Marriage is slowly killing me ( Husband, no kids ) (Christian, wife, woman)
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I have been married for two years, and have slowly fallen into a pit that is taking a toll on my health. My wife and I fight quite regularly, on average when we are together I would say at least 4 to 5 days a week. These fights do range in aggressiveness, but every fight is quite heated. We are always up in one anothers faces and there is such visible potential for physical violence. My wife has punched me while driving the car, and I have grabbed her and held her in a rage. I know this sounds terrible, and I know it is. I saw so many red lights prior to this that I felt would lead to this, and its slowly coming to pass. I dont want to end up doing something to really hurt one another ( such as hitting her or infidelity-- not saying their is potential for that right now, but in bad marriages as I see now, nothing is out of the picture ). My greatest fear is that I physically hurt her as she has hit me before and in my anger I feel so much rage. I have been very ill about 6 times in a year, 3 times in hospital from stress ( one illness lasting 2 months). I cant take another year like this. We are young, I am about to finish my degree but know that I cant do another year like we have had in the past. I can feel great differences in my physically health ( practically no immune system-get sick very easily) mental health ( I cant think on a lvl that I used to, very exhausted ) and emotionally. I feel I need to remove myself, but she doesnt want me to leave. She falls down and tells me how it will kill her, how she loves me and will always love me, all these things that I think should solidify a relationship. The only problem is things like this have happened before and nothing changes, two years of constant fighting has almost destroyed my faith in each other. When she says those things I dont want to leave her....it confuses me, its up and down up and down. As a university student (26 yrs old ), I am not in the greatest financial bracket, and we cant afford professional help. We have seen a pastor once, but he did not believe in divorce, and since she was crying and telling him she loved me, he questioned my ability to love and why I would want to leave, even though I pretty much explained to him what was going on ( health wise, fighting, potential for physical violence etc.) I used to be a Christian but have lost my faith, she is a christian and that poses a problem also. I am so lost and alone. I saw what was going on, I ignored what I saw, and now were are here. I dont like what I see right now, I am terrified for the future, and cant live a life like this...I cant live with myself if I do something like abuse or cheating ( even though I feel the verbal abuse is already there ). I cant carry on in a normal life, I feel like a shell, I pretty much have to drop out of this year of school ( its just started ) because this continues to worsen. Any help or advice, please.
Its clearly a very toxic relationship. Both of you need counseling. I'd get out now before a pregnancy happens, then before you get yourself involved again later in life, seek counseling.
Its clearly a very toxic relationship. Both of you need counseling. I'd get out now before a pregnancy happens, then before you get yourself involved again later in life, seek counseling.
Screw the counseling. It seldom works and you need something in your life together to make it worth the effort by both parties. This is seldom the case and even less likely if there are no children. Just leave and take whatever share the courts will give you.
I have been married for two years, and have slowly fallen into a pit that is taking a toll on my health. My wife and I fight quite regularly, on average when we are together I would say at least 4 to 5 days a week. These fights do range in aggressiveness, but every fight is quite heated. We are always up in one anothers faces and there is such visible potential for physical violence. My wife has punched me while driving the car, and I have grabbed her and held her in a rage. I know this sounds terrible, and I know it is. I saw so many red lights prior to this that I felt would lead to this, and its slowly coming to pass. I dont want to end up doing something to really hurt one another ( such as hitting her or infidelity-- not saying their is potential for that right now, but in bad marriages as I see now, nothing is out of the picture ). My greatest fear is that I physically hurt her as she has hit me before and in my anger I feel so much rage. I have been very ill about 6 times in a year, 3 times in hospital from stress ( one illness lasting 2 months). I cant take another year like this. We are young, I am about to finish my degree but know that I cant do another year like we have had in the past. I can feel great differences in my physically health ( practically no immune system-get sick very easily) mental health ( I cant think on a lvl that I used to, very exhausted ) and emotionally. I feel I need to remove myself, but she doesnt want me to leave. She falls down and tells me how it will kill her, how she loves me and will always love me, all these things that I think should solidify a relationship. The only problem is things like this have happened before and nothing changes, two years of constant fighting has almost destroyed my faith in each other. When she says those things I dont want to leave her....it confuses me, its up and down up and down. As a university student (26 yrs old ), I am not in the greatest financial bracket, and we cant afford professional help. We have seen a pastor once, but he did not believe in divorce, and since she was crying and telling him she loved me, he questioned my ability to love and why I would want to leave, even though I pretty much explained to him what was going on ( health wise, fighting, potential for physical violence etc.) I used to be a Christian but have lost my faith, she is a christian and that poses a problem also. I am so lost and alone. I saw what was going on, I ignored what I saw, and now were are here. I dont like what I see right now, I am terrified for the future, and cant live a life like this...I cant live with myself if I do something like abuse or cheating ( even though I feel the verbal abuse is already there ). I cant carry on in a normal life, I feel like a shell, I pretty much have to drop out of this year of school ( its just started ) because this continues to worsen. Any help or advice, please.
