Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My wife and I are in a dilemma, She's very unhappy with her life.
Every morning we wake up and go running. I practically have to drag her out of bed to get her to
come along. Her mood becomes better as we warm up and by the end she's much happier. I try to
make it fun with interval sprints.
Afterwards I go to work and she goes to university. She's a high achiever, in her final year of her
medical sciences degree. Given her grades, she'll most likely be eligible for entry in her phD. She
also hates studying. I need to constantly be on top of her to get everything done. She hates how I
push her constantly.
I also have my own work. On top of that I have to constantly butt heads with her to make sure she
doesn't self-sabotage. She's always complaining and it honestly makes me sad with what I'm doing
with my life. I want her to be happy. I really do. But I don't think I'll want someone who's lazy to be
the mother of my children. If she's so upset about these things (she also hates cooking and cleaning
despite my mum doing most of the work) then how will she fare as a mother?
The way I see it, if she's going to be lazy it'll make me immeasurably miserable. If we stay together
and continue as is, she'll be unhappy.
If we part ways, it'll hurt her a lot. I did briefly suggest something remotely in this regards and she
broke down. I don't know what to do
My wife and I are in a dilemma, She's very unhappy with her life.
Every morning we wake up and go running. I practically have to drag her out of bed to get her to
come along. Her mood becomes better as we warm up and by the end she's much happier. I try to
make it fun with interval sprints.
Afterwards I go to work and she goes to university. She's a high achiever, in her final year of her
medical sciences degree. Given her grades, she'll most likely be eligible for entry in her phD. She
also hates studying. I need to constantly be on top of her to get everything done. She hates how I
push her constantly.
I also have my own work. On top of that I have to constantly butt heads with her to make sure she
doesn't self-sabotage. She's always complaining and it honestly makes me sad with what I'm doing
with my life. I want her to be happy. I really do. But I don't think I'll want someone who's lazy to be
the mother of my children. If she's so upset about these things (she also hates cooking and cleaning
despite my mum doing most of the work) then how will she fare as a mother?
The way I see it, if she's going to be lazy it'll make me immeasurably miserable. If we stay together
and continue as is, she'll be unhappy.
If we part ways, it'll hurt her a lot. I did briefly suggest something remotely in this regards and she
broke down. I don't know what to do
Sounds like the two of you are not a good match. The removing the band aid analogy works here. Sooner the better.
Leave her alone. Let her do as she please. You sound like a control freak. If she “hates” how you push her, treat her with a bit more respect and let her do things at her own pace. Screw running and intervals. Leave her at home to drink tea.
You don’t get to be annoyed, either. You are married to a high functioning adult. If she’s not up to your standards as the “mother of your children”, you need to dissolve the marriage and let her seek happiness with a better partner.
Leave her alone. Let her do as she please. You sound like a control freak. If she “hates” how you push her, treat her with a bit more respect and let her do things at her own pace. Screw running and intervals. Leave her at home to drink tea.
You don’t get to be annoyed, either. You are married to a high functioning adult. If she’s not up to your standards as the “mother of your children”, you need to dissolve the marriage and let her seek happiness with a better partner.
I agree with that ^^^
I also think that YOU, OP make her miserable and unhappy.
If you want changes but not a divorce, you should change first.
My wife and I are in a dilemma, She's very unhappy with her life.
Every morning we wake up and go running. I practically have to drag her out of bed to get her to
come along. Her mood becomes better as we warm up and by the end she's much happier. I try to
make it fun with interval sprints.
Afterwards I go to work and she goes to university. She's a high achiever, in her final year of her
medical sciences degree. Given her grades, she'll most likely be eligible for entry in her phD. She
also hates studying. I need to constantly be on top of her to get everything done. She hates how I
push her constantly.
I also have my own work. On top of that I have to constantly butt heads with her to make sure she
doesn't self-sabotage. She's always complaining and it honestly makes me sad with what I'm doing
with my life. I want her to be happy. I really do. But I don't think I'll want someone who's lazy to be
the mother of my children. If she's so upset about these things (she also hates cooking and cleaning
despite my mum doing most of the work) then how will she fare as a mother?
The way I see it, if she's going to be lazy it'll make me immeasurably miserable. If we stay together
and continue as is, she'll be unhappy.
If we part ways, it'll hurt her a lot. I did briefly suggest something remotely in this regards and she
broke down. I don't know what to do
Does not sound like she is unhappy in her life. It sounds like she is unhappy with you.
If you have to drag her out of bed to do anything, do not do it. She should have total control over her education, career, activities, with no pushing from you. You do not need to constantly butt heads with her, you choose to do it to control her life. This is not a match. I do not know why she eve married you, but the best thing to do is end it before you cause her any more damage.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuriousCove
My wife and I are in a dilemma, She's very unhappy with her life.
Every morning we wake up and go running. I practically have to drag her out of bed to get her to
come along. Her mood becomes better as we warm up and by the end she's much happier. I try to
make it fun with interval sprints.
Afterwards I go to work and she goes to university. She's a high achiever, in her final year of her
medical sciences degree. Given her grades, she'll most likely be eligible for entry in her phD. She
also hates studying. I need to constantly be on top of her to get everything done. She hates how I
push her constantly.
I also have my own work. On top of that I have to constantly butt heads with her to make sure she
doesn't self-sabotage. She's always complaining and it honestly makes me sad with what I'm doing
with my life. I want her to be happy. I really do. But I don't think I'll want someone who's lazy to be
the mother of my children. If she's so upset about these things (she also hates cooking and cleaning
despite my mum doing most of the work) then how will she fare as a mother?
The way I see it, if she's going to be lazy it'll make me immeasurably miserable. If we stay together
and continue as is, she'll be unhappy.
If we part ways, it'll hurt her a lot. I did briefly suggest something remotely in this regards and she
broke down. I don't know what to do
Doesn't sound like it. It sounds like you want her to live her life as you want it.
That's not love. Tough or otherwise.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
