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Many years ago, I met a guy at an event and we had a nice time. He told me he would call me and I never heard from him. Months later out of the blue, he called and asked if I wanted to go to a concert with him. No explanation offered for the radio silence. I told him I was busy and couldn't talk but I would call him later that evening. He said that would be fine. I never called him. As with most things, actions speak louder than words.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Entire things sounds odd to me. If you made plans to go out, there would be no reason to call. Just text a couple of days ahead of the date to re-confirm and talk in person.
I wouldn't sit by the phone waiting for some guy to call no matter what the circumstances. I have too many other things on my plate. And if someone promises they will call at a certain time, I usually tell them to just call whenever, because I can't predict when I'll be free to talk.
If he wants to talk to me, he'll call. If I'm available, I'll answer.
What was the purpose of this call anyway?
On saturday I was hoping we would make plans to go out on Sunday so I was kinda bummed not to hear from him. On Tuesday the purpose was just to chat so I didn't mind. I was not sitting by the phone. In fact, we picked Tuesday because I had plans on Monday and Wednesday and Thursday evenings and he was trying to accommodate that.
Generally speaking I let the guy lead.
It's a catch 22...you don't want to appear clingy, but you don't want to be a pushover either. Geez....
On saturday I was hoping we would make plans to go out on Sunday so I was kinda bummed not to hear from him. On Tuesday the purpose was just to chat so I didn't mind. I was not sitting by the phone. In fact, we picked Tuesday because I had plans on Monday and Wednesday and Thursday evenings and he was trying to accommodate that.
Generally speaking I let the guy lead.
It's a catch 22...you don't want to appear clingy, but you don't want to be a pushover either. Geez....
There's a third option. Don't be available at all times.
What’s the status of this sushi date? “We’ll go to get some sushi this weekend” or “let’s meet at the House of Sushi at 7:00 p.m. on Saturday.” If the former, my bet is it won’t happen. If the latter, unless you hear some sort of confirmation from him, I’d give you 50-50 odds.
He isn’t that interested. No use to keep prompting. Find someone who can follow through. It isn’t hard if they mean what they say. This sounds like he might use you as entertainment but isn’t truly eager to contact you. So, unless you like this tepid casual friend vibe, hardly seems worth wasting energy on.
The fundamental quality of every healthy relationship is trust. Someone who doesn't bother call you more than once? Just remember this: You've just started dating him, which means he is on his best behavior. It goes downhill from here.
Am I being too nice? I met a guy on Match. We texted back and forth, then I gave him my phone number. We talked for a while. He is nice, we have things in common. He is in a different place in his life in that he still has a daughter at home and I am an empty nester but that does not seem like a big deal as I have respect for a dad who puts his kid first. THen he said he would call me late on Saturday morning. By sunday evening I hadn't heard from him and decided I had been ghosted. FINALLY I broke down and texted him "Where'd you go?". He apologized, said he had gotten busy with work and kid stuff and asked if it was a good time to call. We talked for a while and made plans to go out for sushi this coming weekend. Also made plans to talk again on Tuesday night. GUess what? Tuesday night came and went and he didn't contact me.
Now, I'm not at all a clingy person. I don't really care if I talk to him or not, assuming that we are actually going to have this sushi date. He lives about a hour from me. I'm not all goo goo eyed over him and I'm prepared to cut a guy some slack that sometimes stuff comes up.
But I'd rather he NOT Make plans to call me and then not call me than Make plans to call me and then not call me, right? Should I mention this to him over sushi? Wait and see if a second date develops?
If the sushi doesn't work out that's the end of it. I'm desperate but not that desperate.
I would not assume that there's a sushi date with this guy in your future. Certainly not this weekend. Where is his daughter on the weekends? How old is this daughter, and how is it he's available to date in the evenings? Maybe he's not available.
Make your own plans for the weekend. That way, if he calls, you'll be pleasantly surprised, but if you don't hear from him, you'll be enjoying your own activity. No loss.
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