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I hear what you are all saying, but I'm the only one who has lived in our relationship, and I want to know how to repair it. In the year hes been gone I don't feel any different, and even when we were talking, then not talking and fighting I never ever thought that we wouldnt be together in the end. I can't imagine my life without him and I cry every single day.
Right, but you are asking advice from people who don't know you or him, so you can't have it both ways
There is no "One Way" to get someone back. Either they will or they won't.
Take it from a young, single guy, that what he is really saying is "Please, Leave me alone." That is the 100% honest truth. No one is going to go all the way through a divorce to try to get you back, that makes no sense at all.
Don't take this the wrong way, but he is saying those "niceities" to get you off his back and off his phone
You two have been together since you were pretty young, and still are. I agree with sassy about him playing with your mind. I also agree most men like women who are dependent on themselves. Maybe you should date too?
Also past behavr is predictor of future behavior. If he listened to is family and let them make his decisions the chances are he will do it again. Personally I would let him know since he has taken this stance (no more marriage) I would start causally dating, let him know. tell him you love him but are letting him go since this seems to be his wish. they say if you love someone let them go if they come back they were yours if not they never were. Have respect for yourself. Do not be so needy. If God closes a door he opens a window. New opportunity and people await you. Maybe mister right is waiting to see you are free. Do you deep down honestly think this relationship will ever be what you need? Grow as a person and be the best you can be. If he comes back around and you are still interested give it a try. If not you have not really lost anything.
Why do some women automatically think that if a man wants nothing to do with us that he is playing with our mind? The guy isn't playing with her mind at all, he was quite cut and dry, he has said, "stay away." Men are pretty clear and final when they say this. With the way that she pushes him, she is considered lucky that he answers the phone at all. She is pretty obsessed with him and he knows it, if I were him, I would be playing it exactly as he is...he knows how to keep her from going over the edge and from getting close enough to him. He seems to know her better than she knows herself. He knows how to keep some balance for his own sanity, from her insanity. But he is smart to do so until the divorce is final, it all falls back to the, "keep your friends close, and your enemies closer" theory. The man knows what he is doing. He is a separate entity with his own rights and feelings who wants to be left alone, with a soon to be ex wife who he is keeping in check, because she has given him no choice to. I'm sorry, I do empathize with her because she is having difficulty swallowing the situation, but more so for him because she is victimizing him. It has to be pretty bad for a man to say, "we'll work things out after the divorce," I can only really imagine what her actions have been to put his back against the wall to say that. The result is because he was pushed and is fed up. Like some of us aren't capable of driving a man to the brink with our emotional BS. Some women just lay it on thicker and do not know when to stop.
Well you wouldn't move to be with him (and he did make a move with you), so I reckon you need to move to where he is or keep your job in Florida and sign some papers. Is your job more important than your marriage? Ok...there's your answer! Glad I could help.
Well you wouldn't move to be with him (and he did make a move with you), so I reckon you need to move to where he is or keep your job in Florida and sign some papers. Is your job more important than your marriage? Ok...there's your answer! Glad I could help.
I agree....the point is moot now because she should have considered his feelings when they first moved to Fl.....however, it if were me and we all know how....crazy lol.... I am.......If I was at the point she is at right now and I really wanted him back I'd be in Kansas City . The worst that can happen is she finds out he really doesn't want to be with her but then at least she has closure to move on and she knows she tried.....that's just me though, i'd go to the ends of the earth to save a relationship with somone I truly loved.......
Well you wouldn't move to be with him (and he did make a move with you), so I reckon you need to move to where he is or keep your job in Florida and sign some papers. Is your job more important than your marriage? Ok...there's your answer! Glad I could help.
Exactly... after reading all the posts it's kinda obvious.
He moved with you for your job a couple of times and his family told him that he should stand his ground for once and concentrate on himself rather than you all the time. The obviously spoke to him about it enough to change his mind about the Florida move. When he actually put you through the test of what you put first, you chose the job. It seems to him that you've made your choice. He's being strong right now with the help of his family and is afraid that if he sees you again, he'll lose some of that strength.
He feels as though he were your sidekick for all those years. You can choose to address his feelings about all this rather than just telling him that you miss him all the time like as if he were your security blanket or something.
And he wants the divorce because he said we never had any problems the whole time we were together, only when we got married. It was just the timing of events that has him associate getting married with our problems.
Some of the advice that you are getting on here is sound advice;
I'm reading what the others are, but I feel that he has someone else
and he is putting you off until , he can think of what to do next
Move on
He sound like he's DONE
I can empathize with what you may be feeling, especially when you care for someone to this degree;
But you cannot wish someone or force them into wanting what you want,
leave it alone and if it was meant to be , he will find his way back to you, hopefully you will be available for him
Wish you the best
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and we all know how....crazy lol.... I am.......If I was at the point she is at right now and I really wanted him back I'd be in Kansas City 
. The worst that can happen is she finds out he really doesn't want to be with her but then at least she has closure to move on and she knows she tried.....that's just me though, i'd go to the ends of the earth to save a relationship with somone I truly loved.......
