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Yea I guess I do seem kinda of needy, but for different reasons than the usual. I dont have friends here in KC yet and family is far far away. We just got along so well immediately even after a few months it seemed like we had known each other for years! When he found out he would be moving here he said I should come with him and I said okay and two weeks later I moved to KC. According to him at that point he was thinking that we would move here, fall in love then live happily ever after. I moved here thinking this would just be a really fun experience. I knew we could learn alot from each other. I am young and cant figure out which direction I want to go so I jump into things with the mindset that this could be it! I have only lived in one other decent sized city and when I did I was too young to get to experience it. He has spent his life in KC and loves it here, and had promised to show me the advantages of living here! I am definately not city material! I dont like living here but having him here made it easier. I am realizing that I am mostly sad because he just left me ALONE and that this is not just about him. I think if I could just get used to the area and living alone I will be just fine. Thanks keeperk for pointing that out to me and thanks to all who have posted here. All I needed was something to help me see more clearly. He told me once that he has never been happy and I told him maybe that is because he looks for it in the wrong places. I guess I should take my own advice huh? He has alot to be proud of at work and a nice paycheck to go along with it so hopefully he will find happiness in that. I was never going to give him what he wanted out of the relationship. He is a great guy, but just not right for me. We are looking for different things out of life plus he likes order and I am reckless! I find happiness in friends, family and the mountains! I would like to think that moving here was not a mistake and that it was what I needed to point me in the right direction. Hopefully I can make the most of my time here and walk away from this wiser! (I am tied into a lease so it will be a while! UGH!) Thanks again! SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!!!!!
I am so sorry that you are sad.
I know this is an old cliche' but when one door closes, another one opens.
Maybe there is something bigger and better in store for you.
Get out there and start living life. You only knew this person for a very short time. What did you do before him?
Could you just be afraid living in another area and you don't know what is in store for you?
Go out, have fun ...there is someone out there waiting for you!
Well, I am so sorry this happened to you. It must feel very lonely. I know it sounds trite, but time is really the only thing that will heal things. In the meantime, can you join groups or clubs to meet other people? Hey, at least you have a good job, right? Sorry, that's all I can think of to say. I guess I would be angry too. Perhaps you can save some money and move? Best wishes.
Well I text him earlier and told him I was sorry for the way I reacted. I asked him to call when he is not busy. He never responded. I did my part the rest is up to him I guess. I will not beg for his attention. I dread coming home and finding that he came and got all of his stuff. I just hate how all of this has happend. I know it was foolish of me to just pack up and move with somebody I didnt know well enough, especially since I was aware that he might want more than friendship out of it. I honestly did believe I was establishing a friendship that would last a lifetime. I dont think he will respond to my text, but it is probably best that I just leave it alone right?
Last edited by Sic Semper Tyrannis; 07-16-2008 at 01:13 AM..
Reason: alone ends with an e not a d! LOL
Well I text him earlier and told him I was sorry for the way I reacted. I asked him to call when he is not busy. He never responded. I did my part the rest is up to him I guess. I will not beg for his attention. I dread coming home and finding that he came and got all of his stuff. I just hate how all of this has happend. I know it was foolish of me to just pack up and move with somebody I didnt know well enough, especially since I was aware that he might want more than friendship out of it. I honestly did believe I was establishing a friendship that would last a lifetime. I dont think he will respond to my text, but it is probably best that I just leave it alone right?
Hi there,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I know what it's like to be lonely, so I totally understand where your coming from.
I had a similar situation...except we were great friends for 3 years, not 5 months. (I am female too btw). He expressed interest in dating me the whole time and the whold time I said no. Until a few months ago, I decided to give him a chance. Well, at first everything was great!!! Then soon after we started dating he got offered a job in another state. He told me he wanted me to come with him. I too thought "maybe this is it!!!" and said that I would try to look for work in that state too. We were making all these plans to have a great future together but I have a steady career here and can't just up and leave, so he moved on his own. We said we would move in together eventually....
Well...everything went to hell in a handbasket as soon as he moved. He was totally different, didn't seem to care at all about me anymore, completely distanced himself and just acted like nothing was better than his new job with his new place, in his new state. It was really sad. I was very hurt and upset and I tried to fix things. But you know what? One person can only do so much. It was up to him to try too and he didn't put any effort in. So I stopped putting effort in. It's hard as you know, but you have to let him go. That is what I did. I miss the friendship, I wish the relationship worked, but for some reason it didn't. He was a really great friend (or so I thought) for 3 years, it was a friendship that I too, though would last a lifetime. I tried to accept him as my friend after all of this, but I can't, I'm angry. So I understand exactly where you're coming from. I'm so sorry that you're all alone in KC and don't know anyone. Maybe there are some people here on this site from your area and you can try to make friends that way? It's hard, I know and I'm sorry. As for the text message, he may or may not reply, I don't know him, so I don't know....but I know how frustrating it is and waiting for him to answer is awful...I know. But you have to try to just forget him and move on.
Everyone is right, time will heal things. You just have to give it time. I think once you let him go, although it will be hard, you will feel better in the long run. I have let my "friend" go. I am still sad and still angry, but feel much better about myself that I did so.
Good luck to you! I hope you start to feel better very soon!!
He came back this morning to get some of his stuff. I was supposed to be out of town this weekend so we were equally as shocked to see each other. He still claims that all he wants out of life is to be with me. I want our friendship back but I dont know if I can trust him anymore.
put his stuff in storage and pay for the first month. keep the original receipt and send him a certified copy letting him know where his stuff is. have the locks changed on your apartment and his name removed from any agreements. try and cautiousy make friends at work. you sound like a spontaneous person and need to watch yourself. if by the time the lease is up your not happy where you are then waste no time and move back to where your family is. have no regrets and never look back or dwell on mistakes. everyone makes them. you grow from adversity.
How far away is he from you? Just because he got this job, does that mean that its over between the two of you?
I don`t understand why the two of you couldn`t keep in touch?
Yeah...that was pretty sh*tty of him to just up and leave you, after moving you there, but it sounds like he has made his decision to stay, so if you think that you could be happy where you are at, do your best to make the best of it! You can always make more friends, if he doesn`t want to keep in touch anymore. Good luck!
Grieving is a process unfortunately That was a rotten thing he did to you and I'm sure you are really hurt and I'm sure a bit surprised that someone you considered a friend who take off and leave you there. The fact that he didn't ask you to come might mean that he is not ready for a relationship that is deep. You just have to take it day at a time. Talk to yourself and say you are bright, cabable and loveable. You just have to walk it out and that is hard but you will make it.
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Sorry, that's all I can think of to say. I guess I would be angry too. Perhaps you can save some money and move? Best wishes.
Good luck!
That was a rotten thing he did to you and I'm sure you are really hurt and I'm sure a bit surprised that someone you considered a friend who take off and leave you there. The fact that he didn't ask you to come might mean that he is not ready for a relationship that is deep. You just have to take it day at a time. Talk to yourself and say you are bright, cabable and loveable. You just have to walk it out and that is hard but you will make it. 
