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Not saying all women do this but I’ve know some women who do this. Their partner (husband or boyfriend) does some household chore and instead of positive recognition, the lady finds fault with how it was done. Does dishes, he didn’t use enough dishwashing liquid. Did dishes, but he didn’t also dry and put away dishes. Swept the floor, but he missed these spaces. Mopped the floor, but he didn’t do it right. Vacuumed the rug, but he didn’t do it right. Dusting furniture and shelves, but you missed this or didn’t do it the way “I do it”. With all this negative feedback is it any wonder the boyfriend or husband stops trying?
Is this something you learned from how your mom treated your dad? Have you ever considered positive feedback first and then asking politely for them to do it differently next time? Have you ever considered being thankful he made the effort to help out?
My wife is the same way. When we go riding in the winter and she stops to get gas, I will fill up the tank so she won't have to step out in the bitter cold. When I sit back down, instead of thanking me, it's "EEww. What's that smell. Your hands smell like gasoline." So I have learned to sit on my hands.
If I touch up something in the yard that badly needs paint, and then scrub my hands 3 times outside, and leave the brush outside --- Or if I fill the lawn mower, then come in, it's still "EEWW, your hands really stink, and you dripped paint on your shoe."
If I dare to cook any simple thing while she's out, exactly according to directions, she will come in and it's "What's that awful smell. Have you been cooking greens? (which incidentally she bought - not me). I have to open all the windows."
If I rake leaves outside, and track just one leaf in the house, it's "Oh, you're tracking leaves all over the house. You make me have to get the broom."
Once, she returned home after 2 weeks of visiting her sister in Florida. I had put away all the dishes that day, vacuumed and mopped, scrubbed all bathrooms, tidied the refrigerator and cabinets, but unfortunately I had left a pillow and bedsheets on the couch. The second she walked in the door, she screamed, "Oh, just look what an awful mess you made".
I can empty the cat litter-box, 9 days out of 10, and not even mention it, it's no big deal. But if I forget on the 10th day, she always makes a big production of doing it, huffing and puffing and complaining, and rinsing and scrubbing it out loudly, over and over.
She will go for literally years without once vacuuming carpets or anything else. If I ever turn on the vacuum just a few times a year, it's "Oh, that noise is scaring the cats, and gives me a headache. Do you have to do that? Put that away."
Last edited by slowlane3; 09-15-2022 at 09:58 PM..
And some men are that way, so, yes, some people are controlling and never happy.
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This is something that some women have to let go of and to trust other people to do. Even if it's not the way she'd do it, the chore is done and she's part of a team. That doesn't give the husband a pass to do a sloppy, half-assed job, though.
But on the flip side women are judged more harshly for home and family. If a dad dresses his kids in mismatched clothes, he gets an "aw, he tried," If she drops off the kids in mismatched clothes, it's "I can't believe she sent her kids to school like that."
My wife is the same way. When we go riding in the winter and she stops to get gas, I will fill up the tank so she won't have to step out in the bitter cold. When I sit back down, instead of thanking me, it's "EEww. What's that smell. Your hands smell like gasoline." So I have learned to sit on my hands.
If I touch up something in the yard that badly needs paint, and then scrub my hands 3 times outside, and leave the brush outside --- Or if I fill the lawn mower, then come in, it's still "EEWW, your hands really stink, and you dripped paint on your shoe."
If I dare to cook any simple thing while she's out, exactly according to directions, she will come in and it's "What's that awful smell. Have you been cooking greens? (which incidentally she bought - not me). I have to open all the windows."
If I rake leaves outside, and track just one leaf in the house, it's "Oh, you're tracking leaves all over the house. You make me have to get the broom."
Once, she returned home after 2 weeks of visiting her sister in Florida. I had put away all the dishes that day, vacuumed and mopped, scrubbed all bathrooms, tidied the refrigerator and cabinets, but unfortunately I had left a pillow and bedsheets on the couch. The second she walked in the door, she screamed, "Oh, just look what an awful mess you made".
I can empty the cat litter-box, 9 days out of 10, and not even mention it, it's no big deal. But if I forget on the 10th day, she always makes a big production of doing it, huffing and puffing and complaining, and rinsing and scrubbing it out loudly, over and over.
