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Her basic philosophy is that nobody should ever take a chance on anything. Her reasoning applied to males would mean that nobody should ever ask anyone out until they have experience, but of course, they can never get experience without trying in the first place..
No, that's not her basic philosophy. Tell me you didn't watch the video without telling me you didn't watch the video.
Some people just like to flirt. They enjoy the back and forth. Whadya gonna do? LOL
And some people wear poker faces. If you could tell everything from body language and everybody's body language was the same, we would hardly need spoken language!
There are drastic cultural and individual differences on things as simple as personal space. What might seem "intimate" to one is normal to another. What might seem normal to one is way too "intimate" for another.
Those are the guys women don't want though. She didn't take them into account because they're men of no account.
You're certainly entitled to your opinion of course but I entirely disagree. You seem to have little to no empathy for men who are perpetually "down on their luck" in love, who are constantly rejected despite giving it their very best and most heartfelt of efforts. How would you feel though, if it was your brother, your cousin, your son, your nephew, etc. who in that kind of situation, who was finding it extremely challenging to appear attractive to women, have them give him a chance, and to be able to find long-term love and meaningful romantic relationships? I have a feeling that you might just be a bit more sympathetic, in those cases or in that context. I just think you should try to at least walk in the shoes of someone in that kind of predicament, before pronouncing rather harsh judgement on those types of men.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that men are "entitled" to a relationship or that women are obligated to be in a relationship with someone they are not attracted to. It's just that I don't believe that anyone, man or woman, is inherently "worthless" or of "no account". It's just that shy, introverted, and chronically-rejected men are very likely to be feeling very unlovable as it is...no need to rub salt in the wounds, or kick someone when they're down...
You're certainly entitled to your opinion of course but I entirely disagree. You seem to have little to no empathy for men who are perpetually "down on their luck" in love, who are constantly rejected despite giving it their very best and most heartfelt of efforts. How would you feel though, if it was your brother, your cousin, your son, your nephew, etc. who in that kind of situation, who was finding it extremely challenging to appear attractive to women, have them give him a chance, and to be able to find long-term love and meaningful romantic relationships? I have a feeling that you might just be a bit more sympathetic, in those cases or in that context. I just think you should try to at least walk in the shoes of someone in that kind of predicament, before pronouncing rather harsh judgement on those types of men.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that men are "entitled" to a relationship or that women are obligated to be in a relationship with someone they are not attracted to. It's just that I don't believe that anyone, man or woman, is inherently "worthless" or of "no account". It's just that shy, introverted, and chronically-rejected men are very likely to be feeling very unlovable as it is...no need to rub salt in the wounds, or kick someone when they're down...
I am sympathetic. I was a single guy once, and very bad at reading signals. If it wasn't for women being willing to "shoot their shot" with me I'd have been a lonely boy. LOL
I was saying how I think many of the women see it is all.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Most women aren't Beyonce, or even remotely in that league. So, in fact, they do approach guys. Or engage with them at least, to see if there could be some reciprocal interest.
Hell, even average or slightly below average women get sufficient attention from decent suitors that they rarely need to ask out men to get any chance of a relationship.
I watched the first 6 minutes and she sounded pretty shallow and was already repeating herself.
Then you're a really bad listener, or perhaps don't understand the English language that well, because she says this less than 40 seconds into the video.
"Should a woman shoot her shot? It's a complicated question."
At no point did she ever say a woman should NEVER shoot her shot.
Last edited by BajanYankee; 10-06-2022 at 11:23 AM..
But secondly, this is a movie and we both know this is not the first scene. You plucked it out of some sort of context. How I know, although I haven't seen the movie, is that when he said, "lightening could strike" her expression made it FLAGRANTLY obvious that this was a callback to some other thing. He had found some kind of way in which that sentence was meaningful to her, however he had to snoop to find it out, and he threw it out there knowing it would reach her. And because it's a movie, she took it as coincidence but it pinged her "points of commonality" button as stuff does with us women... But they were also talking about a possible provider/patient relationship and so this was perhaps not their first ever conversation.
