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Wow, you have the most wacked out judgement ever. How do you KNOW she was SECRETLY enjoying it? Are you serious? You must be one of those creepy "No means Yes" types...
Do you even know what chivalry means? You must be confusing chivalry with general concern for the welfare of others. Would you not help a blind man find his walking stick? What if your sister was in the latina's postion?
Also, it's called the right approach. You don't approach someone going psychotic by taking the girl away or by challenging him. What you do is stick around and try to calm him down and divert attention.
Sorry but there is no logic behind anything you wrote.
What does having the brains to earn yourself a high ranking position have ANYTHING to do with physical strength? So just because Shaq O Neil is dating... Chelsey Clinton, she doesn't need protecton if SHaq decides to go off on her tiny 5'5 frame and beat her up cuz she's a Harvard grad hoping to run for secretary of state one day and she takes jujitsu on her free time. Yeah, okay.
Now, I'm not saying that you MUST step in when you see someone getting abused in public. You have a choice and walking away is your right but please don't conjure up things in your head like "she looked like she was enjoying it." That's just creepy.
My brother was dating a woman once. He would be home sleeping because he had to work early and he would often get calls to come rescue this woman. She would be in a bar, often dressed in little tight shorts and was frightened because some guy wouldn't leave her alone, was not taking "no" for an answer. She would call my brother to rescue her and he would quickly get up and head over to rescue her, the poor girl would be crying and very grateful when he arrived.
Sometimes this would happen a couple times in a week. She would be crying and telling him how afraid she was because she didn't know what the guy was going to do to her and sometimes some guy was apparently roughing her up and she had reason to be scared. Luckily my brother was always right there to save her from these men and was willing to give up a night of sleep and go to work exhausted. This girl was very cute, tiny - no match for these men. He'd get her safely home and then get back home himself and try to get a little sleep.
This went on for some time until another brother's girlfriend sat him down and flat out told him that this woman "enjoyed" having these men threatening and frightening her and that he was being foolish because his knight-in-shining-armor could easily get him killed someday.
My brother was dating a woman once. He would be home sleeping because he had to work early and he would often get calls to come rescue this woman. She would be in a bar, often dressed in little tight shorts and was frightened because some guy wouldn't leave her alone, was not taking "no" for an answer. She would call my brother to rescue her and he would quickly get up and head over to rescue her, the poor girl would be crying and very grateful when he arrived.
Sometimes this would happen a couple times in a week. She would be crying and telling him how afraid she was because she didn't know what the guy was going to do to her and sometimes some guy was apparently roughing her up and she had reason to be scared. Luckily my brother was always right there to save her from these men and was willing to give up a night of sleep and go to work exhausted. This girl was very cute, tiny - no match for these men. He'd get her safely home and then get back home himself and try to get a little sleep.
This went on for some time until another brother's girlfriend sat him down and flat out told him that this woman "enjoyed" having these men threatening and frightening her and that he was being foolish because his knight-in-shining-armor could easily get him killed someday.
My brother was dating a woman once. He would be home sleeping because he had to work early and he would often get calls to come rescue this woman. She would be in a bar, often dressed in little tight shorts and was frightened because some guy wouldn't leave her alone, was not taking "no" for an answer. She would call my brother to rescue her and he would quickly get up and head over to rescue her, the poor girl would be crying and very grateful when he arrived.
Sometimes this would happen a couple times in a week. She would be crying and telling him how afraid she was because she didn't know what the guy was going to do to her and sometimes some guy was apparently roughing her up and she had reason to be scared. Luckily my brother was always right there to save her from these men and was willing to give up a night of sleep and go to work exhausted. This girl was very cute, tiny - no match for these men. He'd get her safely home and then get back home himself and try to get a little sleep.
This went on for some time until another brother's girlfriend sat him down and flat out told him that this woman "enjoyed" having these men threatening and frightening her and that he was being foolish because his knight-in-shining-armor could easily get him killed someday.
That's a different situation all together. It actually sounds like a generalization that just because one girl has a mental imbalance and she enjoys the thrill of going to bars ALONE at night, all woman in abusive relationships must have a similar imbalances. As a passerby, is it fair to make such a ridiculous claim that that particular girl who was getting humiliated by her bf in public was SECRETLY enjoying it?
