago is a long time. I like how honest he is.
Not quite sure why some people wonder about his temper - this was not a barfight, it was a job where he chased and tried to retain a criminal.
People in law enforcement, corrections, and associated occupations - fairly or unfairly - have a reputation for getting 'hot under the collar' easier and quicker than 'civvies', aka 'those on the other side'. And rates of domestic violence tend to be higher among that bunch to boot. And worse if they're 'roid ragers'.
.......... - this was not a barfight, it was a job where he chased and tried to retain a criminal.
If that is what the felony conviction was really about. Which is why Stagemomma has been advised to verify the story. Lots of extra points for the guy if he is totally honest. Just don't ever accept anyone's assertion that they are honest at face value, because honest people will tell you the truth about being honest and dishonest people will also tell you that they are honest. They need to be sifted through using some other criteria than their own self-evaluation..
20 years ago is a long time. I like how honest he is.
Not quite sure why some people wonder about his temper - this was not a barfight, it was a job where he chased and tried to retain a criminal.
The OP hasn't dated this man very long. I am not saying that she shouldn't date the guy and get to know him better. Given her interest in the guy I would continue to date him. The guy might end up being completely mellow guy and if so he may end up being a completely wonderful boyfriend. But she doesn't really know this guy that well either. There are some guys who actively seek out jobs like being a bounty hunter because they are attracted to the adrenaline rush and the possibility of being in a fight with someone, where they get to kick some's ass. I am not saying that is the case here, but that is what I would be on the look out for. That disposition plus a history of actually killing someone would concern me.
Again, I am not saying end the relationship and find someone else, but more continue to get to know this guy better, but also have some situational awarenes about possible pitfalls too.
I would investigate to confirm if he story is true.
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Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke
He's probably OK for casual dating. Not for marrying or living with. Felons have a lot of extra hardship in their lives because of the felony on their record and, seriously, you don't want to welcome that hardship into your life voluntarily. You get guilt by association when you live with a felon.
This guy might be as honest as they come, but I talk to more felons than your average lawful person and I have never in my life met a felon who will admit it was his fault. There are always lots of excuses about why they didn't do it, or they got a raw deal, or some sort of rationalization. They all have a story that minimizes the crime.
I also think the story is a little bit implausible. Not impossible, but a bit iffy. It would probably be easy for you to look it up in the court records to see what the real story is. Who knows? Maybe you will find it is 100% the truth.
One thing to watch out for. He's a felon so it is difficult for him to rent a nice place to live. He may think he can weasel his way into your house if he is charming enough. Just be aware.
THIS! Very good points. I couldn't seriously date someone who killed someone else even in the line of duty on their job. I know that may sound horrible, but I like my life at peace. I don't like violence
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Very good points. I couldn't seriously date someone who killed someone else even in the line of duty on their job. I know that may sound horrible, but I like my life at peace. I don't like violence
