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Any "man" would stand by and watch that kind of scene and say nothing and then use the excuse of women's lib to justify his actions is NOT a man but a coward. I refer to those as "males" so that they don't contaminate real man by definition.
One person doing something to help an abused woman like in the OP's situation isn't going to help the woman, but if it were happening to her all the time and people were constantly intervening by calling the police or security, it would help her see that these things are not normal and eventually might lead her to start seeing straight again, but unfortunately, women don't snap out of it that easily.
Chivalry is dead. Let it stay that way. In today's modern society there is no reason why a woman can't take care of herself, unless she secretly wants to be abused. Does anyone agree with me?
I always hold the door open for women.
Some women play a very dangerous game of control over the man by testing and vexing him to the point of fury. I don't know if she was this type or not.
But in today's society THEY WILL THROW THE MAN IN JAIL FIRST and then ask questions later if he does'nt control his anger.
As a guy you really can't step in even if you wanted too.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON, YOU COULD GET HURT OR END UP IN JAIL
Last edited by DeanACM; 12-15-2008 at 08:22 PM..
Reason: messed up
Abuse is not only physical, but psychological. It consists of isolation, degredation, intimidation, blame, fear, etc... It's a mind game and it happens to strong, educated women just as often as those who aren't. You feel trapped with no where to go and have no self worth. You're brainwashed into believing that it's all your fault because you don't know how to treat him well.
My therapist asked me, "Do you know how to boil a frog?". She said you put the frog in cold water where they're comfortable and then slowly increase the heat. Before they realize it, they're cooked. This is how domestic abuse happens. You start out feeling like you're in a healthy relationship with a man that loves you and then slowly, he kills your insides.
It takes a huge effort to see things differently... it took close to an army for me to wake up and realize what he had done to me.
Yes. And, the guy doesn't have to be some poor thug to be an abuser. He can make $200,000 a year and be abusive.
You're right. They destroy you from the inside. It's about control, degredation and humiliation.
A woman loses their self worth.
They become broken down, brainwashed... walking on eggshells, trying to please them... trying to avoid the next episode which, of course, is always your fault.
But, it's really not about pleasing them, either. Because it's always going to happen again -- no matter what they do.
My best friends soon to be ex is a millionaire and is a very accomplished abuser...uses his fists, intimidation, words, threats and innuendos...
There are no class barriers for abusers...
Quote:
Originally Posted by World Citizen
Yes. And, the guy doesn't have to be some poor thug to be an abuser. He can make $200,000 a year and be abusive.
You're right. They destroy you from the inside. It's about control, degredation and humiliation.
A woman loses their self worth.
They become broken down, brainwashed... walking on eggshells, trying to please them... trying to avoid the next episode which, of course, is always your fault.
But, it's really not about pleasing them, either. Because it's always going to happen again -- no matter what they do.
Yes. And, the guy doesn't have to be some poor thug to be an abuser. He can make $200,000 a year and be abusive.
You're right. They destroy you from the inside. It's about control, degredation and humiliation.
A woman loses their self worth.
They become broken down, brainwashed... walking on eggshells, trying to please them... trying to avoid the next episode which, of course, is always your fault.
But, it's really not about pleasing them, either. Because it's always going to happen again -- no matter what they do.
It's scary, but the abusers don't know that they're doing this. It's a mental abnormality. In fact, many think they do this because they love the girl so much. He used to say to me, "It's because I love you so much that I feel so passionate and get angry".
It's scary, but the abusers don't know that they're doing this. It's a mental abnormality. In fact, many think they do this because they love the girl so much. He used to say to me, "It's because I love you so much that I feel so passionate and get angry".
If they do not know they are doing it and it is a mental abnormality, why don't they beat the crap out of their bosses, the neighbors, folks on the subway??? Why don't they tell everyone that they abuse their wife if they can't help it? Because they know it is wrong and their wives or SO has been programmed to take it.
They are just mean, hateful, controlling sadists...that's why.
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,259 posts, read 24,766,887 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by What!
Yesterday I was at the mall witha group of friends (three girls and three guys, including me) and we saw a guy yelling at his woman outside Gap. He was going crazy, like he specifically wanted to humiliate her in front of everybody. She tried to walk away but he grabbed her and pulled her toward him and kept on with the tirade. She was a real cute Latina with curves in all the right places so I don't think she had any shortage of men wanting her. But the thing about it is that she seemed to like it: the puppy dog eyes, the pouty frown, and the shriveling stance somehow made her appear as a submissive who secretly likes this kind of behavior.
After the scene was over we got into a discussion, which quickly degenerated into a gender war argument. Basically, the women said he had no right to treat her like that and one of us should have stepped in. Me and the rest of the dudes didn't agree with that chick logic. I took the forefront and pointed out the following:
1. She basically seemed to enjoy that kind of treatment, so why interfere?
2. Women hold prominent roles in society nowadays. We recently nearly had a female president and then, after she dropped out, we recently had a female vice-president. There are many women in the military and in the police force. One of the security guards at the mall is a female. I also pointed out to the loudest chick how she was in kickboxing class and her instructor was a 5'2" skinny brunette who made a living teaching men over 6 feet how to defend themselves. Thus, with all the advances women have made there is no reason why women can't take care of themselves.
3. Two events in my life changed my outlook on the whole situation:
--a friend of mine was leaving a house party and noticed a guy pushing around his girl. my friend told the guy to bug off and led the girl away from him, then my friend left. he drove miles away to his apartment and when he got out of the car to go inside the guy drove up to him, pulled out his gun, and threateningly said, "if you ever get in my business again you'll regret it", and then he drove off.
--my brother was at a house party when he noticed a guy pushing around a girl. my brother pushed the dude away and tried to get the girl away from him but a second later --BAM!-- the dude cracked a chair over his back and had to be rushed to the hospital and get stitches.
Chivalry is dead. Let it stay that way. In today's modern society there is no reason why a woman can't take care of herself, unless she secretly wants to be abused. Does anyone agree with me?
Life would be great if we could all be ostriches...
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