Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've dated two single dads. One was a criminal defense attorney, the other one was a senior software engineer. They are both successful, kind, handsome, etc.
I didn't believe and still don't believe single dads = damaged goods.
But I DO NOW painfully aware of the fact that their kids and them = package deal.
I cannot bond with children who are not biologically mine. Although those dads loved me and so did their children. I would say no to single fathers. Problem is me, not them.
You could also just be honest about having a vasectomy upfront. You chose to have one, so deal with both the benefits and consequences.
^Right on.
If I knew that a guy were incapable of impregnating a woman, that would go in the "plus" category-not on the "minus" list.
It would be a bonus, an added benefit, IMHO-not a disadvantage. It would evidence responsibility & maturity.
I'm resolutely childfree & intend to remain that way, so my view of this may be uncommon.
Alot of single girls that i know, have told me that they hesitate to date guys w kids, because their kinda selfish and dont like sharing the guys w his kids. They get upset that on the weekends that the guys have their kids, they cant go out or do anything w them, do you single ladies, hesitate to date guys w kids?
In a way, I do. Most guys my age probably are attached to the idea of dating an unrequited love or an ex they can't get over. And, my impression is since they got the baby mama preggos, they probably are still very much in love with the girl... or maybe they were really reckless about their choices (I'm talking about guys who haven't married and had kids prior to commitment).
I am currently dating a guy who has a small child (4 yrs old). He told me about her right away and asked me if I accepted that since his ex is still in the picture obviously. I love him and accept it. I admire what a good father he is as well. Him and his ex actually dont get along and their breakup was pretty bad (mostly on her part). But they are civil for their daughter.
Yes, childfree thanks to my vasectomy. Never had kids and NEVER will. My life goals, dreams and aspirations are way to important to ever have to deal with raising another human and/or just paying for another human to be raised once mommy gets bored with the relationship and runs to the state to attempt them to engage in legalized extortion.
However, although childfree guys are in big demand. Women for the most part ultimately want to have kids at some point.
So rule number one of having a vasectomy is to never let the women you are with know.
That serves two purposes. . . .
01 - If she is trying to get pregnant - the sex is going to be non-stop as her attempt at getting pregnant requires it.
02 - When and if she cheats and then announces that she is pregnant, you just act really confused about how that could have happened and then casually mention the vasectomy. It's like a lie detector test without having to actually hook her up to a polygraph. And then take great peace in knowing that the other idiot that was banging her is going to have to deal with her being pregnant with his kid.
There are childfree women. I'm not technically childfree but am childless and don't care either way. I like kids (I work with them)but the idea of being a stepmother repulses me on many levels. I don't want to deal with the drama or the financial. If my boyfriend flat out told me he didn't want kids I would be fine with that, though he's like me that if it happens so be it but is generally happy having no kids. We think he is probably sterile due to a childhood disease (running more tests)and we are both fine with this.
i promised myself i would never ever in a million years date a man with kids because i DONT want kids and im terrible with kids and if i ever did want kids id want the two of us to experience parenthood for the first time together, but i started dating, and have fallen in love with a man with 3 kids, 3 different moms. sounds insane, i know, but long story short, he has full custody of all his kids and takes very good care of them and is very serious about settling down. His kids are sweet and well behaved but my problem now is, because he has talked about marriage with me, that i wont have the choice of having a child of my own if i really wanted one. he tells me he doesnt want anymore kids but, and i quote, "if you want one you have to let me know now, cause i dont want any surprises later on about having a kid". If i stay with him, i might never have kids of my own, and i feel that if we were to have a child together he wouldnt love our child as much as he loves his other kids and it terrifies me. I love him, but im nervous to establish something permanent with him.. i need advice.. I feel its still too early to talk about having kids with him, but its really been bothering me lately. what do i do? bring it up now? or wait it out? wait for him to bring it up? help...
i promised myself i would never ever in a million years date a man with kids because i DONT want kids and im terrible with kids and if i ever did want kids id want the two of us to experience parenthood for the first time together, but i started dating, and have fallen in love with a man with 3 kids, 3 different moms. sounds insane, i know, but long story short, he has full custody of all his kids and takes very good care of them and is very serious about settling down. His kids are sweet and well behaved but my problem now is, because he has talked about marriage with me, that i wont have the choice of having a child of my own if i really wanted one. he tells me he doesnt want anymore kids but, and i quote, "if you want one you have to let me know now, cause i dont want any surprises later on about having a kid". If i stay with him, i might never have kids of my own, and i feel that if we were to have a child together he wouldnt love our child as much as he loves his other kids and it terrifies me. I love him, but im nervous to establish something permanent with him.. i need advice.. I feel its still too early to talk about having kids with him, but its really been bothering me lately. what do i do? bring it up now? or wait it out? wait for him to bring it up? help...
You really need to bring it up now. Most marriages fall apart when one or the other is not completely honest before marriage. Personally, I would have not dated him when I found out he was married more than once. One mistake----ok----but not learning from it and doing it again and again would have been too much for me.
I had only one ex to deal with and that was bad enough, you will have 3. If you are talking about marriage it is not too early to talk about kids, if he has custody even you will be tired with taking care of his 3. How did he have time to date anyway when he has 3 kids? LOL
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
relevant predicament
