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Let's say you married someone that never told you that they could not have children for medical reasons but you mentioned it several times while dating that you wanted children and your new bride/groom agreed that they wanted children also.
Well, you finally found out the truth......( in this order)
You ask them why they lied and never told you and their reponse was: I did not want to lose you. You're the best thing that has ever happened in my life.
I'd stay and work it out. Where there's a will there's a way and if there's love between them I am pretty sure they'll find a way to deal with the issue.
I would probably have to go. that is too painful a situation to stay in. I would be so hurt. If they loved me that much, I think they should have told the truth in the beginning.
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Originally Posted by Ron.
Let's say you married someone that never told you that they could not have children for medical reasons but you mentioned it several times while dating that you wanted children and your new bride/groom agreed that they wanted children also.
Well, you finally found out the truth......( in this order)
You ask them why they lied and never told you and their reponse was: I did not want to lose you. You're the best thing that has ever happened in my life.
but don't you think that it's terrible to lead someone on like that? especially after hinting about it all during the relationship?
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Originally Posted by Mr.Cat
I'd stay and work it out. Where there's a will there's a way and if there's love between them I am pretty sure they'll find a way to deal with the issue.
Yes, your spouse did not tell you the truth about that minor thing - yes, I consider the inability to have children as minor because: there are other options out there! But, you did marry them out of love. Love can work miracles.. At that point, why not look into other options? When you pick someone to marry, you are marrying them because they compliment you - not because of the potential babies that could be made, that is just a sidenote; it is only a part of the equation.
I would say that trust would be jeopardized to an extent, but you did not marry them completely under false ideas. They wanted children, too, and maybe they are hoping that you love them so much that you could find a way to work through this problem together. Afterall... had they been honest with you from the get go, would you have walked away and not given them a chance? Maybe they fell in love with you because they saw the chance that your love could give them.
but the OP said that both people were agreeing about kids, but one person was keeping it secret that they couldn't have kids? I just don't think it's that simple to say "oh well , we love each other, we'll work through it". IMO.
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Originally Posted by chance2jump
You married for better and for worse.
Yes, your spouse did not tell you the truth about that minor thing - yes, I consider the inability to have children as minor because: there are other options out there! But, you did marry them out of love. Love can work miracles.. At that point, why not look into other options? When you pick someone to marry, you are marrying them because they compliment you - not because of the potential babies that could be made, that is just a sidenote; it is only a part of the equation.
I would say that trust would be jeopardized to an extent, but you did not marry them completely under false ideas. They wanted children, too, and maybe they are hoping that you love them so much that you could find a way to work through this problem together. Afterall... had they been honest with you from the get go, would you have walked away and not given them a chance? Maybe they fell in love with you because they saw the chance that your love could give them.
The lying is the tough thing to get over. That might require some work as its a trust issue. A marriage counselor might be in order.
Beyond that, there are many ways to create a family. Many children are in need of good homes, maybe adoption might be something to consider. If the husband is unable to make children, the wife could be artificially inseminated. If the wife isn't able to concieve or carry a pregnancy, maybe a surrogate.
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