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I've hurt a good woman, but maybe for the right reason.
I met Anne just 4 months after separating from my ex-wife. Similarly, she too had separated from her husband around the same time.
Anne was very supportive and extremely giving during the early days of my separation. I reciprocated by listening to her, giving her advise, and holding her when she needed to be held. We motivated and empathized with each other during those difficult days as our marriages came to an end. Our relationship has lasted almost two years.
In June of 09, I took a much needed vacation. I returned to my homeland where I spent 10 days amongst close family and friends. For ten solid days I encountered people who remembered me and were genuinely pleased to see me again. On father's day, family members called just to express their gladness at knowing that I was back home even if for a short while.
After returning to the US mainland, two weeks passed before Anne and I saw each other. During that time I came to the conclusion that I someday want to return to the land of my birth within the next 10 years.
I was determined to inform Anne of my decision the day I was to see her. I went over to her apartment where she received me in very sexy and alluring attire. My thoughts were immediately lost in the presence of my sweet, beautiful, curvaceous, intoxicating, dark haired Irish lass. The next morning I told her of my plans. She cried, was lost for words, and was saddened before finally asking me to leave.
For the next two days I received text, voice, and e-mail messages from Anne. With each message she sounded or read more paused and resigned than the previous. But, in her very last voice message she stated how she wants to continue with our relationship regardless of the future outcome. That really lost me.
It pains me to know that I've hurt her. It pains me to loose her. But, given that I want to someday return to my homeland - a place she would never be able to adapt to - I do not want to use or take advantage of her not even for one day. That would be dishonest and selfish. I want her to be happy and do not want to waste her time. It is painful to end our relationship. Yet, in all fairness to her I believe it is the right thing to do.
Why would any woman want to carry on with a relationship which will inevitably end some day?
Doesn't she understand that I've chosen to end our relationship for her own good?
But, given that I want to someday return to my homeland - a place she would never be able to adapt to - I do not want to use or take advantage of her not even for one day. That would be dishonest and selfish. I want her to be happy and do not want to waste her time. It is painful to end our relationship. Yet, in all fairness to her I believe it is the right thing to do.
Why would any woman want to carry on with a relationship which will inevitably end some day?
Doesn't she understand that I've chosen to end our relationship for her own good?
Female input is welcomed.
While any relationship may and more often than not WILL end some day, I think it's noble and honest of you to not waste her time. As painful as the end might be now, it'll be way more painful later, particularly if children get involved in such equation.
That's a tough situation man, but at the same time 10 years is a rather long time. Who knows how your plans will change between now and then. You obviously have feelings for her and she has feelings for you, so why not just see where things go?
That's a tough situation man, but at the same time 10 years is a rather long time. Who knows how your plans will change between now and then. You obviously have feelings for her and she has feelings for you, so why not just see where things go?
Well, if he is dead set on going back to his country (and it sounds like he is) and he knows for a fact she wouldn't be happy there, then he did the right thing. You're right, though, that people change, circumstances change... in 10 years even he may not want to go back...
Well, if he is dead set on going back to his country (and it sounds like he is) and he knows for a fact she wouldn't be happy there, then he did the right thing. You're right, though, that people change, circumstances change... in 10 years even he may not want to go back...
Very true, but at the same time this girl is a big girl and apparently is willing to take the chance knowing the consequences, so the OP might as well take a shot as well. Who knows, she might turn out to be the love of his life.
Very true, but at the same time this girl is a big girl and apparently is willing to take the chance knowing the consequences, so the OP might as well take a shot as well. Who knows, she might turn out to be the love of his life.
Tough situation all around.
Children are the main problem in such situations. Then you get stories like "Not Without my Daughter"... If they don't plan on children, I guess they can break their own adult hearts any way they please...
Children are the main problem in such situations. Then you get stories like "Not Without my Daughter"... If they don't plan on children, I guess they can break their own adult hearts any way they please...
I've hurt a good woman, but maybe for the right reason.
I met Anne just 4 months after separating from my ex-wife. Similarly, she too had separated from her husband around the same time.
Anne was very supportive and extremely giving during the early days of my separation. I reciprocated by listening to her, giving her advise, and holding her when she needed to be held. We motivated and empathized with each other during those difficult days as our marriages came to an end. Our relationship has lasted almost two years.
In June of 09, I took a much needed vacation. I returned to my homeland where I spent 10 days amongst close family and friends. For ten solid days I encountered people who remembered me and were genuinely pleased to see me again. On father's day, family members called just to express their gladness at knowing that I was back home even if for a short while.
After returning to the US mainland, two weeks passed before Anne and I saw each other. During that time I came to the conclusion that I someday want to return to the land of my birth within the next 10 years.
I was determined to inform Anne of my decision the day I was to see her. I went over to her apartment where she received me in very sexy and alluring attire. My thoughts were immediately lost in the presence of my sweet, beautiful, curvaceous, intoxicating, dark haired Irish lass. The next morning I told her of my plans. She cried, was lost for words, and was saddened before finally asking me to leave.
For the next two days I received text, voice, and e-mail messages from Anne. With each message she sounded or read more paused and resigned than the previous. But, in her very last voice message she stated how she wants to continue with our relationship regardless of the future outcome. That really lost me.
It pains me to know that I've hurt her. It pains me to loose her. But, given that I want to someday return to my homeland - a place she would never be able to adapt to - I do not want to use or take advantage of her not even for one day. That would be dishonest and selfish. I want her to be happy and do not want to waste her time. It is painful to end our relationship. Yet, in all fairness to her I believe it is the right thing to do.
Why would any woman want to carry on with a relationship which will inevitably end some day?
Doesn't she understand that I've chosen to end our relationship for her own good?
Female input is welcomed.
You obviously don't love her, though she clearly loves you, so you are right to cut her loose.
Even though this hurts her now it would not be right to string her along when she is just trying to buy herself some time that you will change your mind and fall in love with her too.
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