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Do you guys think alike or do you usually stick it out?
A family with a lot of drama, especially too many divorces, is a red flag. Another big problem would be finding out about sexual abuse...or any other type of abuse. Alcohol is more of an annoyance, but the daughters of alcoholics can play weird passive-aggressive games, and I avoid them.
We were very loud...at the breakfast table, the dinner table, or on the phone. People might interpret that to sound like anger issues and ask why we raise our voices.
It will depend on the degree of "crazy". A lot of people have dysfunctional family memberse and if you excluded them, you'd limit your dating pool. It really depends
Why would it be a red flag if somebody comes from a family with a lot of divorces? It's not exactly their choice if they were born into that family, they could probably be the most well rounded compared to their thug cousins, 2-3x divorced aunts/uncles, divorced grandparents and such.
First things first, nobody has a perfect family. Mine is pretty damned awesome, but they have their drama, too, and I'd be lying if I said they didn't. They are very supportive, but they're not perfect.
That said, my SO of the past five years has a family that could kindly be described as challenging. Tons of dysfunction, thankfully nothing along the lines of the illegal...but his upbringing has caused some damage, set the stage for things that still very much affect his life. When I met him, he was estranged from his father...they've since reconciled, but it's not the healthiest relationship. Family can cause fallout that seriously impacts people and their adult relationships, even years later.
I'm not going to sugar coat it. Family relationships set the stage for how one handles things in other relationships in their lives. If you are with somebody whose primary familial relationship are unhealthy and negative, building a strong relationship could be an uphill battle...there's a lot of dysfunction, a lot of disordered thinking, and, in the end, as the partner who hasn't been around for all the family dynamics, you will always be something of an outsider, in many cases. My saving grace is that we have a healthy geographic distance between where we are, and where his family is...and it's a good thing. Were they local to us, it's hard to say how things would have played out.
Why would it be a red flag if somebody comes from a family with a lot of divorces? It's not exactly their choice if they were born into that family, they could probably be the most well rounded compared to their thug cousins, 2-3x divorced aunts/uncles, divorced grandparents and such.
Sometimes people do act opposite of "bad" examples they see in thier family. To a certain extent , everyone has a "crazy" family. My 1st boyfriend had the sweetest family ever and he was quite a bit off. So they aren't always the same as the family.
I'm not going to sugar coat it. Family relationships set the stage for how one handles things in other relationships in their lives. If you are with somebody whose primary familial relationship are unhealthy and negative, building a strong relationship could be an uphill battle...there's a lot of dysfunction, a lot of disordered thinking, and, in the end, as the partner who hasn't been around for all the family dynamics, you will always be something of an outsider, in many cases.
It wouldn't be an uphill battle if the person had enough sense to get away from all of it, and it would be a good thing to refrain from inflicting it on the partner.
It wouldn't be an uphill battle if the person had enough sense to get away from all of it, and it would be a good thing to refrain from inflicting it on the partner.
We're over a thousand miles away and have very limited contact, and there's still fallout. There would be if he never had any contact with any of them. You can't erase the past, and how it shapes who you are. The most you can do is address it. The damage inflicted upon him for years at the hands of relatives is a done deal, and it affects many facets of his life. Just because you get away from it doesn't mean it leaves you. Just my experience.
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