There is missing context to this story. And most men will not have an inside phrase like that to zing a woman with, and good luck stumbling on one by genuine coincidence. It's not something you can manufacture.
In real life, though, never, NEVER, have I been OK with or interested in a man who "shot his shot" outside of a social setting, like strangers in public. I can't even recall much in the way of random stranger approaches, and those few I can recall were creepy and intrusive and unwanted. Not that I would have been rude about it, I always try to be kind and polite until we reach a point where I have made my position clear and the other person is refusing to listen. But even this clip, if a guy "shot his shot" like this, I'd be extremely suspicious. It would seem like pursuit of an agenda and I would not trust him one bit. It isn't even about "he just wants sex" suspicions...sex ain't no big thing to me...it's more I'd be looking at him as likely a con artist looking for someone to mooch or use.
Mr. Smooth is Mr. Fake. Nope, wouldn't trust it.
To circle back of why this is not the kind of person I would want to date, he's plastic-pretty, too young, and too shmoozy by far. I would retort with snark and send him on his way.
You're certainly entitled to your opinion of course but I entirely disagree. You seem to have little to no empathy for men who are perpetually "down on their luck" in love, who are constantly rejected despite giving it their very best and most heartfelt of efforts. How would you feel though, if it was your brother, your cousin, your son, your nephew, etc. who in that kind of situation, who was finding it extremely challenging to appear attractive to women, have them give him a chance, and to be able to find long-term love and meaningful romantic relationships? I have a feeling that you might just be a bit more sympathetic, in those cases or in that context. I just think you should try to at least walk in the shoes of someone in that kind of predicament, before pronouncing rather harsh judgement on those types of men.
This really has nothing to do with the OP. The matchmaker in the video is talking about women going after men they are interested in. You're trying to change/broaden the scope of the discussion by suggesting that women should approach men they're not interested in. That's not what's being discussed here.
It's honestly silly to suggest that women should APPROACH men who aren't even on their radar. It's one thing to say that a woman should "give guy a chance," but you're taking it a step further and saying that women should initiate with men they don't even initially find attractive. Nobody would even suggest that a man should approach women they don't find attractive.
Hell, even average or slightly below average women get sufficient attention from decent suitors that they rarely need to ask out men to get any chance of a relationship.
Not really. It depends a lot on what we are doing with our lives, whether we put ourselves in positions to make connections with others.
An introverted woman who does not go out socially is at a disadvantage, same as a man.
If she's doing online dating, sure, she'll have "suitors" but decent ones? Likely not. She may get so overwhelmed with the onslaught of garbage there, that she gives up on it. Lots of women do.
Guys need to understand that average to pretty women, really don't go walking through life with men chasing up to us trying to hand us bouquets. The "attention" we get in public just as we go about our lives, are construction workers grabbing and shaking their crotches and yelling at us. Starting around when we're 12.
And the quality of her suitors will only be as good as the company she keeps socially. I think that this was a big part of the problem I was having when I was young. I didn't have a bevy of "decent suitors" at all. I really only had (as far as I knew) one guy interested in being with me. Well. Two issues there. One: At least one other I know of had a secret crush on me but assumed he wasn't my type and said nothing. He only told me much later. Two: My Ex was actually threatening and physically assaulting any other guy he thought might be "his competition" and no one was telling me about this.
Look, I'm not gonna tell you how to be, we both know that'd be out of line. Obviously you proceed as you see fit. But I think it's kinda ridiculous in today's day and age for a woman to become aware of a man in her social circles that she has an interest in, and deliberately hold back letting him know in any kind of a way because he needs to think it was his idea. Ideally, there's enough repeat interaction and these two people just find that incidentally they both always end up talking to each other, and they enjoy doing that for a bit, and it warms up to a point they both pretty well suspect what the other is thinking and somebody drops a flirty invitation and it goes from there.
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