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Are you strictly a parent? Are you their friend? A little of both?
My son and I have an incredible relationship. I had to be mom and dad and balance both with a dash of friendship to keep him honest and communicative. He turned out pretty well.
We have a complex, but not complicated, relationship. I am dad first and foremost, but also dictator, playmate, shrink, referee and cook. I try to be friendly first and foremost, because there is nothing better a little boy can have than a bigger, older version of himself as a good friend. But when my mouthy kids get too close or think of me as too much of a peer, the line of demarcation between adult and child has to be drawn firmly.
My 14-year-old daughter has grown to be very mature and self-sufficient. Holy cats, she's been a delight the past few years. I rarely have to correct her on anything. She asks me lots of questions, and I answer them.
My 12-year-old son requires constant attention, chiefly because he's a major airhead, just like his father at that age. He and I have the same sense of humor, so we laugh a lot together. But it seems as if I'm always on his case about something, including this morning when he left his backpack at home with his science paper. He likes talking about politics. Again, I answer as completely as I can, and try to discuss both sides of an issue.
My 9-year-old son is highly energetic and mischievous, but a go-getter when it comes to homework and chores. He and I probably do the most things together. He likes hanging out with his old man the most, despite his fierce independence.
So all three require utterly different approaches. But I believe strongly that the primary role of a parent isn't to be a friend to your children, but to be a teacher. If one child seems to get it, then it's okay to relax a little more around them. If another child is a bonehead about his schoolwork, then you have to be stricter.
Personally, as much as I love my children, I look forward to the day they're semi-grown so that I can stop worrying about being a parent, and just be their dad.
Are you strictly a parent? Are you their friend? A little of both?
My son and I have an incredible relationship. I had to be mom and dad and balance both with a dash of friendship to keep him honest and communicative. He turned out pretty well.
Since I have been Mom and Dad to my 10 year old son for the last 9 years and will probably be Mom and Dad ( dad half the time maybe now) I want to be the best parent to my son I can be.. It isnt easy with a boy! he wants his Dad and he is such a " boy" all testosterone!!
karma
I'm a little of both to my son, but he's such a well-behaved kid that i really don't have to discipline him. I share custody with his father, and I think his father is the more authoritative parent. I'm the more fun-loving and free-spirited one. I like it that way though :-)
My 9 year old is awesome. We talk all the time. One on one about anything. We can joke about something that makes no sense and just laugh. He has some funny lines from movies and things.
There are times he feels he can cross the line of being a friend and loses sight of me as being the authority figure and he has to get knocked off his high horse. When he come to terms he realizes I am the Dad.
He still cherishes our closeness and I think I will have an easier time when he goes through his teenage problems. I open him up about little things now so I can be there when the bigger issues come up later.
My 9 year old is awesome. We talk all the time. One on one about anything. We can joke about something that makes no sense and just laugh. He has some funny lines from movies and things.
There are times he feels he can cross the line of being a friend and loses sight of me as being the authority figure and he has to get knocked off his high horse. When he come to terms he realizes I am the Dad.
He still cherishes our closeness and I think I will have an easier time when he goes through his teenage problems. I open him up about little things now so I can be there when the bigger issues come up later.
That's really cool. A lot of people say that you shouldn't be friends with your kids, but I disagree (to a certain extent, of course). Some of the funnest times in my life are when I'm joking around with my son, or playing video games with him and his friends.
I am more of the disciplinarian but I also enjoy them all tremendously.
As CPG said, the relationship with each child is different because all of them have different needs. My oldest is high maintenance, my second son almost never needs to be disciplined as he seems to always know what is expected and my other children seem to need as much as I would expect.
For the most part, my children are closer to me than they are my husband but when he is home the children and all the pets are joined at the hip with my husband....then Monday comes and they are my side kicks...
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can you give me that recipe??
