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Old 10-12-2022, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,386 posts, read 14,656,708 times
Reputation: 39467

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Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
Good for you. Hope you feel proud ??

My opinion is just as valid as yours. And ... there's no evidence at all that her SO has any interest in meeting her half way. In fact, it's the opposite. People are reading what they want to out of the OP and not reading what she has actually said.

So yes, unless she wants to argue 2x/3x a day for the rest of her life ... she should leave.

Weird that you literally can't see it. But whatever.
Honestly yes, when I find ways to navigate situations that can be touchy for people, where they can still be comfortable and so can I, I am in fact proud of the fact that I have decent human skills. One of those being the ability to find compromise, where everyone wins. Not everything has to be an argument. I mean, I guess that's how some people do in relationships, argue every time they don't have identical tastes, needs or views, but unless you find a clone of yourself to date, that's a hell of a lot more stress than I'd want. Heck. Some people just like to argue. We might infer something from stats on people's much preferred subforum of choice on this board, not to put too fine a point on it.

I see it as-

The non picky eater: I can't deal with how YOU are and if YOU don't do what I say, then I will shame/hate/judge/leave etc. Your way of life is an imposition on me because it is different. I can't live with someone who is not like me, since I think I'm right I will not compromise, I have no respect for your autonomy and if there isn't consensus, there must be conflict.

(According to you, no possibility even exists where the non-picky person isn't some sort of slave to the whims of the picky one? Which is weird? What if the power dynamic runs in the other direction, eh?)

The picky eater: I'm fine with you doing whatever you want, but I need you to let me manage my own needs and eat the way that I am comfortable eating. No one asked you to manage my groceries, meal planning, diet, etc. I won't tell you how to eat, you don't get to tell me how to eat. (And in my life, holy crap the times I've been the one with the healthier body with an obese person scowling at me for being too picky, but they still think that they're "right.")

But it's the picky eater who is outrageous? Even when they are not being demanding or controlling? Even if they are the healthier bodied of the two? Pssh, sure. Though I don't tend to judge anyone's body weight or shape (see it as none of my business) if they are gonna butt in about my eating habits, I will be raising an eyebrow and pointedly looking at that belly. I'll stay out of YOUR business, but you had best return the favor.

I mean, seriously what about a situation where a picky eater is the one who mainly buys groceries, cooks, etc.? That was my role in my first marriage and when raising my kids. I did not have a problem catering to the needs of others in my family, who wanted to eat things that I did not.

But again, all of that ASIDE there is the very important RELATIONSHIP component of this (and if you look at my stats, that's my subforum of choice for years)... Which is that it's always fine to reject a date for what you see as an incompatibility and it doesn't really matter if it's major or minor, if you just don't wanna deal with it. But it's a little wacky to look at an OP where she clearly has been with him a while, clearly wants to make it work, and clearly finds things to love in this man, and say nope! No compromise possible. Give up! Especially given other context about finances and such. You are so zeroed in on the controversy you are willfully and deliberately covering your eyes and shouting "LALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU!" to the bigger picture and the nuance of their particular situation.

How very...political of you.
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Old 10-12-2022, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA, now.
21,020 posts, read 19,379,197 times
Reputation: 23666
I know all about this type of thing.
I have no advice.

(My aunt, I'm sure was abused as a child since her father was a pedophile to the grandchildren)
Ate Oreos, peanut butter, coffee, whiskey ..2 bites of mashed potatoes, burnt toast after scraping the burnt off...maybe a bite of pie, a bite of vanilla ice cream.
I'm sure there were 3 other things I can't remember. Sweet woman, very skinny, even as a child.
And yes, the foods not touching, or eating up each item at a time, then going to the next...all sorts of 'types of fussy'.

But my sis that worked with teens for 45 years saw it so much especially in boys...they ate 10 things only.
And that was the high amount.
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Old 10-12-2022, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,571 posts, read 84,777,093 times
Reputation: 115099
Quote:
Originally Posted by SFBayBoomer View Post
Peanut butter is not an exotic food in Canada. It is quite normal.

Top 8 Best Butter In Canada - 2022

https://www.zotezo.com/ca/top/best-p...ter-in-canada/
No, she was talking about France. Watch the commercial. It's funny.