Josh, you guys are in a very unhealthy relationship. I'm not so sure either of you really even know what love is. All this aggression, anger, rage and co-dependency must be dealt with before worse things happen.
I know you don't think you can afford professional help, but you really need it. Contact the United Way in your city and ask them to refer you to a therapist that will charge you on a sliding scale. There should be help for you that you can afford if you take the time to look for it okay?
Additionally, I'd suggest an immediate separation. You each need to go to your respective corners, so to speak, and get some space away from each other. DO IT NOW.
Its clearly a very toxic relationship. Both of you need counseling. I'd get out now before a pregnancy happens, then before you get yourself involved again later in life, seek counseling.
This dude is right. My sister in-law and brother in-law have kids and they hate each other. They strike and curse each other right in front of their kids. Get out and be happy before you really regret it.
please dont have kids!!!! just get out NOW! you are so young and have a full life to live. it is clear you are not right for eachother. dont listen to her and just leave
Do you/DW have a friend/relative you can go stay with for a few days to get away? If your fights are escalating to the point of near physical abuse...it is time for someone to step away NOW. During this time, if you can't afford counseling, talk to a good friend or pastor.
To stay in a relationship filled with so much poison towards one another will only make things worse. If you really love her then work towards healing, if you can't see things getting any better it's time to call it quits. While marriage is INTENTED to last forever, it often does not and there is such a thing as marrying the wrong person. It doesn't make you a bad person....you just had bad judgement and one should not question their faith but hold onto it tightly during this time. Good luck to you!
I have been married for two years, and have slowly fallen into a pit that is taking a toll on my health. My wife and I fight quite regularly, on average when we are together I would say at least 4 to 5 days a week. These fights do range in aggressiveness, but every fight is quite heated. We are always up in one anothers faces and there is such visible potential for physical violence. My wife has punched me while driving the car, and I have grabbed her and held her in a rage. I know this sounds terrible, and I know it is. I saw so many red lights prior to this that I felt would lead to this, and its slowly coming to pass. I dont want to end up doing something to really hurt one another ( such as hitting her or infidelity-- not saying their is potential for that right now, but in bad marriages as I see now, nothing is out of the picture ). My greatest fear is that I physically hurt her as she has hit me before and in my anger I feel so much rage. I have been very ill about 6 times in a year, 3 times in hospital from stress ( one illness lasting 2 months). I cant take another year like this. We are young, I am about to finish my degree but know that I cant do another year like we have had in the past. I can feel great differences in my physically health ( practically no immune system-get sick very easily) mental health ( I cant think on a lvl that I used to, very exhausted ) and emotionally. I feel I need to remove myself, but she doesnt want me to leave. She falls down and tells me how it will kill her, how she loves me and will always love me, all these things that I think should solidify a relationship. The only problem is things like this have happened before and nothing changes, two years of constant fighting has almost destroyed my faith in each other. When she says those things I dont want to leave her....it confuses me, its up and down up and down. As a university student (26 yrs old ), I am not in the greatest financial bracket, and we cant afford professional help. We have seen a pastor once, but he did not believe in divorce, and since she was crying and telling him she loved me, he questioned my ability to love and why I would want to leave, even though I pretty much explained to him what was going on ( health wise, fighting, potential for physical violence etc.) I used to be a Christian but have lost my faith, she is a christian and that poses a problem also. I am so lost and alone. I saw what was going on, I ignored what I saw, and now were are here. I dont like what I see right now, I am terrified for the future, and cant live a life like this...I cant live with myself if I do something like abuse or cheating ( even though I feel the verbal abuse is already there ). I cant carry on in a normal life, I feel like a shell, I pretty much have to drop out of this year of school ( its just started ) because this continues to worsen. Any help or advice, please.
You have no kids with this woman and you are still there??????
Get out my friend before you create offspring with her.
Seriously, You need to leave her immediately!!!!! She is toxic!!!!!
I to am married to a crazy lady and I have a 9 year old I am trying to raise with her. As soon as he is on his own....I am on my own.
You need to leave to show her she needs to get help before you come back into this relationship. LEAVE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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