There's a significant difference between filling a void through humiliation and filling a void (insecurity) through flattery (attention seeking) which is much more common amongst insecure youths who have a flare for theater. Your brothers friend obviously enjoys the attention being given to her on both sides of the party. On one hand, she's getting hid on (not yelled at) and on the other she has someone she can rely on to protect her. I have yet to meet anyone who enjoys being humiliated by their significant others in public.
The main thing is the assumption that was made. They don't know this girl. They don't know why the guy is going psychotic on her. They don't know their relationship history.... and they're making these assumptions just so that they can ease their own conscience. If they're thinking about it long after the fact, obviously they have a little guilt lingering on their minds.
Location: somewhere close to Tampa, but closer to the beach
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you better believe id step in..and i could care less if my life might be threatened.. I once had a really good friend of mine who started dating the wrong guy... vanished for a while and when i saw her later on..confided in me about a situation where both her boyfriend at that time..and two of his friends repeatedly raped her one night after some party they'd gone to...It was so sad to see what a shell remained of a person so once full of life...
when in my 20's, i worked in a nightclub..and had alot of experience with handling situations between fighting couples..it was quite obvious, at least to me which women were just looking to create drama..still,..we'd always step in as necessary Even if we simply walked both of them out of our venue.....so no, chivalry is NOT dead...any male or female who think this is simply LAZY...and self centered..i myself aren't afraid of risking my life to keep my girlfriend or wife, sister, nieces, mother or female friends safe..if needed.. I NEVER..want to see that "look' i saw in an old friend's eyes...even as a man..it was disturbing..
..Part of my duty as a man..is to make sure those around me are safe..drama queen or not..
Yesterday I was at the mall witha group of friends (three girls and three guys, including me) and we saw a guy yelling at his woman outside Gap. He was going crazy, like he specifically wanted to humiliate her in front of everybody. She tried to walk away but he grabbed her and pulled her toward him and kept on with the tirade. She was a real cute Latina with curves in all the right places so I don't think she had any shortage of men wanting her. But the thing about it is that she seemed to like it: the puppy dog eyes, the pouty frown, and the shriveling stance somehow made her appear as a submissive who secretly likes this kind of behavior.
After the scene was over we got into a discussion, which quickly degenerated into a gender war argument. Basically, the women said he had no right to treat her like that and one of us should have stepped in. Me and the rest of the dudes didn't agree with that chick logic. I took the forefront and pointed out the following:
1. She basically seemed to enjoy that kind of treatment, so why interfere?
2. Women hold prominent roles in society nowadays. We recently nearly had a female president and then, after she dropped out, we recently had a female vice-president. There are many women in the military and in the police force. One of the security guards at the mall is a female. I also pointed out to the loudest chick how she was in kickboxing class and her instructor was a 5'2" skinny brunette who made a living teaching men over 6 feet how to defend themselves. Thus, with all the advances women have made there is no reason why women can't take care of themselves.
3. Two events in my life changed my outlook on the whole situation:
--a friend of mine was leaving a house party and noticed a guy pushing around his girl. my friend told the guy to bug off and led the girl away from him, then my friend left. he drove miles away to his apartment and when he got out of the car to go inside the guy drove up to him, pulled out his gun, and threateningly said, "if you ever get in my business again you'll regret it", and then he drove off.
--my brother was at a house party when he noticed a guy pushing around a girl. my brother pushed the dude away and tried to get the girl away from him but a second later --BAM!-- the dude cracked a chair over his back and had to be rushed to the hospital and get stitches.
Chivalry is dead. Let it stay that way. In today's modern society there is no reason why a woman can't take care of herself, unless she secretly wants to be abused. Does anyone agree with me?
Gosh, I have to agree with you. I think unless you witnessed a serious safety issue such as a man beating a woman, pushing her to the ground, etc it's best to mind your own business. The woman you described was in a public place, it seemed like she's dealt with this behavior before and she has stuck with him. If she was really fearful for her life, she would have started running or screaming or calling the police on her cell phone or something. It would be different if she were a close friend or family member and you could talk to her about it, but I think with strangers you need to be careful. I work at a hospital and a drunk man was fighting with his wife outside a bar. A customer pushed him and he fell backwards, sustaining serious life threatening brain injuries. The person who pushed him may face criminal charges, even though he was trying to help the lady. And of course the wife is on her husband's side (this abuse has gone on for many, many years so she's used to it) and she wants to sue the guy who hurt him for everything's he worth, even though he was trying to defend her. I think the best thing to do when you hear or see an abusive situation is call the police, contact the bouncer, mall security, whatever the case may be.
