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Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
10,471 posts, read 15,839,921 times
Reputation: 6438
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What do you fight about? Name one thing. Name the latest thing. You can't fight abut "nothing." There's an underlying issue, but you didn't say what it was, so I'm asking.
Pack up your stuff when she is not there and get the heck out of there! Don't turn back at all. Get a divorce lawyer to make it official and move on. Don't bother with a pastor cause all they want to do is counsel you to stay together - as you have already experienced. Make sure you don't have children with this woman, because she will just use them agaisnt you every chance she gets, just like she throws out the I can't live with out you and I love you so much crap.
Thank you for all the honest replies, to answer the question to what it is we are fighting about...its honestly everything and anything that has potential to have difference of opinion. There is no agreeing on anything, housework, ideas to fix the relationship, family ( a very big one ), lifestyle, I cant seem to get a word in edgewise on anything and its a constant battle. Of course some things dont draw out as much aggression as others, but its honestly like everything is a disruption.
I dont want to make it out like all arguments stem from petty origins, because they dont, but I wont deny some things do come out of these squabbles and become a snowball effect.
Thank you for all the honest replies, to answer the question to what it is we are fighting about...its honestly everything and anything that has potential to have difference of opinion. There is no agreeing on anything, housework, ideas to fix the relationship, family ( a very big one ), lifestyle, I cant seem to get a word in edgewise on anything and its a constant battle. Of course some things dont draw out as much aggression as others, but its honestly like everything is a disruption.
I dont want to make it out like all arguments stem from petty origins, because they dont, but I wont deny some things do come out of these squabbles and become a snowball effect.
It seems peculiar that two people would yell at one another over "How to fix the relationship."
I'm sorry things are bad, but it is hard for anyone to give responsible advice if they do not understand the dynamics of your relationship.
Fights are always about aggression, Ghandi had the right idea, don't respond to anyones rage in a counter rage, sit down relax, if it comes to physical aggression, let the other do the violence, when two people fight it's always obvious what the problem is, both parties see fighting as a normal in their life. Refuse to be this way, if you have to be fighting someone all the time, you should pay attention to the old adage,"it takes two to Tango".
My advice would be to break it off, it's not going to get any better on it's own. Probably get worse until something happens that can't be undone. Cut your losses and move on so you can focus on school and your future. It won't be easy, but it sounds necessary at this point. Like Funymann said, get out before she gets pregnant or one of you gets pushed too far and does something that will land either of you in trouble with the law.
Sit down and write each other a letter why you think you fight all the time and then exchange letters. If you are afraid to break it off totally just seperate and date for awhile again. I don't think it will work out because of differences and unhealthy communitcation history. But this way you will get your breathers and know for sure for yourself.
Reality is, it's time to leave. Neither of you are happy, you don't have a huge amount of anything invested now so get out while the getting is good. Life is too damn short to spend it unhappy.
A lot of us make mistakes that we regret. You have made one. Marrying this woman was a mistake and you knew it. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in something and it's hard to get out even when we know we should. Okay...so move on. You don't have kids. You don't own anything. Just get a lawyer and get out. Don't worry about what she says (I love you or whatever). This relationship is not about love or you wouldn't be treating each other this way. At this point, it doesn't matter what you fight about. Just move on and don't look back.
Normally I recommend working out problems but frankly you and your wife have about nothing going for your marriage. Two short years as a young couple with no kids is well, frankly, not worth the hard fight of reconciling a marriage this viciously unhappy. If you had kids, or had a solid history of loving commitment prior to this, then it's worth the fight. But you don't.
Move. On. Now.
Your marriage = FAIL.
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