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Who cares if he adds you? Facebook is an alternate universe - it's really for people who don't know each other, or who haven't seen each other in years. You know everything going on in his real life. If he were cheating, there are better ways than Facebook to do it. And you'd NEVER find out about those!
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year, and he won't add me as a friend on Facebook. He's told me that he doesn't log on to Facebook very often and pretty much all the people who are on his friends list added him first and he doesn't talk to them. He has a private profile, however, so I can't see who his friends are or how often he uses the site. I have jokingly complained to him about not adding me because I didn't want to make a big deal about it, but it really hurts my feelings because it makes me think that he either doesn't think very much of me or doesn't want to publicly acknowledge our relationship to his friends. I've never sent him a friend request because I don't want to be rejected by MY OWN BOYFRIEND, but he knows that I would gladly accept if he sent one to me. I understand that social networking sites have the potential to cause drama in relationships, so that's why I haven't really pushed the issue, but am I wrong to feel even somewhat slighted by this??
Seriously... there are bigger things to get bothered over then being added on as a friend to facebook. How about you dealing with him in real life and drop facebook period? Your relationship may last a lot longer then dealing with him on a computer..
Why is so important? Its FACEBOOK for crying out loud. Ok, let me say that again. IT is FACEBOOK.
I'm sorry but if your boyfriend not adding you as a friend is something you're so worried about, you need to reassess your priorities. In the grand scheme of your relationship, FB is so unimportant especially when there are bigger things to be worried about. And if you feel insecure about the relation b/c of the FB thing, maybe you should talk with him.
Its just seems so silly and unimportant when he is in your life every single day.
Is that what we've come to now, worrying about whether a significant other is willing to add the other partner as FB friend? WOW! Priorities people; priorities.
Ahh...the thread has been revived, I see. I'm the original poster who was complaining about my boyfriend not adding me as a Facebook friend. I recently confronted him about it, and he didn't really give me a straight answer about why he wouldn't add me. He was pretty evasive, but the gist of what he said was that he prefers to keep his Facebook private and he felt that adding me as a friend might cause problems. He knows that it bothers me, but he's still not going to add me, so I just have to deal with it.
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Originally Posted by Asheville Native
He is lying through his teeth, and you are a fool for not dumping him yesterday.
And yeah, I agree with you. I still don't think that he's cheating, but as I said previously, I don't think his behavior indicates that our relationship is very high on his priority list.
Ahh...the thread has been revived, I see. I'm the original poster who was complaining about my boyfriend not adding me as a Facebook friend. I recently confronted him about it, and he didn't really give me a straight answer about why he wouldn't add me. He was pretty evasive, but the gist of what he said was that he prefers to keep his Facebook private and he felt that adding me as a friend might cause problems. He knows that it bothers me, but he's still not going to add me, so I just have to deal with it.
And yeah, I agree with you. I still don't think that he's cheating, but as I said previously, I don't think his behavior indicates that our relationship is very high on his priority list.
Agree to disagree, is all I can say and keep saying. No two people think EXACTLY the same in everything, and your situation is prime example of that. The real question for YOU is: can you stay in this relationship w/o controlling his move, or should I say, w/o telling him to do every single things YOUR way? Like you said, he prefers to keep certain things private from you, and he is entitled to privacy from anyone -- no matter who you are to him, you are entitled to your privacy, and so does he. Can you live with that? If not, then you should find someone else that is not so private.
The real question for YOU is: can you stay in this relationship w/o controlling his move, or should I say, w/o telling him to do every single things YOUR way?
Ahh....here we go again. Once again, I have no desire to control him or have him do everything my way. My being upset about him not adding me as a Facebook friend was (and still is) because I felt it was an indication that he didn't truly care for me and wasn't serious about the relationship. Obviously, it is not the only issue in our relationship that makes me feel that way, but it's one of them. I UNDERSTAND that two people can be in a happy, healthy relationship and not feel the need to be Facebook friends. However, in my PERSONAL situation, I feel like his refusal to add me is indicative of a larger issue.
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