She will go for literally years without once vacuuming carpets or anything else. If I ever turn on the vacuum just a few times a year, it's "Oh, that noise is scaring the cats, and gives me a headache. Do you have to do that? Put that away."
She treats you this way for one reason. And one reason only. YOU LET HER DO IT.
For all the guys who step up and help around the house...do YOU thank your wives for the chores that SHE does, as part of running a household and family? If you do, that's great! I've got nothing negative to say to those guys. And if you are thanking her for doing her part, than yes, you have a right to expect the same kindness in return.
My wife is the same way. When we go riding in the winter and she stops to get gas, I will fill up the tank so she won't have to step out in the bitter cold. When I sit back down, instead of thanking me, it's "EEww. What's that smell. Your hands smell like gasoline." So I have learned to sit on my hands.
If I touch up something in the yard that badly needs paint, and then scrub my hands 3 times outside, and leave the brush outside --- Or if I fill the lawn mower, then come in, it's still "EEWW, your hands really stink, and you dripped paint on your shoe."
If I dare to cook any simple thing while she's out, exactly according to directions, she will come in and it's "What's that awful smell. Have you been cooking greens? (which incidentally she bought - not me). I have to open all the windows."
If I rake leaves outside, and track just one leaf in the house, it's "Oh, you're tracking leaves all over the house. You make me have to get the broom."
Once, she returned home after 2 weeks of visiting her sister in Florida. I had put away all the dishes that day, vacuumed and mopped, scrubbed all bathrooms, tidied the refrigerator and cabinets, but unfortunately I had left a pillow and bedsheets on the couch. The second she walked in the door, she screamed, "Oh, just look what an awful mess you made".
I can empty the cat litter-box, 9 days out of 10, and not even mention it, it's no big deal. But if I forget on the 10th day, she always makes a big production of doing it, huffing and puffing and complaining, and rinsing and scrubbing it out loudly, over and over.
She will go for literally years without once vacuuming carpets or anything else. If I ever turn on the vacuum just a few times a year, it's "Oh, that noise is scaring the cats, and gives me a headache. Do you have to do that? Put that away."
How do you live like that?
And why do you put up with it?
How long have you been married?
And why do you stay married to this person?
Last edited by RubyandPearl; 09-16-2022 at 08:19 AM..
My wife is the same way. When we go riding in the winter and she stops to get gas, I will fill up the tank so she won't have to step out in the bitter cold. When I sit back down, instead of thanking me, it's "EEww. What's that smell. Your hands smell like gasoline." So I have learned to sit on my hands.
If I touch up something in the yard that badly needs paint, and then scrub my hands 3 times outside, and leave the brush outside --- Or if I fill the lawn mower, then come in, it's still "EEWW, your hands really stink, and you dripped paint on your shoe."
If I dare to cook any simple thing while she's out, exactly according to directions, she will come in and it's "What's that awful smell. Have you been cooking greens? (which incidentally she bought - not me). I have to open all the windows."
If I rake leaves outside, and track just one leaf in the house, it's "Oh, you're tracking leaves all over the house. You make me have to get the broom."
Once, she returned home after 2 weeks of visiting her sister in Florida. I had put away all the dishes that day, vacuumed and mopped, scrubbed all bathrooms, tidied the refrigerator and cabinets, but unfortunately I had left a pillow and bedsheets on the couch. The second she walked in the door, she screamed, "Oh, just look what an awful mess you made".
I can empty the cat litter-box, 9 days out of 10, and not even mention it, it's no big deal. But if I forget on the 10th day, she always makes a big production of doing it, huffing and puffing and complaining, and rinsing and scrubbing it out loudly, over and over.
She will go for literally years without once vacuuming carpets or anything else. If I ever turn on the vacuum just a few times a year, it's "Oh, that noise is scaring the cats, and gives me a headache. Do you have to do that? Put that away."
You need to up and leave her - or better - kick her out. Two instances of *that* and - surprise! - it is over over over.
Gonna break it to ya - you're in dire need of a backbone.
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