Yesterday I was at the mall witha group of friends (three girls and three guys, including me) and we saw a guy yelling at his woman outside Gap. He was going crazy, like he specifically wanted to humiliate her in front of everybody. She tried to walk away but he grabbed her and pulled her toward him and kept on with the tirade. She was a real cute Latina with curves in all the right places so I don't think she had any shortage of men wanting her. But the thing about it is that she seemed to like it: the puppy dog eyes, the pouty frown, and the shriveling stance somehow made her appear as a submissive who secretly likes this kind of behavior.
After the scene was over we got into a discussion, which quickly degenerated into a gender war argument. Basically, the women said he had no right to treat her like that and one of us should have stepped in. Me and the rest of the dudes didn't agree with that chick logic. I took the forefront and pointed out the following:
1. She basically seemed to enjoy that kind of treatment, so why interfere?
2. Women hold prominent roles in society nowadays. We recently nearly had a female president and then, after she dropped out, we recently had a female vice-president. There are many women in the military and in the police force. One of the security guards at the mall is a female. I also pointed out to the loudest chick how she was in kickboxing class and her instructor was a 5'2" skinny brunette who made a living teaching men over 6 feet how to defend themselves. Thus, with all the advances women have made there is no reason why women can't take care of themselves.
3. Two events in my life changed my outlook on the whole situation:
--a friend of mine was leaving a house party and noticed a guy pushing around his girl. my friend told the guy to bug off and led the girl away from him, then my friend left. he drove miles away to his apartment and when he got out of the car to go inside the guy drove up to him, pulled out his gun, and threateningly said, "if you ever get in my business again you'll regret it", and then he drove off.
--my brother was at a house party when he noticed a guy pushing around a girl. my brother pushed the dude away and tried to get the girl away from him but a second later --BAM!-- the dude cracked a chair over his back and had to be rushed to the hospital and get stitches.
Chivalry is dead. Let it stay that way. In today's modern society there is no reason why a woman can't take care of herself, unless she secretly wants to be abused. Does anyone agree with me?
Twice I've helped women in that situation and they just get back the beast who beats them then they turn on me. I did that for some one several times and she'd always go back to him and then side with him against me. Last time I spoke to her years ago, she'd called at an ungodly hour saying she was going to kill herself....I asked her if she needed any pills....never heard from her again, but she is still alive.
My brother was dating a woman once. He would be home sleeping because he had to work early and he would often get calls to come rescue this woman. She would be in a bar, often dressed in little tight shorts and was frightened because some guy wouldn't leave her alone, was not taking "no" for an answer. She would call my brother to rescue her and he would quickly get up and head over to rescue her, the poor girl would be crying and very grateful when he arrived.
Sometimes this would happen a couple times in a week. She would be crying and telling him how afraid she was because she didn't know what the guy was going to do to her and sometimes some guy was apparently roughing her up and she had reason to be scared. Luckily my brother was always right there to save her from these men and was willing to give up a night of sleep and go to work exhausted. This girl was very cute, tiny - no match for these men. He'd get her safely home and then get back home himself and try to get a little sleep.
This went on for some time until another brother's girlfriend sat him down and flat out told him that this woman "enjoyed" having these men threatening and frightening her and that he was being foolish because his knight-in-shining-armor could easily get him killed someday.
This same scenario played out again and again with my friend's boyfriend's sister. My friend would be having a date with her boyfriend or studying or just sleeping and he'd get the hysterical call from his sister that a guy was hitting on her at the bar and wouldn't leave her alone (or something to that effect-different drama every time), he'd rush out and get in fights all of the time, my friend's night would be ruined. This sister of his was a total drama queen and I think she loved the control she had over her brother...she was never nice to my friend and I think she was happy when they eventually broke up. This girl also seemed to bring it on herself-going to bars alone, getting drunk and hanging on guys, going back to their apartment with them, and then crying that they were trying to date rape her. Years later, she is still a drama queen and even, moved to L.A. for a short time to become an actress!
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