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OMG. You're very well educated and he wants you to sit there and look pretty. Honey, you're not a trophy, so don't let this jerk treat you like one. This situation is not going to improve, and you have more working against you than your different backgrounds - he's an insensitive brute! Do yourself a favor and move on very quickly. Good luck to you! You will find someone better than this loser - yes, LOSER!
The boyfriend and I are so different, I wonder if this is contributing to some of the issues we have in our relationship.
Some background: I am black, he is white. He grew up in Westchester county, I grew up in Harlem. He is seven years my senior. He's traveled a lot, I haven't. He works in Manhattan making decent money managing accounts for an A/V company (a nine to five), I've worked for Hooters for two years (working at night, primarily).
We are obviously very different in a lot of ways, but we care a lot about each other and we were virtually inseparable pretty much from the moment we met.
But I can't ignore some of the issues we deal with and I wonder if it has to do with us being so different.
I know he's older, done a ton of stuff, and is generally a very mature individual, however, he talks to me like a child, and I'm tired of it. He honestly makes me feel like a moron and I'm very well educated. He has no problem calling my opinions 'ignorant' and 'stupid'. Mostly I just give up arguing because he gets very agitated and I'm a calm, peaceful, submissive person in general. If I complain about him treating me like a child, he insists that he's doing nothing of the sort, that sometimes I just have moments in which I don't exhibit a lot of common sense.
He is very appearance oriented, and likes to approve of the stuff I wear before I wear them outside. I've complied with the vast majority of his requests about the way I dress, I know for a while he hated that I dressed too 'sexy' when going out, and I toned it down a lot. But I find his attempts to micro-manage what I wear sometimes just a little absurd.
Sometimes I feel like I'm a pet to him, he very much likes going out with me and with his friends and people comment on how pretty I am (he loves that), as long as I don't talk too much, sit still, and look proper.
He says casually bigoted things about certain racial groups from time to time, not that I don't either at times (in a joking manner), but he seems absurdly preoccupied with stereotypes about certain groups. If I discuss it with him he stops (at least temporarily).
Now I've listed all the bad here, of course there's a lot of good. He's smart fun, and very attentive to my needs. He's trying to make me more verbal and expressive. He wants to expose me to a lot of things I haven't been exposed to. I don't doubt he is devoted to me, and I'd never have to worry about him cheating on me. Our sex life is awesome (we have sex daily up to twice a day). He never stays angry long and he's very affectionate.
I quit reading at "He makes me feel like a moron and he talks to me like a child". No one has the right to speak to anyone else this way especially if you are dating no matter what your background and age difference is.
Dump this guy and move on to someone who actually respects you and wants you in their lives for who you are without the sex involved. The sex is a bonus after the fact (in my opinion). The sex and the physical looks don't last forever so you need to make sure you have someone you are friends with if you plan on staying with them for many years to come.
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