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Everyone has their dealbreakers, though. I wouldn't call myself a foodie, but as I said upthread, I love cooking and eating and trying new foods and sharing meals with a partner and sampling local specialties when traveling. If I dated someone who would only eat at McDonalds, that would be a problem for me. Maybe an insurmountable problem. On the flip side, I don't really care about music, so someone who loves going to live shows and playing and performing and traveling to see bands and staying on top of new releases might think I'm a killjoy to what they love. And that's fine, too.
If someone would only eat at McDonalds, that isn’t a food choice issue. That’s a psychological conditioning issue. The guy has some serious issues.
I've never known anyone who would "only" eat burgers, or at McDonald's...most picky eaters are not like that. And I don't think that the OP is dealing with anything quite that extreme.
Yes, it is a psychological thing. But even so, and even if he may benefit from some sort of therapy perhaps, I wouldn't expect that to change this. Ultimately it's part of who he is.
But it's like any kind of "issues" really...you figure out ways to live with it, and people who have issues learn to work accommodations into their lives. The people that so many complain about here who are nasty, rude, obnoxious, and expect everyone to contort their lives around them...that is ANOTHER kind of problem on TOP of the eating thing. To draw a parallel, it is the difference between the vegan who can go to dinner with everyone and just orders what they need, and the one who will not set foot in any establishment that serves meat and won't stop telling everyone around them about how meat is murder. Some people are just more willing to consider others, and some people are jerks! But I don't think that the OP is dealing with a jerk.
I want to put another point out there for the OP to understand. If he is willing even in the smallest of ways, to try any new thing, even a little, because you want him to... This is a sign of love, trust, and a sincere desire to be with you. Please don't take it lightly, or get too frustrated if it isn't more, or a bigger change. In his world, it's a big deal.
Really, for me (can't speak for anybody else)...if you both love each other and you both treat one another well and you see a future with this guy, I'm really happy to hear your willingness and desire to try and work through this together and find somewhere to meet in the middle on it. Because I've personally walked a very long road just to find a partner I love, who loves me back, and where we are both good partners for each other in all the ways that matter most to us. I isn't easy, as many on this subforum (now that it's moved to Relationships) know. Like, finding your happily ever after in love is hard enough, without every possible difference being treated as a dealbreaker.
For those who say it would be one for them, again, that's fine...but one would think you'd figure that out before being together a year and moving in together, yeah? Like in the first few dates? That isn't the case here.
In the Netflix series “Love is Blind” Season 2, Nick who is this really sweet attentive guy, very sharp and always have answers to problems. Was matched up and got engaged with Danielle who is more moody but does come from a lovely family. Danielle had to blind fold Nick just to get him to try sushi. He doesn’t like any fish or rice. And upon trying sushi he instantly got very disgusted. Their engagement ended recently, there is some correlation to people’s choices and tastes. If a person is very adamant about his food choices then you either accept it or skip. No need to force it.
I more likely think they broke up because he realized she is a drama queen and a nutcase. I have no idea why he liked her in the first place. She is cute (and he did not know that) but he fell in love with her very fast and she already revealed within the first few meets that she is a mess.
She was immediately honest and said something like "I am overly emotional, cry all the time, blame you for everything and won't be able to be a grown up with common sense" and he was like "awesome, do you want to marry me?"
I more likely think they broke up because he realized she is a drama queen and a nutcase. I have no idea why he liked her in the first place. She is cute (and he did not know that) but he fell in love with her very fast and she already revealed within the first few meets that she is a mess.
She was immediately honest and said something like "I am overly emotional, cry all the time, blame you for everything and won't be able to be a grown up with common sense" and he was like "awesome, do you want to marry me?"
Well, that kind of drama queen attitude is attractive to many guys who wants to play the white knight. I just think Nick is a bit too predictable and boring. She needs a guy that’s a bit spontaneous and fun. There are lots of guys who are just meat and potatoes and not as fun to Danielle types.
If it is a big issue and keeps you up at night - go your separate ways.
Agreed. If you're an active, adventurous eater, you're going to want to share that, at least a basic level, with your partner. Could you imagine going to India with him? All of your sightseeing would need to be near a McDonalds.
Agreed. If you're an active, adventurous eater, you're going to want to share that, at least a basic level, with your partner. Could you imagine going to India with him? All of your sightseeing would need to be near a McDonalds.
To me this is like saying, "If you're really into photography, he had better be, too!" It's OKAY to have separate interests and passions. I think we've really reached the point where we can't tolerate others having their own opinions or doing their own thing. We're always reading on these forums that it's okay, even desirable, to go to restaurants and dine alone -- so go to a restaurant and dine alone! Let him eat his McD's.
On the other hand, if you insist on togetherness in all things and want to live like bookends, he's not for you.
To me this is like saying, "If you're really into photography, he had better be, too!" It's OKAY to have separate interests and passions. I think we've really reached the point where we can't tolerate others having their own opinions or doing their own thing. We're always reading on these forums that it's okay, even desirable, to go to restaurants and dine alone -- so go to a restaurant and dine alone! Let him eat his McD's.
On the other hand, if you insist on togetherness in all things and want to live like bookends, he's not for you.
Not when it comes to food. Incorrect analogy. She's not insisting. She wants to share. Vast difference there.
I had a relationship years ago with someone who was similar to OP's man. The man had been spoiled by his mother when he was a child. She used to cook separate meals for him even though the family was eating a different meal. One time he threw a hissy fit in a restaurant because the veggie choices did not include the only 2 veggies he would eat (peas and corn). Right then and there, I realized he wasn't the man for me. Food pickiness is a form of being self-centered, rigid, controlling, and it smacks of a very elitist values system whereby you feel the world must cater to you. I suspect OP's man is rigid and picky in other ways too, not just food. These people will never change but they will force YOU to change--to meet THEIR needs and expectations! Do you want to live like that, just to have a man in your life?
Also I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't understand food is a gift and blessing and not a guarantee. There are many starving people in this world, many people who are too poor to get fresh veggies or much of anything else but rice. I despise it when people are so picky that they can't eat what's placed in front of them. I was raised by parents who went through the Depression and had very little to eat. We learned to eat what our mothers placed in front of us, what they could afford. We didn't have avocado toast and feta cheese crumbles and gluten free pasta and crab and all of the fancy gourmet foods that you see in the store today. We were lucky to get a grilled American cheese sandwich, tomato soup, or meat loaf and mashed potatoes.
Couldn't rep you again, very good points. Like I've been saying this situation may likely get tiresome. If I were a foodie who loved food, cooking, trying new things, sharing what I've cooked, I wouldn't want to be with someone who is an extremely limited eater. I think some people on this thread are minimizing how important this aspect of life is to some people.
Not when it comes to food. Incorrect analogy. She's not insisting. She wants to share. Vast difference there.
Everyone who enjoys any hobby/interest would like to "share" the joy they feel in it, but adults realize that not everyone enjoys the same thing. It sounds to me like "insisting" when she keeps pushing her agenda... Seems it may be one of those things people pretend to be okay with in the beginning of a relationship, but secretly resolve to change about the other person once he puts a ring on it (or they move in together, as in this case) and their union isn't so easily dissolved over these small but annoying differences. I'd really like to hear the explanation as to why she continued the relationship knowing this would cause her such distress. Clearly, she thought she could wear him down and change him and is now upset to find she's not being successful.
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