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This is crossing someone's personal boundaries. It ranks up there with using the toilet while the other person is in the same bathroom.
There's another thread about a woman who tries to chat with her friend on the phone and the friend's husband continually interjects comments while the two of them are trying to have a personal conversation. This is crossing personal boundaries. It disgusts me to hear couples doing this stuff.
If it happens one time and I address it and it never happens again, fine. But this kind of thing has happened to me all the dang time. I think it's so ingrained in some people's minds and it's an impossible behavior to correct. It must have started for these people at a young age.
The crazy thing is it seems to extend to all women of different backgrounds. I've dated women from different countries and they did it too. Sometimes it was even worse than the American women.
Every woman I've ever been with has taken food off my plate and often without asking. I've had women try it on a first date! The most annoying part is when I ask "hey, I'm going to go grab some takeout. Would you like anything?" and she says no she isn't hungry. But when I get home all of the sudden she's hungry and starts eating off my plate and sometimes asks if she can eat half. Of course I get irritated, then she acts like I'm the bad guy for not offering some of my food.
Most of my male friends have told me that their female partners do this as well, so it doesn't just seem like my bad luck.
Have you experienced this in a relationship? Do men do this as well?
I've never done that to anyone and the only person who ever did that to me was a business acquaintance. He would take us to lunch, gobble down his own food, yapping the whole time, then start forking off our plates. One time he was headed for my quiche and I grabbed his wrist and held my fork over his hand and told him I was going to stab him if he tried, lol.
This is classless, IMO. Can't you upgrade the type of women you ask out?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lepoisson
If it happens one time and I address it and it never happens again, fine. But this kind of thing has happened to me all the dang time. I think it's so ingrained in some people's minds and it's an impossible behavior to correct. It must have started for these people at a young age.
The crazy thing is it seems to extend to all women of different backgrounds. I've dated women from different countries and they did it too. Sometimes it was even worse than the American women.
This is very weird. I don't know anyone who does this or would think it was OK to do this, but as someone else pointed out, maybe it's an age thing. I am an older person.
I've never done that to anyone and the only person who ever did that to me was a business acquaintance. He would take us to lunch, gobble down his own food, yapping the whole time, then start forking off our plates. One time he was headed for my quiche and I grabbed his wrist and held my fork over his hand and told him I was going to stab him if he tried, lol.
This is classless, IMO. Can't you upgrade the type of women you ask out?
This is very weird. I don't know anyone who does this or would think it was OK to do this, but as someone else pointed out, maybe it's an age thing. I am an older person.
I agree, ultimately just poor manners. I wasn't raised to help myself to other people's things. I order what I want to eat, not scrounge food off another's plate. If someone wants to share from their plate, they'd offer.
Don't ask her directly is what I suggest if you can help it. Find ways to ask her this that sound helpful rather than irritating unless you know she can handle and likes direct. Maybe ask if she can try to let you know beforehand to order more. Maybe you should try to ask for half her food and see what happens first.
Again, I think it's incredibly rude to help yourself to the food on somebody else's plate without asking or being offered. My reaction would be about teaching people how to treat me. Considering the red flag her behavior raised, I'd also want to see how she reacted to my directness about her rudeness. Just to clarify, I'm not talking about screaming at her with veins bulging out of my forehead. I'd say it matter-of-factly. Maybe she'd give a convincing apology and reconsider her attitude, or maybe she'd get offended and leave. Either way, mission accomplished.
Typical man doesn't hear what the woman says. She very clearly said she wants french fries, so get an extra order of french fries. Problem solved.
I don't think so. She is playing games, sending a mixed messages. Just say, "you know what, sure, I'll have some fries." Not "I will eat yours." That's obnoxious.
People sometimes just make a mountain out of a molehill. I think it’s just a normal, affectionate gesture between loving couples. If you’re not even willing to share your foods with your woman, what else would you share with her? My SO and I share foods all the time. Sometimes, we like both courses so we ordered both and eat off each other’s plate. Today, my SO went out to a new sandwich place, and he told me how delicious it was. The portion was very generous so he saved half for later. When he picked me up from my appointment, he told me about it. I just said how yummy, and he just handed it to me and said “you can have it if you like”. When we eat something that we think delicious, we usually feed the other too.
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