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That’s why dinner dates are important to judge someone’s character. You can pretty much guess or tell what someone’s personality, habits, and political bias based on what they eat and sometimes what they drink as well. You can’t really change someone’s diet if they are very determined and reluctant to even try. Then there are people who does eat various stuff but on dates they just eat a few bites and won’t finish it. You can gain a lot of insights by watching people eat and what they choose.
I love going to a buffet and watch what some people choose when given a large variety of choices.
Ha, that is interesting. I didn't get to go on many "dinner dates" in my life, but I've been out to dinner with friends, groups, or with work, and yes, you can often tell things about people by what they choose. Not so sure about political bias, but maybe I've never looked for that because I don't think about it that much.
(Also didn't know that Kraft peanut butter is only available in Canada, but with their love and highest world consumption of "KD"/Kraft mac n cheese, that makes sense.)
PB is still kind of an exotic food there--kind of like Biscoff spread (a.k.a. "cookie butter") is here in the States in that it's available, but on a somewhat limited basis.
And yet some of us, myself included, have described how we happily coexist in households where the two individuals have completely different diets and there is zero conflict.
I'm a picky eater, and my husband is on a Keto diet.
You really are heels-dug-in that it can't be done, but it CAN. Probably not by you, and you seem to know that about yourself. Good!
By some of us, though? You bet.
Grocery list: My husband buys the things he likes and I buy the things I like, we each shop for ourselves. Since we have no kids in the house, each of us can make what we want for ourselves no problem. He's got a hard to find keto friendly sauce that can only be got on Amazon? He'll order it. I only like the apple pies from Target? I'll pick one up for myself if I happen to be up there. Each of us manages our own grocery budget and is able to be frugal or splurge a bit as we wish. Easy.
Meal planning: Husband likes to plan out meals, I don't. I eat what I'm in the mood to eat whenever I feel hungry. Yesterday it was a bagel for breakfast and 2 leftover tacos later on. Today I might feel like having a bowl of Rice Krispies at dinnertime. I have no idea, that's hours away. Husband has a big ol' salad mid morning and something like one of his keto cauliflower crust pizzas or salmon or something in the early evening.
Restaurant choices: Most picky eating adults get to a point where we can find something on the menu we'll like at most places. I don't care for most Asian foods but usually I can get them to do something with teriyaki meat and plain white rice without much of an issue, for instance. There are only a couple of categories of restaurants I will probably avoid, like Greek or Indian food.
Holidays? I'm the one who does the cooking. I make a mean turkey. I don't like celery so my stuffing has none. If I knew I was having a guest who only liked stuffing if it had celery in it, I would set some aside made differently and you know what, it would not be that hard to do for me. I would be happy to do it. For me, accommodating someone's needs is part of how I show that I care about them. And knowing their specific needs and preferences makes me feel good.
I know that some picky eaters can be pretty insufferable, my Grandpa was...everything did have to revolve around his requirements, and other relatives complained about it. But not all of us are like that.
Anyways, you can repeat, "she needs to leave" all you like, the reality is no one is gonna toss themselves out into hardship over something like this. Your opinion as a random internet person does not her reality or relationship dictate (and she apparently isn't even here reading it.) Sorry. Truth is harsh.
Good for you. Hope you feel proud ??
My opinion is just as valid as yours. And ... there's no evidence at all that her SO has any interest in meeting her half way. In fact, it's the opposite. People are reading what they want to out of the OP and not reading what she has actually said.
So yes, unless she wants to argue 2x/3x a day for the rest of her life ... she should leave.
Weird that you literally can't see it. But whatever.
It really is a Catch-22. IMO there is no good answer. Just a choice. And choices come with consequences, no matter what one chooses in a situation like this.
Well, yes it is different. Smoking doesn't just affect the smoker, it affects the entire household concerning health. Someone being a picky eater only affects themselves unless other people choose to make it an issue. Because I think you're really talking about control issues, not health.
Living with a picky eater affects the entire household, too, not just the picky eater who demands that their strange food habits be followed.
I agree about there being control issues, but in my opinion it is the fanatically picky eater (and I don't just mean someone who prefers to eat raw carrots but not cooked carrots, as one example), who is the control freak.
Although I consider it to be mighty weird that "no food item can touch another food item," (although who wants bloody steak juice to get into their lettuce? Not a pretty sight), there is a simple solution for the person who demands all their food separate, and that's an Indian Thali plate like the one, below, with four compartments:
PB is still kind of an exotic food there--kind of like Biscoff spread (a.k.a. "cookie butter") is here in the States in that it's available, but on a somewhat limited basis.
Peanut butter is not an exotic food in Canada. It is quite normal.
OP, when did you first realize your SO, with whom you've been living for ten months now (and whom you've presumably been dating and eating with much longer than that) was a picky eater, and what was your response to it at the time? If it's such a fatal flaw and dealbreaker, why did you continue the relationship and, indeed, pursue it even further by moving in together?
That’s why dinner dates are important to judge someone’s character. You can pretty much guess or tell what someone’s personality, habits, and political bias based on what they eat and sometimes what they drink as well. You can’t really change someone’s diet if they are very determined and reluctant to even try. Then there are people who does eat various stuff but on dates they just eat a few bites and won’t finish it. You can gain a lot of insights by watching people eat and what they choose.
I love going to a buffet and watch what some people choose when given a large variety of choices.
I agree that dinner dates are important, not just for food choices, but to observe table manners. However, I am not persuaded that one can discern political affiliation by whether one's dinner mate orders apple pie vs Panna Cotta.
See post #147. It will explain the conversation to which my comment was referring. (Canada was not the country to which I was referring, but France. It's a Canadian commercial, though. Eaten more than my share of peanut butter while visiting Canada, too. )
And while "exotic" isn't precisely the word to use, peanut butter is not so easy to find nor is it inexpensive in France. Kind of like how not every grocery store in the U.S. carries Biscoff spread, which is the best product to compare peanut butter to in terms of ubiquity in one country and harder-to-find in another.
Anyway....back to our regularly scheduled programming, lol.
Last edited by Formerly Known As Twenty; 10-11-2022 at 07:11 PM..
My opinion is just as valid as yours. And ... there's no evidence at all that her SO has any interest in meeting her half way. In fact, it's the opposite. People are reading what they want to out of the OP and not reading what she has actually said.
So yes, unless she wants to argue 2x/3x a day for the rest of her life ... she should leave.
Weird that you literally can't see it. But whatever.
What's weird is that you can't see it's the OP that can't meet halfway. Name one thing - ONE THING - that the SO eats that the OP has taken up eating. The ONLY change in diet here has been on the part of the SO.
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