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I've never shot my shot at anyone. I just talk to people when I feel like talking....if it goes somewhere, cool, if not, cool. But when I talk to people I don't focus on potential romance or relationships. It's unnecessary.
There are lots of shy men out there where if women don't shoot their shot it's not going to happen. It comes down to whether you're willing to take the risk or not as a woman. What do you really have to lose? If he says no you move on and find somebody else.
Forget about anything else related to the discussion trying to rationalize your decision. You either make the move or you don't it comes down to that. You either have the courage or you don't.
This is mostly true, but your first paragraph seems to imply that if a man is too shy, the woman needs to step up and do what he isn’t willing to do.
As a woman, I don’t find shy to be cute or endearing on anyone past the age of 10.
There are lots of shy men out there where if women don't shoot their shot it's not going to happen. It comes down to whether you're willing to take the risk or not as a woman. What do you really have to lose? If he says no you move on and find somebody else.
Forget about anything else related to the discussion trying to rationalize your decision. You either make the move or you don't it comes down to that. You either have the courage or you don't.
Yep agree.
l couldn't care less if a woman wants to approach or ask a guy out or whatever. lf she or they- women, wanted to and don't mind the prospect of him poss saying no thanks, then that's all there is too it really.
l don't care what they do.
There are lots of shy men out there where if women don't shoot their shot it's not going to happen. It comes down to whether you're willing to take the risk or not as a woman. What do you really have to lose? If he says no you move on and find somebody else.
Forget about anything else related to the discussion trying to rationalize your decision. You either make the move or you don't it comes down to that. You either have the courage or you don't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Submariner
It is the same for women as it is for men.
If you ask someone out and they turn you down. You can still ask someone else out a week later. We get multiple chances to get it right.
It isn't about taking your shot and getting turned down. It's about taking your shot and guys who aren't really interested, showing interest and putting in minimal effort because they are flattered and hope it will lead to sex. While rejection stings, it doesn't waste anyone's time. I think this is the message from the video. Generally speaking, when a man takes his shot, he may experience rejection but women don't feel flattered and feign interest hoping it will lead to sex.
I think this is a problem for women "taking their shot" with strangers based on attractiveness. I took my shot with two guys -- one politely rejected me outright and the other is my now husband. So, the rejection by the first guy didn't deter me. I just assumed I wasn't his type and was glad he didn't waste my time by feigning interest. But this was many years ago when people were more transparent and the guys weren't strangers. I knew they were decent people.
I don't particularly liked the women who make the 1st shot these days. Tend to be the kind of women with a shopping list. That's based on my experience, I've never hooked up with a women who shoots first, we go on dates and usually these types of women are very selective and looking for particular.
This is mostly true, but your first paragraph seems to imply that if a man is too shy, the woman needs to step up and do what he isn’t willing to do.
As a woman, I don’t find shy to be cute or endearing on anyone past the age of 10.
Wow! I guess this 32 year old shy guy better tell my wife to leave me since it isn’t endearing or cute.
All men, regardless of who they are and what they do, will go for what they want.
Each man is his own individual, dealing with things at that particular time in his life. Maybe he recently had a few hard rejections in other areas of his life, or is dealing with a slump in his self-esteem. He might simply be sick of approaching and would find it refreshing to have a woman approach him. That might not work for you, but that doesn't mean it's objectively wrong. It's a market like any other, and he's free to engage the market on his terms as long as he's being clear about those terms.
I'm not saying that a woman needs to be open to approaching men. If you want a relationship dynamic in which it's important that the man makes the approach, that's you're prerogative. You too are free to engage the market on your terms as long you're being clear about those terms. Neither side is entitled to dictate to the other side what its terms are supposed to be.
I've never approached a pure stranger to ask them out. I became acquainted with someone through a friend and got to know him better when we both attended a social event and then I asked him if he wanted to do something together and we met up and got together a second time but he didn't call me after that. So yes, I gave it a shot but what was the point if he didn't call me? Against my better judgement, I ended up calling him 8 months later and we got together a few times again. I think we enjoy getting together but for whatever reason he's not moving the relationship along and I'm uncertain myself where I want the relationship to go. The point is that most men will pursue a woman if they're interested. I think it's a waste of time to pursue a man.
I've never approached a pure stranger to ask them out. I became acquainted with someone through a friend and got to know him better when we both attended a social event and then I asked him if he wanted to do something together and we met up and got together a second time but he didn't call me after that. So yes, I gave it a shot but what was the point if he didn't call me? Against my better judgement, I ended up calling him 8 months later and we got together a few times again. I think we enjoy getting together but for whatever reason he's not moving the relationship along and I'm uncertain myself where I want the relationship to go. The point is that most men will pursue a woman if they're interested. I think it's a waste of time to pursue a man.
I think it's a waste of time for anyone to pursue anyone when the signals indicate that the other person is lacking similar levels of interest or investment that you feel or whatever.
I mean, I had a fling where he was pretty hotly putting energy into a kind of "pursuit" of me, made all the first moves, and got really intense really fast. I wasn't trying to push him to commit, but I made it clear how much I was enjoying our times together. But a few weeks in and progressively more in the couple months that followed, he started getting distant, flaky...it got harder and harder to pin down plans with him. To a point where I felt like he had no respect for my time and never wanted to make a plan or get together in a way I could fit into my life, he just wanted me to be out there available on a whim for him...and at that point I knew, this was just not working. I did not need it to be a steady march to wedding bells and happily ever after, but for petes sakes I have a life. I needed more consideration than he had to give. So it ended, though I certainly did put in some effort and time wanting it not to end and trying to salvage things before it did. Oh, well. I felt like I was "chasing" him just trying to plan a date, but that feeling was painting a picture of futility for me. I think, in the end, he just wasn't that into me. /shrug It happens.
I think it's a mistake to over analyze strategy like this, just because something doesn't work out. Each connection involves a different person with a whole different brain and life history. They may or may not be super into you and you may or may not be super into them once you really get to know each other. I don't think that following some rule about who does this or that thing first, how many dates before sex, how many texts per day, blah blah blah like some silly strategy game...is ever going to "guarantee success" for anybody.
I've never approached a pure stranger to ask them out. I became acquainted with someone through a friend and got to know him better when we both attended a social event and then I asked him if he wanted to do something together and we met up and got together a second time but he didn't call me after that. So yes, I gave it a shot but what was the point if he didn't call me? Against my better judgement, I ended up calling him 8 months later and we got together a few times again. I think we enjoy getting together but for whatever reason he's not moving the relationship along and I'm uncertain myself where I want the relationship to go. The point is that most men will pursue a woman if they're interested. I think it's a waste of time to pursue a man.
Sorry but ldk why you called him back later on but anyway. As a general and male l've always said don't bother to women but l suppose times have changed too. Also some guy might be interested just unsure whether she is as yet , or shy or God knows , things can be hard to read from either sometimes l suppose.
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