The commercial in the video is for Kraft Peanut Butter, and the point of the commercial is that it is only available in Canada. A Canadian woman falls in love with a French man, moves to France to be with him, but when she discovers he doesn't know what Kraft Peanut Butter is, she goes back to Canada.

I am typing this in Canada. I know there's peanut butter here. I just ate some on a rice cracker (but it wasn't Kraft).

ETA: I see FKAT already clarified, too.
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Old 10-12-2022, 09:16 AM
 
21,884 posts, read 12,964,704 times
Reputation: 36895
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
Good for you. Hope you feel proud ??

My opinion is just as valid as yours. And ... there's no evidence at all that her SO has any interest in meeting her half way. In fact, it's the opposite.

So yes, unless she wants to argue 2x/3x a day for the rest of her life ... she should leave.

Weird that you literally can't see it. But whatever.
That OP should feel proud. She's mature and tolerant enough to live and let live, unlike the original OP.

And, again, it's the original OP who refuses to meet her SO halfway or compromise in any way. The SO is altering his behavior and habits somewhat and proving himself to be reasonably flexible. Original OP, not so much!

It's not a food issue, because that could be worked around; it's a control issue.
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Old 10-12-2022, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
32,932 posts, read 36,351,383 times
Reputation: 43783
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
No, she was talking about France. Watch the commercial. It's funny.

The commercial in the video is for Kraft Peanut Butter, and the point of the commercial is that it is only available in Canada. A Canadian woman falls in love with a French man, moves to France to be with him, but when she discovers he doesn't know what Kraft Peanut Butter is, she goes back to Canada.

I am typing this in Canada. I know there's peanut butter here. I just ate some on a rice cracker (but it wasn't Kraft).

ETA: I see FKAT already clarified, too.
My nephew has lived in Barcelona for over five years. His wife recently spent a week in Northern New Jersey on a business trip. She was required to return with massive amounts of peanut butter.
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Old 10-13-2022, 01:17 PM
 
32,944 posts, read 3,928,374 times
Reputation: 14370
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Here's one way to deal with a MEAN picky eater. A favorite scene from The Prince of Tides.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtK3RjRYAd4
Oh my, that's a horrible movie clip. I hate bullies, especially adult bullies bullying children.
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Old 10-13-2022, 01:20 PM
 
11,040 posts, read 6,875,918 times
Reputation: 18035
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania View Post
My nephew has lived in Barcelona for over five years. His wife recently spent a week in Northern New Jersey on a business trip. She was required to return with massive amounts of peanut butter.
My kind of people!
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Old 10-13-2022, 07:30 PM
 
Location: So. California
1,116 posts, read 1,133,297 times
Reputation: 2630
My hubs is a former super picky eater. He came from England and was used to basic meat and potatoes with a few peas thrown in. Since we've been married (47 years), he has gradually expanded his food view. Mexican and Italian foods, limited so long as no onions involved. Chinese take out. I make a lot of things now so long as I don't use onion, bell peppers or overly spicy seasonings. He doesn't like chunks of crunchy things like celery. Limits me a bit as I love all that. He is 80, and just a year ago decided he now likes broccoli. He's had it in casseroles before but now is good with it as a side. So if the picky eater will be open minded, they might discover some cool foods out there.
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Old 10-13-2022, 07:40 PM
 
21,884 posts, read 12,964,704 times
Reputation: 36895
Why are you "a super picky eater" - a derogatory term - if you like what you like? I don't see the need to put people down for having their preferences, which we all do. (shrug)
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Old 10-13-2022, 11:25 PM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
7,709 posts, read 5,454,906 times
Reputation: 16239
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
No, she was talking about France. Watch the commercial. It's funny.

The commercial in the video is for Kraft Peanut Butter, and the point of the commercial is that it is only available in Canada. A Canadian woman falls in love with a French man, moves to France to be with him, but when she discovers he doesn't know what Kraft Peanut Butter is, she goes back to Canada.

I am typing this in Canada. I know there's peanut butter here. I just ate some on a rice cracker (but it wasn't Kraft).

ETA: I see FKAT already clarified, too.
Thanks for describing the commercial. That is very funny. When I lived in Germany in the late 80's and 1990, hazelnuts, hazelnut spreads and fillings were ubiquitous, just like peanut butter here in the U.S.
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