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So I met this perfect southern gentleman, he is very smart, works with his hands, outgoing, never met a stranger. Easy on the eyes. Today on our second date we had sushi for lunch, then went to a park and sat on a blanket in the shade and fed the ducks. THen he tells me he has something he needs to say and I have an omg moment wondering what shoe is about to drop.
About 20 years ago he was working as a bail bondsman. He was chasing a guy who skipped out on his bail and during a scuffle he shot the guy who then bled to death. He was charged with involuntary manslaughter and served 6 months. So he has a felony on his record. This was the nail in the coffin of his marriage and he suffered some hard times as a result but seems to have come out of it just fine.
He was concerned I would find this to be a deal breaker. It seems like ancient history to me and I was not bothered by it at all.
Should I be?
With just this post in mind, I wouldn't call it a deal breaker, but I would want to see how he is over time. I would want to know more about those hard times, and if he has resolved his issues with his ex. It takes awhile to discern someone's character, and if you are considering a long-term commitment, you definitely want to know more than what you've described here.
Whether he seems to have really changed for the better, who wants someone w/ a FELONY on his record? how much trouble will a felony be to do the following even if it was 20 yrs ago? (I have no idea since I never knew anyone w/ a felony.)
- get jobs
- buy a house/car
- get credit
- etc.
This is probably where the "working with his hands" comes in. He may be an artisan of some kind, a carpenter making custom cabinetry, or whatever. Self-employed.
Whether he seems to have really changed for the better, who wants someone w/ a FELONY on his record? how much trouble will a felony be to do the following even if it was 20 yrs ago? (I have no idea since I never knew anyone w/ a felony.)
- get jobs
- buy a house/car
- get credit
- etc.
He works as much as he wants to and has time for creative hobbies like repurposing old things, feeding feral cat colonies, raising chickens, and writing fiction. He lives in the house he was born in, it's the family homestead and I'm guessing he has no desire to ever live elsewhere. He knows everyone in town, most of his stories involve running into someone he knows the other day, folks ranging from former teachers to the local judge.
If I recall correctly, he said he doesn't have any debt which may be an excuse for not being able to get any credit. However, I don't have a mortgage or car loan myself and have excellent credit, so I don't think of that as a bad thing. I just don't believe in using it unless I have to.
StageMomma:
I don't mean to sound harsh but he comes with an incredible amount of baggage. From felony convictions to his cheating wife, this man has issues. Serious ones.
Take time---step away--don't catch feelings. Do research. No not online background checks. Schedule a consultation with a criminal attorney and ask his opinion.
This is your life you're talking about. Give yourself the same regard as you are giving a stranger's life and he IS a stranger.
StageMomma:
I don't mean to sound harsh but he comes with an incredible amount of baggage. From felony convictions to his cheating wife, this man has issues. Serious ones.
Take time---step away--don't catch feelings. Do research. No not online background checks. Schedule a consultation with a criminal attorney and ask his opinion.
This is your life you're talking about. Give yourself the same regard as you are giving a stranger's life and he IS a stranger.
Be careful and good luck.
ROTFLMAO........honey, they all have baggage.
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