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It's not about the prank. It's about the failure to reflect on how the victim might feel about the prank. It almost reads like an autistic's fantasy of how real people might broadly act in certain situations, but without the emotional details.
That's actually what you said? It hasn't been a great 4 years. You've been trying to rebuild trust for two years after a betrayal. You didn't acknowledge that hardship (or your role in it) at all.
Yes. This is going to sound stupid but I really thought things were worked out at some point in our relationship and we could start all over, clean the slate and that she had forgiven me.
If I get the chance to propose again, I'll include all that.
It's not about the prank. It's about the failure to reflect on how the victim might feel about the prank. It almost reads like an autistic's fantasy of how real people might broadly act in certain situations, but without the emotional details.
It's too painful that I'd rather not say all the emotional details. She's an overall emotionally strong person and actually used to be kind of a tomboy at school during her younger years. Hence why she never cared about the price nor size of the ring and isn't too much into jewels. That's the only single time I've ever heard and seen her cry so badly and she's not the type of woman to cry for anything or if so, rarely does or it has to be a real bad news such as death in the family, something like that. That's all I have to say.
Yes. This is going to sound stupid but I really thought things were worked out at some point in our relationship and we could start all over, clean the slate and that she had forgiven me.
If I get the chance to propose again, I'll include all that.
The problem with that is that while she might forgive you, she may never forget how you poorly treated her.
IMO, you should both move on, separately, and let this be a lesson to you to not treat someone so badly whom you claim to love.
It's too painful that I'd rather not say all the emotional details. She's an overall emotionally strong person and actually used to be kind of a tomboy at school during her younger years. Hence why she never cared about the price nor size of the ring and isn't too much into jewels. That's the only single time I've ever heard and seen her cry so badly and she's not the type of woman to cry for anything or if so, rarely does or it has to be a real bad news such as death in the family, something like that. That's all I have to say.
Could you at least explain how you thought the prank would turn out?
You did days of planning. Choosing the location, buying roses and stripping all the petals off, preparing the room, shopping for a fake ring, making up a reason to bring her to the proposal spot, rehearsing your words...that must have taken quite a bit of time.
During that time what were you visualizing would happen when she accepted your proposal and then you said, "Haha, I was just kidding, I don't actually want to marry you"
What did you think she would say? And were you surprised by her negative reaction?
Yes. This is going to sound stupid but I really thought things were worked out at some point in our relationship and we could start all over, clean the slate and that she had forgiven me.
This is such a mess. You assumed things had worked out and you were forgiven without ever actually working things out together and having her explicitly forgive you? That's not how any of this works. Why she's stuck around in the intervening years is kind of a mystery, here.
Could you at least explain how you thought the prank would turn out?
You did days of planning. Choosing the location, buying roses and stripping all the petals off, preparing the room, shopping for a fake ring, making up a reason to bring her to the proposal spot, rehearsing your words...that must have taken quite a bit of time.
During that time what were you visualizing would happen when she accepted your proposal and then you said, "Haha, I was just kidding, I don't actually want to marry you"
What did you think she would say? And were you surprised by her negative reaction?
I stupidly paid attention to many Youtube pranks videos at the time. I used to see several proposal pranks. They would do it to their gf and at most, the girl was slightly annoyed and sometimes the guy (like me, many of those guys were never against marriage, they wanted it one day but later on) would inform her that next time he will propose for real, which calmed her down.
That's what I thought her reaction would be like; annoyed and a bit upset but calmer after telling her I would do it for real the 2nd time.
I did the preparation and decoration alone because none of my male friends (not even the one against marriage) wanted to help me with it at all. They didn't want to be any part of it and previously advised and urged me not to do it. At first I said ok I wouldn't but then I didn't listen to them, did it and they were all upset with me upon finding out what happened. Needless to say, I was very shocked at how much I had hurt her. Her reaction was absolutely nothing like those videos. Like mentioned, that marked the end of my pranking days permanently.
Last edited by RegretfulJake; 09-16-2022 at 05:36 PM..
the hurtful proposal prank
jokes about having Covid too (faking coughing)
acted inconsiderate towards others
a history of . . . being late to our dates
delay on paying some bills
she said I need to change more before she considers marriage.
I was unpunctual with my last bill last month.
my proposal was lame and it lacked creativity and enthusiasm, as if I wasn't even trying.
Rectify these immediately on a permanent basis and your chances will be better.
I stupidly paid attention to many Youtube pranks videos at the time. I used to see several proposal pranks. They would do it to their gf and at most, the girl was slightly annoyed and sometimes the guy (like me, many of those guys were never against marriage, they wanted it one day but later on) would inform her that next time he will propose for real, which calmed her down.
That's what I thought her reaction would be like; annoyed and a bit upset but calmer after telling her I would do it for real the 2nd time.
I did the preparation and decoration alone because none of my male friends (not even the one against marriage) wanted to help me with it at all. They didn't want to be any part of it and previously advised and urged me not to do it. At first I said ok I wouldn't but then I didn't listen to them, did it and they were all upset with me upon finding out what happened. Needless to say, I was very shocked at how much I had hurt her. Her reaction was absolutely nothing like those videos. Like mentioned, that marked the end of my pranking days permanently.
This is such a mess. You assumed things had worked out and you were forgiven without ever actually working things out together and having her explicitly forgive you? That's not how any of this works. Why she's stuck around in the intervening years is kind of a mystery, here.
Yes I assumed things were worked out because it wasn't mentioned after a while. I thought she was happy again, that she was ok in the relationship. Unless there were signs she was still hurt and it can be hard reading them.
It's good she told me everything that's been bothering her ever since the terrible prank.
I think I know the answer to her question of why I was very elaborated and creative on the fake proposal and not on the real one. The prank proposal wasn't really my own creativity nor words. I also copied the presentation from someone else's video. I had practically memorized most of the script from several videos. I had practiced it in front of the mirror several times till getting it right. My real proposal is my original self.
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