Ugh, drama free zone or welcome to the curb...population you....a vent. (girl, family)
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I'm still trying to recover from your first paragraph! What kind of woman would be upset that you still had a picture of your wife up.
Well, there's A picture and there's all walls covered in pictures! We don't know which case we deal with. As I happen to have dealt with a situation involving a whole house covered with family AND pet pictures, but not a single one of US, I can sort of relate to it. In my case there wasn't a single picture of the late wife actually, which turned out to be a sign of much deeper problems affecting his daughter and the way she was raised...
Well, there's A picture and there's all walls covered in pictures! We don't know which case we deal with. As I happen to have dealt with a situation involving a whole house covered with family AND pet pictures, but not a single one of US, I can sort of relate to it. In my case there wasn't a single picture of the late wife actually, which turned out to be a sign of much deeper problems affecting his daughter and the way she was raised...
That's weird, did he have pics of his ex, but not the late wife?
Well I'm strictly speaking of a "late wife" not an ex-wife. And I can understand every wall being covered , but I would never expect a widower to remove all of the pictures of his ex-wife.
Ok, so basically...I started back onto plentyoffish after my first relationship after widowing ended. I didn't approach the situation the best but the gal I first dated had a HOST of issues...starting with a complete hissy over the fact that I had pictures of my wife up in the house still. (Um...our kids live there still too if you hadn't noticed).
So put the photos in THEIR rooms, NOT in the living room.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy
So, now Im dating a new gal and she messages me tonight that she saw that I'd recently been back on plenty of fish. Well, somehow with my profile hidden a gal had managed to message me so I went on and checked the email and my profile...yep it's still hidden....no idea how that happened.
Other people's behavior (i.e., emailing you) doesn't have to dictate YOUR behavior (i.e., checking that email). If you're still curious about who's emailing you, you're not reading for a monogamous relationship. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but be up front about it - don't pretend all of your energy is with one person when it's really not. You'll BOTH get burned.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy
Irregardless, she is questioning me...
Irregardless, she will either accept my explanation or not...I just know I'm not putting up with ANY drama right now. We shall see.
Then stop inciting it. And for the love of god, stop using the word "irregardless."
So put the photos in THEIR rooms, NOT in the living room.
Other people's behavior (i.e., emailing you) doesn't have to dictate YOUR behavior (i.e., checking that email). If you're still curious about who's emailing you, you're not reading for a monogamous relationship. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but be up front about it - don't pretend all of your energy is with one person when it's really not. You'll BOTH get burned.
Then stop inciting it. And for the love of god, stop using the word "irregardless."
So put the photos in THEIR rooms, NOT in the living room.
Other people's behavior (i.e., emailing you) doesn't have to dictate YOUR behavior (i.e., checking that email). If you're still curious about who's emailing you, you're not reading for a monogamous relationship. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but be up front about it - don't pretend all of your energy is with one person when it's really not. You'll BOTH get burned.
Then stop inciting it. And for the love of god, stop using the word "irregardless."
Well, irregardless of your opinion...my profile was supposed to be hidden (and it was) so I was curious how they managed to email me and needed to log on to verify that my account was still indeed hidden. I didn't respond to the email and I never found out how they managed to email me.
Listen, she had every right to ask you about it and it probably says more about her that she did just come out and ask - I give her credit for that if she asked you calmly and not accusatory. You are absolutely right that it is how she takes your explanation that is key.
Yes there are plenty of loonies out there but there also are plenty of completely normal and well adjusted people out there for you. You don't need the drama. I am a widow so I can relate. I have a good friend that is also a widow and got married last year to a great man. Being a widower is something you are going to live with and will be a part of you for the rest of your life. My friend has two kids, she has pictures up, she still talks about her late husband, she is still very close to his family. She still writes about her late husband, even writes poems about him and her new husband is totally accepting of all of that. Not an ounce of jealousy or insecurity in him. They love each other, he knows that and he lets her grieve her late husband anyway she sees fit. I hope to meet a man like that. I have another widow friend who's boyfriend is almost the opposite. He is very insecure though. I could not live like that. Life is what it is and I am all for moving forward but you can't just forget a spouse dying.
It is worth waiting for the right person that can be accepting of your life. I would rather be alone and happy and with someone and miserable!
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, but I would never expect a widower to remove all of the pictures of his ex-wife.
, ok, i get it, I had to go back and reread it. 
