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I want to post a story that happened to me to get people’s perspective on it. But not there opinion on what happened to me. I’d like to know how you’d view this situation, if you are a man, as to what happened to me…and how you’d react. And for women I guess for the woman in the story.
My Dad’s wife runs a daycare out of her house. About 2 years ago my dad told me that one of the mom’s there would be interested in talking to me. I guess she saw a picture and inquired about me and when was told about me was interesting. So I thought that was cool and she wanted to be contacted via email, so I did it because I can always meet new people.
My very first impression of her is that she had been used in the past, and that she did have low self esteem because of it. But she was very genuine and came across feet and intelligent. She made one comment pretty early on, “I don’t want a guy to just use me for sex,” that struck me. So I was like, I don’t need to be a walking hard on, I’ll be a gentleman and treat her like a lady, and if anything sexual arises then I’ll put the ball in her court to let her intentions known.
We texted and talked a lot, I listened to a lot of what she had to say and things she’d always wish she could’ve done. She was poor growing up, and was a poor single mom herself, so I thought I’d show her those things she was talking about.
We went on about a dozen dates, and hung out about 6 more times during the day. Some things we did:
I took her to several fun, decent restaurants that were appropriate for our age.
Out dancing.
Spring Training Game.
Bowling since she loved it.
To the lake in my boat, and hiking.
The Zoo.
To see some chick flick she was all jazzed up about.
Went shopping with her.
Science museum.
Also she mentioned how she really liked this one restaurants chicken that was close to her work but couldn’t get out to get it during work. So I’d call once in awhile and have her deliver it.
In all situations I paid for everything, since 1) I asked her. 2) She was dirt poor. I didn’t pay for her stuff shopping though, she was more just browsing anyways.
Also, I never even kissed her. Like I said she was in charge of that. A couple times she’d lean in and then get shy. I was always bummed that never went down cuz that would have been my chance to hold those delicious mounds on her chest, that I wanted to do since the minute I saw her.
Anyways, I don’t hear from her for a while. She tells my dad’s wife that she can’t call me anymore, cuz she liked me but didn’t know if I liked her sexually. And I made her sexually frustrated, and one day after work she got drunk with friends and hooked up with a guy…and now she had to be in a relationship with him.
It sounds to me like she liked you, but she doesn't know how to take charge of her sexual being. What I mean by that is, right off the bat she tells you that she doesn't want to get used for sex. That is weird. No one wants to get used for sex, but you don't say that to someone you don't yet know.
Then, she said she was sexually frustrated, b/c you two never did whatever she had been hoping for. Talk about mixed signals.
Then, you find out that she got drunk, "hooked up" with some guy, and now feels like she has to stay with him b/c they hooked up when she was out of her mind????
Ummmm.....I think she has some really big issues concerning sex and relationships. Personally, I'm not sure I'd want to be the one straightening her head out. I think you're better off with someone less confused.
I am not going to label all single mothers, but some of them are single for a good reason. I know of a few that basically go from man to man with no regard for anyone but themselves. And the poor kids in the situation.
Also we notice that many single mothers came from a household of a single mother. A father figure is something that is as important as a mother, no matter the childs gender.
Not saying that this is the case or that it is always the case, but user beware....
Anyway, if she was sexually frustrated after 6 dates and went and got drunk and "hooked up with another guy", whatever that consisted of, then you see the type of person she really is - someone looking for less of a connection with someone and a relationship of substance.
If you want a quick hook up then she is the type of person ? Use it as a good experience of what to NOT look for in a woman. God knows what she was really after, whether it was something real yet she was just very sexual , or gifts, money, support, attention, etc...risky.
I think that she blew it, because she should have felt close enough to you by then, to at least ask you why you was not making a move on her, not just join the next Tom or "Dick" that was available.
It sounds to me like she liked you, but she doesn't know how to take charge of her sexual being. What I mean by that is, right off the bat she tells you that she doesn't want to get used for sex. That is weird. No one wants to get used for sex, but you don't say that to someone you don't yet know.
Then, she said she was sexually frustrated, b/c you two never did whatever she had been hoping for. Talk about mixed signals.
Then, you find out that she got drunk, "hooked up" with some guy, and now feels like she has to stay with him b/c they hooked up when she was out of her mind????
Ummmm.....I think she has some really big issues concerning sex and relationships. Personally, I'm not sure I'd want to be the one straightening her head out. I think you're better off with someone less confused.
I know how I feel about the situation, and I tried my best not to color how I felt into the story. I'm more interested in knowing if you were me, would you feel I got used, or it sounds like a had a good time. Or if you were her how would you feel about the situation?
I really hope this doesn't turn into a gender bashing episode, but it might be inevitable. It's kind of a "half full or half empty" type question.
I know how I feel about the situation, and I tried my best not to color how I felt into the story. I'm more interested in knowing if you were me, would you feel I got used, or it sounds like a had a good time. Or if you were her how would you feel about the situation?
I really hope this doesn't turn into a gender bashing episode, but it might be inevitable. It's kind of a "half full or half empty" type question.
I don't think you got played. I don't think it's a positive or negative experience. It's one of those life lesson learned sort of things.
I don't think she used you. I think you two were having a good time, and she was waiting for you to make a move that didn't come, probably b/c of what she had told you from the start. Then, she went and did something stupid, which I'm guessing she now regrets.
Here's the thing - You have just learned that she is NOT the kind of woman you want to take home to mom. She has a lot of issues, and some growing up to do. So I can't say that it was a positive or negative experience, b/c it was some of both. At least you know now that she can be a bar floozy.....
We should start a new thread about man-whoring successes, failures, and just plain bizarre happenings.
I've got me a few...to say the least.
I prefer the term "finding out who I am."
Lol. Start it. That's a great place for my vomit girl make out stories.
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