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I don't take food off my spouse's plate. He has some serious bacterial issues in his mouth and I don't want any of that.
There have been sneak attacks on my plate while he's wearing that "evil nine-year-old boy getting away with something" grin. We went to a popular bakery in Palo Alto for dessert. I don't remember what dessert he chose but I had a nice thick wedge of coconut cake. Before I could even pick up my fork he stabbed the big end of the cake and took it for himself. Never apologized. Even now it makes me sad thinking about it. He ruined an otherwise nice day out.
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serious bacterial issue in his mouth,why cant he fix it?
It could be some leftover from their childhood where they would eat from their parents' plate.
Or they are looking for attention,if you would share your plate,you LOVE her.
I didn't read the whole thread to see how it developed. I have mixed feelings on the subject. I'm not sure if I'd eventually be annoyed, or if I'd just order myself more, with the understanding that she'd eat some of it.
I wonder if the people in this thread who act like it's no big deal are women or are people who regularly do this. Just curious...
Honestly, I'm not sure why it bothers me, but it does. Maybe it's just our animal instinct to guard our food. I think it's also disrespectful to take something off someone's plate without asking, especially when you barely know the person. It's even more disrespectful to continue doing it after there has already been a discussion about it. These people have no boundaries.
It would bug me for several reasons. For one, in American society you don't generally take something of someone else's without asking first-- in many cases it may not even be considered okay to touch someone else's belongings without asking first. It's also usually not considered socially-acceptable to even ask in some situations-- like if you don't know the other person well. IOW, to me it would indicate a person is socially-clueless and/or has no sense of what's appropriate. It could also be a hygiene thing, sticking a fork that has perhaps been in your mouth in someone else's food.
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Originally Posted by shelato
FWIW, I don't generally don't grab other people's food, but sharing food generally doesn't bother me unless we are talking about double dipping or if I think the other person didn't wash their hands before eating. If I had a discussion though with a person and they disregarded my feelings, the fact that they disregarded my feelings here would bother me.
I don't mind (and even like) sharing food IF that's what we've agreed on... not what one person has decided is going to happen without even asking me. (and I don't mind it if it's share and share alike-- but if there's a case where one person has a dietary restriction and the other person takes their food when they can't reciprocate and reduces what the person has available to eat, I'm not very into that unless there's a lot of food involved.)
It would bug me for several reasons. For one, in American society you don't generally take something of someone else's without asking first-- in many cases it may not even be considered okay to touch someone else's belongings without asking first. It's also usually not considered socially-acceptable to even ask in some situations-- like if you don't know the other person well. IOW, to me it would indicate a person is socially-clueless and/or has no sense of what's appropriate. It could also be a hygiene thing, sticking a fork that has perhaps been in your mouth in someone else's food.
I will admit that I have asked for a fry or two from a dining companion if I've ordered something else--but I would never just grab something off of their plate and would definitely respect "no" as an answer.
During their White House years,Al Gore was offended when Bill Clinton ate from his plate,when he complained,Bill thought it was a sign of friendship.
Al was not pleased.
It's a test to see how dominant you are and how you will react to the situation. They want to see if you're going to get angry and butt hurt, let them do it like a pushover, or playfully push their hand away and tease them, or simply how you might react in general. It gives them a general idea as to what kind of man you are. It's really not that hard to figure out but for a lot of men it is.
A struggle for dominance is wired into our species genetic makeup. Human beings still act very much in tune with their animal instincts. For women it's really fun to have their man play with them in this manner and not take things too seriously. It's a sign of a man who is grounded and confident in himself.
If you don't want them to do it, don't let them do it. Personally I'm the type of man where we'd both be picking food off each other's plates. I don't care. I like the variety.
This is a crock. I have never tested a man by taking food off his plate in my life, and i can't think of any women I know who would do that, either. Maybe it's a cultural or regional thing, but it is not normal to anyone I know.
Frankly, I’d see this behavior as a very bad sign. If you are willing to take my food from my plate without my permission, what else are you willing to violate and do without my permission or consent?
In my opinion, the implication that if your friend/SO would take a bit of food off your plate "without permisison" they just might rifle your wallet or rape you is taking it way too far.
The opposite, acting overly possessive about food, is a red flag for me. Obviously grabbing something without permission from someone you don't really know is not OK, but in a friendship or relationship, if you ask for a bite or a few fries it is a real turnoff if the other person refuses. It signals that the person does not like or trust you. In my family, when we get takeout or go out to eat, we often offer to share even if not asked so I find sharing normal behavior for friends/family.
I also think it's a cultural issue and by cultural I mean the family/friend environment one was raised in. I went to a public elementary school in a middle-class area and we kids would sit around at lunch and share our food. It was normal. Then I went to a private junior high with a lot of snobby rich kids and no one would share a thing. I definitely got that shocked "if you would take my food, what else would you do?!" vibe.
Sure hope you don't kiss him!
I think it's different among family or friends or a couple when an easy give-and-take relationship has been established, but on a first date? It's creepy and weird.
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Good point.
